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Crushes, stories and stuff


iceestarz

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I was once in love with my best friend's wife.  When he found out, we fought a duel in the...um...I mean a duel to the...uh....ugh....*ssssigh*.  No, that never happened.  I made it up.  It's all lies.  But they're entertaining lies.  And in the end, isn't that the real truth?  The answer....is no.

 

I wish I had a good story, but I don't.  I've dreamed of finding love all my life, but I've never had much in the way of crushes.  At least, not on people I've met in person that I might actually be able to talk to.  I actually was infatuated with my friend's younger sister in high school.  She was a couple of grades behind me.  It was a dumb infatuation--her personality really wasn't compatible with me at all.  I never said anything.  Nothing ever came of it.

 

 

In the present, I have substantial feelings for a certain woman. I haven't told her about it and I don't know if/when I will due to various factors,

Do it.  Tell her.  Doesn't matter if it works out or not.  Doesn't matter if you make an idiot of yourself or not.  You have to do it.  Don't let this opportunity slip away.  You'll regret it if you do.

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I haven't told her about it and I don't know if/when I will due to various factors, so I just try to talk to her when the opportunity arises and when things happen in a way that make it easier for me in light of my fear in such situations.

 Do it.  Tell her.  Doesn't matter if it works out or not.  Doesn't matter if you make an idiot of yourself or not.  You have to do it.  Don't let this opportunity slip away.  You'll regret it if you do.

^

SCS, as a dear friend of mine, I say tell her. Gosh, you don't know how much I regret not telling my highschool crush anything. I wish I had been brave enough to tell him or even gave him a letter. Or something. Don't let the opportunity slip away.

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Oh man, all these crush stories are making me nostalgic and grateful my school days are over at the same time.  

 

 

In 9th grade, which is eons ago, I had a huge crush on this guy (who in retrospect was really undesirable- he only wore the same 2 t-shirts all year, he must of had crazy good pheromones or something)  I'd let him copy my math homework like every day, and I would have to go in the bathroom to make sure I looked ok before I knew I would see him in class.  One day he said "I'll love you forever if you let me borrow your Spanish texbook"  I think I almost died.  Looking back on this I find it all so absurd and funny. 

 

I had a crush on my fiancee for about a year before we started going out.  9 years later I still lord it over him that I liked him before he liked me.

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I never really had a memorable crush in my younger years, nothing more than "that guy looks so cute" though...in my high school freshman days, many girls in my class had a thing for this cute junior. Looking back at it now, it was borderline stalking. I volunteered to work in the library at that time and he hung out there a lot to read. I didn't really have a lot of friends then and I was so eager to gain a couple so when they asked me if they could just "borrow" his library card so I got it for them and they got his address and stuff. 

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I have crushes plenty of times. It's probably because I'm actively looking for someone, but I always notice they aren't interested or with someone else the majority of the time. I doubt anyone's looking in my area because even if they are single, they're so focused on work/college to even give it a second thought. I've never had a date anyways so I'm far beyond that level of relationships.

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Well...

 

I was holdin' the door to the gym locker room (ya know,actively avoiding gym class) and this unreasonably attractive guy walked through the door and he complimented my suspenders..needless to say my knees buckled and I almost fell over..it was weird...I also tried to "woo" a girl by making dumb jokes like "I'm like a plank...because i'm bored!" (Rim-shot) so ya know i'm awkward!

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I have this crush on one of my friends, but I haven't told her yet. I don't think she knows that I'm bi, and I'm not sure if she's straight or anything, so I'm sorta hesitant to let her know...

 

BUT, tomorrow night, I get to spend a couple hours with her. She invited me to this halloween, interactive murder mystery thingamajig, and I'm so excitttted. I even gave up the tickets for a play I was going to go see that day.

 

I regret nothing ^.^

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Ok... I'll share my story. ;)

 

I was working at Walmart in West Virginia. Ooooh yeah. I became friends with my manager, and pretty quickly found out she was having a fling with a co-worker. The fling was with another cashier which is absolutely against the work policy (higher status + lower status = NO), AND it was a lesbian relationship. At work they got a lot of shit from it. Surprisingly, that area of West Virginia had quite a large gay scene. She invited me out to this gay club one Friday night. Her girlfriend invited a friend as well.

And . He . Was . Gorgeous

Do you believe in love at first sight? I didn't. But there he was and I was already head over heels for him.

 

Every Friday night after that we went to this gay club together with our lesbian friends. The four of us had a great time. We'd watch the drag queen show, shoot some pool, and drink (until I found out he was only 19! I was 23!) Every week I'd call my friend and ask if we were still on and if he was going. Apparently, he did the same. One night he drove me home and his van broke down at my house. We stayed up all night, talking, giggling, playing with tarot cards, eating ice cream. He left at 6am when he was able to call for help. That was the first time we were ever alone together. It felt like a movie scenario "falling in love" scene.

 

Here's the problem. I was convinced he was gay.

 

I mean, gorgeous guy, gay club, ME... why would he like ME?

 

Well he did.

 

Not too long after he stayed the night we decided to party at our friend's (my boss's) house. I brought over some alcohol and we all got smashed. That night he admitted he really really liked me, but he was too shy to admit it. Then he kissed me. We moved pretty quickly, and a few weeks later we were living together. It was like a dream... I had never been happier. We would dance in our socks in the kitchen, have pillow fights, cuddle on the floor in the living room and watch movies... I remember I bought silly string for his 21st birthday and he got everyone to gang up on me with it. There was still silly string stuck to our ceiling when we moved out. Thinking about this stuff, even now, is making my heart feel lighter.

 

I have never fallen so fast, loved so hard, or been hurt so much by one person. When we broke up..... it feels like a piece of me is gone forever. Not a day goes by where I don't think about him.

 

He told me he doesn't know how to love.

 

To find out that the only person you've ever truly loved has never loved you....

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I've had a great number of crushes over the years. None have led to any awkward moments, really. This is for two reasons. For one, I'm pretty selective, secretive, and patient. I've never made any moves without very significant foresight, long in advance. Not only that, but in fact, I don't really see what's so awkward with being honest with people and telling them how I feel. Sure, it's awkward, but it's less awkward than avoiding the elephant in the room.

 

In any case, twenty years and counting, and not one crush has been reciprocated thus far. I've experienced so much unrequited love, thinking about it doesn't do much but make me want to crawl into a hole and die.

 

A story? Okay... I'll tell you a story. It's gonna be pretty sickening, though. Warning: may contain sads. This is going to be long, so I'm putting it in a spoiler tag.

 

 

So, there was this girl that I liked. We had known each other for a while, and were naturally becoming friends. She wasn't in a relationship when we first met, but eventually ended up being with a guy—for a few months.

 

After that, she went through this period of time where she didn't want a relationship at all. I could tell she was just hurting from her loss, but I never confronted her about it. I took my time, and in that time, I crafted this masterful idea.

 

In order to explain myself in a safe way without pushing any boundaries, I decided that I would write a romantic story for her. Knowing that she was into that kind of thing, I figured it would work. I started writing us together as characters, and I was planning on having her read the story to get her feedback on the idea.

 

I was almost done with the story. In that time that I was writing it, she started talking to someone else. Guess what? Instantly in love! "OMG yesyesyesyesyesyes! Yeeeeeeeesssss! This is the best day ever!"

 

Eventually, I confronted her about the whole ordeal. I told her the truth. I liked her and I was upset with her being in love because I thought she was interested in me. I even admitted that it was selfish of me to think in such a way, and I did everything I could not to make her seem like she was in the wrong. I was greeted with the whole "yeah, you're my friend but I don't really like you," thing... and over time, it only grew worse.

 

Strangely, after that we became even closer friends. We talked every day for like six months straight. She knew how much I liked her, she knew what all I would have done for her. I mean, I wasn't going to hide it or anything. At that point, it was senseless. She already knew.

 

And she didn't care. She would always talk about her love life, always mention how great it was. I told her it hurt me; I asked her to stop. She never did. It was like she was teasing me. I swear, I think she enjoyed it in some way...

 

In time it ate at me like some kind of poison. Even though I always had her to talk to, I became increasingly lonely. When I went through one of my major depressive streaks, I had mentioned some of that as politely as I could. I didn't ask anything of her, nor did I make any accusations. I just told her that I didn't feel like I mattered. I told her I wanted to feel more involved. My reasoning was that even though she wasn't in love with me, we were best friends and thus I should still matter to her. Her response was something like, "Obviously you're not as important to me, because [some stupid reason about the English language putting two words together]."

 

Whenever I mentioned it, I was immediately greeted with disdain. It was my fault. I had done something wrong. I just needed to change my attitude. Yadda yadda yadda.  The things she told me hit me harder than anything. Obviously I wasn't as important. Obviously... because it was just obvious, y'know?

 

There was also a time when I gave her something, but she immediately turned around and gave my gift to you-know-who. Needless to say, that hurt a lot. I never mentioned it, though. My reasoning was that I gave it to her, and she could do what she wanted with it. But it still stung, and basically symbolized the entire relationship in a nutshell.

 

She would often vent to me about her troubles with you-know-who. Not just little things, mind you, but big fights over little things. It happened monthly. I was her best friend, so when things went awry in her love life, I was the first person she came to. She told me everything about everything. I tried to be helpful and offer the best advice I could, even though I really wanted that relationship to fall flat on its face. My advice worked time after time, and then she'd thank me the next day. But then, once the problem was solved, I'd immediately be pushed to the back, yet again.

 

Other times, she would completely ignore me. Like, for my birthday, for example. She was around, but she never even bothered to say anything. There were all sorts of things like that... I never pressed those little issues, but they all made me feel absolutely terrible. They were constant disappointments, constant reminders of my insignificance. I couldn't bring up any such topics with her, though. I never felt that I deserved her attention. I considered myself privileged just because she would *occasionally* speak to me.

 

During our final few months together, she also spent a lot of time trying to explain to me why she didn't like me. I never got a definite answer. She said what matters to her is a person's personality (that's weird to say), and she then said that she didn't like mine as much. At that point, I didn't even take offense. I just accepted it. Yeah, I'm not as good of a person. It seemed obvious. She convinced me of it.

 

What's funny is that she was surprised when I took it all personally. She shamed me for feeling bad about myself. Like, really... nothing is more personal than that, in my opinion. Of course I was going to take it personally.

 

On top of that, she also gave me the enlightening story of how her relationship started. Let us note that she couldn't go a single day without mentioning her relationship, so eventually this was inevitable. She explained to me that she was brutally depressed before that relationship started, but her love brought her out of her depression and basically fixed her life.

I knew her through that whole time. I watched her grow and change, as we both did in those years. She really was miserable when we first met, and now... she really is happy.

She said her love was what mattered most to her—but specifically excluded her love for her friends. She valued her relationship more than anything else in the world, even going as far to make ignorant comments such as "no one else could ever love me as much." Yeah... way to go, I guess she really didn't recognize that I existed.

She said that love was all about recognizing and accepting one's faults. She believed that what she had was true love, because she literally thought you-know-who was perfect, and vice versa. She acted like that love was the greatest thing in the entire world, like it was the best thing to ever happen in the history of all things in existence. Sadly, I'm not actually joking. But what about me, you ask? Of course, she was very ready to admit both that she didn't love me, and that I had plenty of faults which prevented her from doing so.

The problem was that she was my best friend and my crush. She was everything to me. But to her, I was just a friend. I was just someone to pass the time, to keep her busy. I was, at the end of the day, no one special at all. That hurt me, and I had no one else to turn to.

She never cared about me in the same way. I could feel it, but I couldn't explain it. This was most noticeable when we parted... she was genuinely happy even when I left. She knew I was upset that whole time, but it never affected her. She had what she wanted.

 

The worst part about this was that she wasn't the only one. Even during the time period that I was with her, I also had my eye on other girls. All this time I've just been looking for one person... hoping that one day, somehow, I'll meet someone who actually thinks I'm worthy of their attention.

 

If, at the time, I had someone to talk some sense into me, none of that would ever have happened. If someone had actually have been supportive of me, I wouldn't have collapsed into depression for so long. All I needed was someone to tell me that she was wrong and I actually was a likable person. I had other crushes too, but they only made it worse—when I found out that no one liked me at all, I was absolutely devastated.

 

It was a hard lesson to learn, but I've learned it. If someone doesn't like you, you can't be around them. You need to recognize that they're no less flawed than you are and move on. You can't dwell on the thought that things will change in the future.

 

Sure, it's easy to believe that eventually she's gonna see how awesome you are and change her mind, but that would imply that she has the ability to do so.

 

Oh, and actually... there is something good that came of it. When I was rejected by her, I kept working on that story that was originally for her. I transformed that project into something else entirely—it became a fictional, altered representation of my relationship with her. It's now a 240,000+ word Lion King fanfiction that I've been working on over the past two years. If you're interested, you can read it here.

 

Edited by Regulus
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I don't really have a crush, especially since last year I don't let myself get too involved with a girl (i'd tell you the story but god I was so dumb last year I thought I'd gotten past all of that in 8th grade), there are girls I'm attracted to but I wouldn't say it's a crush. Although everytime I go to a party I strike it up good with girls but then we never talk again, ever. sometimes rarely.


I have this crush on one of my friends, but I haven't told her yet. I don't think she knows that I'm bi, and I'm not sure if she's straight or anything, so I'm sorta hesitant to let her know...

 

BUT, tomorrow night, I get to spend a couple hours with her. She invited me to this halloween, interactive murder mystery thingamajig, and I'm so excitttted. I even gave up the tickets for a play I was going to go see that day.

 

I regret nothing ^.^

don't be to reluctant to talk to her, and I'd be sure to make your intentions clear. good luck!

Edited by NotoriousSMALL
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I have had many smaller crushes, since I get very confused and not sure on if I even have a crush on someone, plus combined with the fact that I have no chance with any girl really, and the fact I'm kinda lonely I guess.

 

I've only had like 2 or 3 major crushes though. Both of which I never have asked out or done anything to tell them, because unfortunately or fortunately, they both already had love interests elsewhere that I very quickly found out about, or I knew about before I had a crush on them.

 

Plus, they have next to no interest in me. So that doesn't help, but considering I'm not good looking, it's no surprise.

 

Anyways, enough whining about my love life, i'm sure nobody cares. 

 

During the time I had my first major crush, I was at a sleepover with this crushes brother. We were talking and joking around and stuff, when suddenly, my crushes' brother jokingly said "You should go out with my sister!" And I just kinda laughed externally, but internally I was like, oh yeah, haha. 

 

And after that there was certainly no chance I was going to ask her out or anything. Plus I learned later she had a crush on another guy anyways, and I know she has no interest like me, same as any other girl.

 

My newer, and current crush, I can't say I have any particularly interesting stories involving her and me really. But again, she has love interest in another guy, in fact he already knows I think too. 

 

And I've never had a girl do anything to show they had interest in me. So yeah.

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Um, why am i here

It's so cute reading all you guys's stories! :3

 

I haven't told her about it and I don't know if/when I will due to various factors

 

You must tell her if you feel 'tis right.

 

I had a crush on my fiancee for about a year before we started going out.  9 years later I still lord it over him that I liked him before he liked me.

Haha! :3

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