Do you care what others think?

[blakbell 2]

I don't care what others think about me as a person. All that matters is how I think of myself as a person.

[The Crimson Cross 7,532]

To an extent of course. I might seem like a very bold and outspoken person at times but that's not to say that I don't care what people think of me. And really, of course I do care. I shouldn't want to offend someone with what I say or be disrespectful depending on the scenario. 

 

When it comes down to it, it's whether or not it bothers you, because frankly I couldn't give a damn about some things. Whereas other things require respect and consideration. There is a time and place for everything and you can't go willy nilly doing whatever you desire, you have to consider the implications on those around you.

If you get too caught up in what other people think, though, it'll lead you to developing anxiety about what you do. Thinking carefully behind what you say is not a bad thing, but you shouldn't feel afraid to speak at all. If you do, then you care too much.

 

Much like anything else in life, it's a balance.

 

An excellent point you have right there! 

It's all a balance. Too far on either side can be socially awkward.

Every time when I walk outside I think what people around me will think about me I try to act normal and I try to not to do anything that is somehow weird or grabs attention. I hate when people look at me and I'm center of attention, because then it's 100% sure that they will think something about me. Then I usually blush and/or cry . It feels awful.

 

The way I see it is, when I take a look at someone doing something, what crosses my mind isn't anything negative at all. I just see another person. And what do you think of others in a similar situation? Probably nothing negative.

Usually it's not as bad as what we internally visualise I've found.

Edited October 20, 2014 by The Crimson Cross

[Invalid 54]

Opinions from people I have no acquaintance with are oftentimes irrelevant. Good or bad.

 

If I asked for it, I'll take their words into consideration. Which hasn't been too common for me nowadays.

[Steel Accord 6,658]

@@Steel Accord,

 

You're going to live for thousands of years? However are you going to manage that feat? If you do manage to live for thousands of years and still manage to stay sane as you watch all of your family and friends die around you, please, before I pass tell me the secret to immortality. Imagine all of the things I could do if I had more time. by the way lovecraft is a brilliant author, 'tis a shame you don't like him.

 

Me personally? Probably not, but I can hope. I should have also mentioned I was a transhumanist amongst the above. Whether through mind uploading, cloning, genetic augmentation, or some other avenue, the human race will defeat death at some point. So being immortal will hardly be a solitary experience. (And even if it was http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LivingForeverIsAwesome)

 

My problem with Lovecraft is that he looked out into the vastness of the cosmos and he felt small. So he projected that unto everyone else. Lovecraft was saying that we would never reach Mars, cure cancer, or create Artificial General Intelligence. To him, human existence was without meaning or purpose, even self-ascribed purpose.

 

So that is why, good author or not, he is my enemy. My own stories will be about us staring into the abyss and saying,

 

"Take your best shot." 

Edited October 20, 2014 by Steel Accord

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,298]

I don't particularly care about what the majority of people think of me.  I'm not the biggest fan of the human race in general, so that helps. xD  However, there are a select few whose opinions do matter to me.  I wouldn't even require all of the digits on my two hands to count those individuals.  But if some complete stranger has a problem with me, that's obviously their problem.  I know who I am (though perhaps I'm still learning - and always changing), and I abide by the rules I set for myself.  How I dress, what I enjoy, who I love: these are MINE.  Part of me and beyond the superficial judgment of others.

My problem with Lovecraft is that he looked out into the vastness of the cosmos and he felt small. So he projected that unto everyone else. Lovecraft was saying that we would never reach Mars, cure cancer, or create Artificial General Intelligence. To him, human existence was without meaning or purpose, even self-ascribed purpose.

You do not understand Lovecraft or his fiction.  You have engendered an incorrect idea of him and made that fallacy your enemy.  The man's imagination was boundless; he sought to escape the smothering confines of reality through his fiction and explore the intangible ether that swirls beyond the shackles of mundanity.

 

"Time, space, and natural law hold for me suggestions of intolerable bondage, and I can form no picture of emotional satisfaction which does not involve their defeat—especially the defeat of time, so that one may merge oneself with the whole historic stream and be wholly emancipated from the transient and the ephemeral."

 

Lovecraft expressed himself in ways vaster and far less ordinary than the scope of mere human accomplishment - and the resulting vanity - would permit.  Lovecraft's fiction wasn't about MEN and their piddling little exploits.  Nor was it necessarily about their lack of importance; they were seldom the real focus of his writings.  It was about things ancient and unfathomable and undying that stretched without end and in all directions.  Beyond conventional thought and the frailty of human impermanence.  Beyond the tales that men manufacture to exaggerate their own relevance whilst scurrying blindly about a rock in a cold black sea.  If the biggest idea you can come up with is fundamentally reliant upon the human race, it is not a big idea at all.

[Black Drake 6]

I feel like I care too much as to what people think of me.  But this is simply because in my career the opportunity to get a job and earn money is based off who you know and what they are willing to do for you.  This even extends into getting better and more proper training. Though this makes sense on a professional level it has crept into the personal level with everyone.  to the point that if people think I'm not "normal" (and to my personal feelings though watching technicolor ponies is fun and I plan to continue, its not what society ha defined as "Normal") then I get anxious and uncomfortable.  

 

An example is as follows: Only about 2 of the people I hang out with regularly know how into mlp I actually am.  And though others know I have watched it they think that I simply watched five episodes as a bet, and I didn't enjoy it.  Why? cause that's what I told them in an attempt to look "normal." 

[Paradoxy 12]

Emotionally, I get bothered and anxious and crap. I fear being judged so much that I often find it hard or impossible to talk, or I want to but my mind goes blank.

 

Philosophically, though, I don't give two bits. I set my own standards and only seriously doubt myself when I fail to meet them. I value the opinions of people who know me well and who have good judgement, but I don't seek their validation.

 

Besides, I judge others pretty harshly and find it hard to take their opinions seriously when I find their worldviews laughable, which is... too many people. You have to earn my respect before I care what you think about me.

[Cloud Strife 928]

I can't take criticism because I take everything straight to my heart . 

 

Every time when I walk outside I think what people around me will think about me I try to act normal and I try to not to do anything that is somehow weird or grabs attention. I hate when people look at me and I'm center of attention, because then it's 100% sure that they will think something about me. Then I usually blush and/or cry . It feels awful.

 

A good rule of thumb to note: there are a lot of people out there who feel the same way who are socializing with you. They're thinking about how terrible it would be for other people to think of them like that, feel out of practice with socializing, etc. Sure there are people who are confident but most people are not confident everywhere.

 

The best way to get good at socializing is to practice it - and yes, that would mean painting a target on yourself in certain situations.

 

As for criticism, it depends on the kind of criticism you're receiving. If it's not constructive (i.e. doesn't give you compliments and specify what exactly it is that you need to improve) then it's not worth taking under consideration. If it is, keep in mind most people trying to give you constructive criticism are trying to help you. Taking criticism is as much of an art as giving it, though, and I can totally understand how easy it is to leap to conclusions from what criticism they give you (hell, I still have problems with it). Just remember that there are people out there who don't think you're weird, and in fact fear that they're weird to you.

[Shift 4,269]

@@Steel Accord,

 

God, I wish I could be as optimistic as you. 

[iceestarz 5,752]

I probably shouldn't care, but I do. I feel influenced by everyone around me, I always end up thinking about what they probably think of me. It makes me nervous, and at times makes me have panic attacks.

 

Don't get me wrong, I still wear whatever the hell I want, but if I'm around anyone I don't feel safe with then I start to wig out. I wear my pony hoodie to school, when I'm walking down the hall I don't pay attention to anyone. But when I'm in class and have I stand up in front of people I cross my arms as to cover up the ponies. I'm just afraid of people blurting out something that could potentially embarrass me in front of others.

 

It won't stop me from doing what I want. Such as when I went to build a bear and made Pinkie and Dashie. Sure it felt a little awkward but I still did it despite the rude remarks a few adults threw my way.

 

I worry a lot on my appearance towards others and how they perceive me, but I won't let it greatly affect how I act or what I wear or talk about.

[ManaMinori 4,143]

nope, not one little bit. I do and say and wear what I want, others' opinions be damned.

[Kothen 279]

I care way too much and it affects me too much, I wish to change that but its easier said than done. I'm just too overly sensitive for my own good.

[Guest]

Not at all, I like what I like and I don't apologise to anyone for that, just as I wouldn't expect anyone else to feel bad about what they like.

 

Having said that, I do take others' thoughts into consideration if its concerns something which might impact others in a detrimental way.

[Retro*Derpy 3,078]

I'm kinda the opposite. I have trust issues and don't like to interfere with people. If someone has a problem with me they can fight me over it.

 

Now if this is something like a project, than I really don't care. If it works fine, but if not than no. Whatever.

Edited October 20, 2014 by Retro*Derpy

[Alex Z 848]

I don't care what people think of me.

[Steel Accord 6,658]

I don't particularly care about what the majority of people think of me.  I'm not the biggest fan of the human race in general, so that helps. xD  However, there are a select few whose opinions do matter to me.  I wouldn't even require all of the digits on my two hands to count those individuals.  But if some complete stranger has a problem with me, that's obviously their problem.  I know who I am (though perhaps I'm still learning - and always changing), and I abide by the rules I set for myself.  How I dress, what I enjoy, who I love: these are MINE.  Part of me and beyond the superficial judgment of others.

You do not understand Lovecraft or his fiction.  You have engendered an incorrect idea of him and made that fallacy your enemy.  The man's imagination was boundless; he sought to escape the smothering confines of reality through his fiction and explore the intangible ether that swirls beyond the shackles of mundanity.

 

"Time, space, and natural law hold for me suggestions of intolerable bondage, and I can form no picture of emotional satisfaction which does not involve their defeat—especially the defeat of time, so that one may merge oneself with the whole historic stream and be wholly emancipated from the transient and the ephemeral."

 

Lovecraft expressed himself in ways vaster and far less ordinary than the scope of mere human accomplishment - and the resulting vanity - would permit.  Lovecraft's fiction wasn't about MEN and their piddling little exploits.  Nor was it necessarily about their lack of importance; they were seldom the real focus of his writings.  It was about things ancient and unfathomable and undying that stretched without end and in all directions.  Beyond conventional thought and the frailty of human impermanence.  Beyond the tales that men manufacture to exaggerate their own relevance whilst scurrying blindly about a rock in a cold black sea.  If the biggest idea you can come up with is fundamentally reliant upon the human race, it is not a big idea at all.

 

That's what you've taken from his writing and I can't tell you you are wrong. Anymore than you can tell me I am.

 

Everything you wrote was absolutely true. The only problem is that Lovecraft was human and so am I, as are you. It's those very ideals that allow us to transcend our mortality and aspire to something hire. Whenever one of Lovecraft's protagonists found out more about their world, the more it broke their minds. Rather than seeing knowledge and exploration as empowering and ennobling, Lovecraft despised such notions.

 

"Now all my tales are based on the fundamental premise that common human laws and interests and emotions have no validity or significance in the vast cosmos-at-large."

 

"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age."

— The Call of Cthulhu

 

I don't agree. I believe we are all here for a reason. I believe the human race has the ability to transcend Earth, death, and all obstacles Lovecraft imagined would undo us. I see a far future where "homo sapien" as we understand it is gone, but humanity reigns across galaxies, pushing new boundaries of science and philosophy.

 

So again, if you admire Lovecraft, I'm not judging, certainly he's had his influence on me as well. I just will never say our current state of being blind, deaf, and dumb, on a mud ball will be our perpetual state.

@@Steel Accord,

 

God, I wish I could be as optimistic as you. 

 

Well what's stopping you? No one can control how you feel but you.

[A goat 323]

Depends on what they judge me by. If people judge me by the way I dress or the fact that I'm a brony, I would not give two bucks about what they think of me. If they judge me by the way I act around people, I would care.

[Celli 4,332]

No I do not care, unless of course I'm doing something wrong and need to be called out on it.

[Scootaloo Is Best Filly 576]

I always care about what people think about me. It doesn't matter who says it, friend, neighbor, co worker, parents, family, some hobo on the street, if people say anything negative about me, ANYTHING at all, it bothers me for hours, sometimes days at a time. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, but, it's gotten to the point where every single negative thing someone says about me, kinda makes me feel horrible about myself. I don't know if it's a  low self confidence issue or what, all I know is it would be impossible for me to care any more about what other's think, than I all ready do.

[Sonicwing 57]

Not particularly no. There was a time in school when I tried to fit in with everyone but I got picked on anyway. I figured if I'm gonna be picked on for being anything, it may as well be for being me. And anyway, my friends and loved ones and people who actually matter like me so I don't feel like I have to impress anyone. If someone only likes a version of me that I squeezed myself into to fit in then they don't really like or even know me so it becomes pointless. If some one doesn't like me then that's that. No point worrying what people think cos regardless of what you do, you won't be able to change what they think. 

[Snow Frostflame 3,567]

to be completely honest I don't give any shits about what people think I 'am.... 

 

I know what I 'am and I'm content being who I 'am

 

I don't care if I fit in because why be a part of the crowd when you can be unique

[Nightfall Gloam 18,231]

I try not to care what others think of me but, when I go pony shopping, I often wait a little while until the shops I'm at are quiet before I go buying anything. 

[boiteporte 591]

I do care what other people think of me but only up to a certain point. It will not stop me from doing what I want to do though.

[Justin_Case001 4,855]

For me, I don't care what people think. I like being myself and dressing anyway I want to. I mostly enjoy wearing my Finn hat from Adventure Time in public. 8D I'm a child at heart, so I will do anything more child-like. It usually involves carrying around my plushies or my Elsa doll wherever I go as well.

Rock on.  I love dressing the way I want as well.  I wear pretty unconventional clothes that challenge the norm and gender roles.  Oh yes, and Elsa is best princess.

 

As for me, I guess the answer is a little complicated.  I've always been overly self-consious.  It's something I've battled my whole life.  I care too much about what others think.  But recently I've decided to stop caring about certain things.  I dress the way I want now, and I don't worry about what others think.  I couldn't be happier in that regard.  I still do care what others think, but I try not to let it stop me from doing what I want and being who I am.  I think it's healthy to care what others think to a certain extent.  It depends.  Let's see, how do I explain it...  It's healthy to want to make a good impression, but we should never let what others think stop us from being ourselves.  I guess that's the best way to put it.

 

@@ooBrony: I know what you mean, and I know how you feel.  So often in my life I have felt like there is something wrong with me, as if everyone else is normal and somehow more deserving of friendship and love, and I am inadequate in some way, and have no right to approach others or talk to them.  Logically, I know this is completely untrue, but when you have those feelings....well, sometimes they can be overwhelming, and there's little that can be done to stop that negative train of thoughts.  From my experience, sometimes those feelings just have to run their course until something happens to make you see how ridiculous they are.  For me, it was this fandom, plain and simple.  My advice to you is to remember that however you're feeling, many people around you are feeling the same way.

 

 

Not particularly no. There was a time in school when I tried to fit in with everyone but I got picked on anyway. I figured if I'm gonna be picked on for being anything, it may as well be for being me. And anyway, my friends and loved ones and people who actually matter like me so I don't feel like I have to impress anyone. If someone only likes a version of me that I squeezed myself into to fit in then they don't really like or even know me so it becomes pointless. If some one doesn't like me then that's that. No point worrying what people think cos regardless of what you do, you won't be able to change what they think

Wiser words have never been spoken.

Edited October 21, 2014 by Justin_Case001

[RescueScout 8]

I think it's pretty obvious and I think it's inhuman to not want some kind of feedback from your peers, it's not really so much as a question of do we care what others think, but who's opinions of us, matter to us, and who's don't. The reason I say this is because look at you, right now, you're on a forum reading this post, so clearly you want your opinion heard and you want to voice it as well as listen to others, so of course you care what others think. We all don't have skin so thick that we can tune out the world and those around us. We can however definitely tune out those that bother us, as bronies a lot of us are probably really familiar with this. I go to a community high school as well, a high school to make up credits faster, it's where a lot of the druggies and arrogant people end up, thankfully I'll be done with it soon, but it has really taught me how to tune things out. There's so much hysteria with what's going on with ebola and all, and them making fun of me wearing my little pony shirts, I just get all A's and know that they're not going anywhere so what they say will never really matter, but of course there is always that one voice or one word that gets to me. I have to calm down and try not to think about what they say. So yes I care what people say and think, I think we all do.

Edited October 21, 2014 by RescueScout