fan fiction Good doggy no bone ( a GWOA back story )

[Megachangeling12 109]

Todd sat under a tree and sulked . He couldn't believe what had happened today .he and Vixey were no longer mates . Not only did they disagree on the politics of the war brewing in Africa but todd found out that Vixey had a new mate though who this other male was Todd didn't know yet . He continued to cry when big mama perched on tree right above him ." What's the matter Todd ?" She asked sympathetically . He sighed ." You know what problem is big mana Vixey dumped me ." The motherly owl smiled weakly " honey sometimes love hurts . It dosn't always work out but there's always a bright side . Besides I know you have someone else on your mind you just don't know it ." Todd looked at her quizzically " what do you mean ?" Big mama laughed ." I can't tell you . That's not how love works but I'll give a hint through song you two go together like fireflies and jars ." Todd spent a day trying to figure out what she meant . Then he started to figure it out . When he was younger he and Copper had gone to carnival . There Copper meant a traveling band and Todd became Jelous . He encountered the band's former lead singer Dixie . They became fast friends and tried to get back at Copper and Dixie's mate Cash they ended up failing but on the bright side had gotten Cash and Dixie back together . Todd never forgot Dixie and she was highly attractive he hadn't realized it but even when he was dating Vixey he had a crush on Dixie this whole time . He ha to talk to het .

Todd ran to Big Mana's tree ." Big Mama is the carnival,in town this week ?" He added hurriedly. Big mama nodded and smiled . He quickly found his way off the preserve and followed the scent of the carnival's food until he got there .

 

Todd crept around and quickly found the familiar barn house ." Ok let's get to growlin and howlin " Cash instucted his band who were noticeably missing a member . Todd quietly walked up " excuse me Cash ?" He said in a slightly shy voice . Cash turned around and greeted the fox ." Yes can I help you ?" He asked " Cash it's me Todd " Todd smiled . Cash froze and then chuckled ." Todd ? It's been a while . How ya been ?" Todd sighed " I'm alright how about you ?" Cash also sighed " we've been ok but you wouldn't believe how much Dixie had missed you ." Todd took a step back ." Really ?" Cash nodded " yep I'm as tired a sled dog with no team right now because Dixie won't help me and ended our relationship because she loves you ." Todd gasped " really ?! Wow .. " Cash shook his head sadlyas they walked to the bus . " she's been depressed ever since you left apparently your the greatest guy she ever met it would her real happy to se ya again ." They reached the bus and Cash told Todd to hide so they could surprise Dixie . Cash knocked the door and Dixie opened it ." What is it Cash ?"she growled annoyed ." Well it's just that I've got someone here you'd probably wanna see .". Dixie huffed " oh please Cash I'm not infested in meeting some dirty mutt from off the streets ." She was interrupted by Todd who had had a smirk on his face ." I thought you'd be happier to see a old friend ." He laughed ." Who are you ?" She added with confusion and a bit of venom in her voice ." Let's just say I'm a doggy with no bone ." He chuckled .

 

Dixie couldn't believe her eyes . Todd was standing right in front of her ." Todd why you two timing little moron .." Todd raised an eyebrow ." Hey I'm not little anymore ." Dixie ignored him ." Cash give us a little bit please ." She requested leading Todd into the bus ." When they were alone they spoke in unison ." I'd like to tell you something ." Todd decied to be gentleman and smiled " you go first " he said ." Well I'm not sure how yo say this but I love you when others weren't there for me you were and we go together like that song fire files in jars ." Todd smiled ." Thanks Dix you know I recently went through a break up and I didn't know what I would do . Then I woke up and remembered you're not only beautiful but you taught me so many things about life your single most intelligent and attractive female I've ever met .' Dixie smirked and laughed " what are you sayin Todd ?" Todd smirked too ." I'm sayin I love you too ." They be began to nuzzle and lick each other before falling asleep .

The first few weeks . Things were casual . But as threats of the war reaching North America became more frequent so did the heated conversation of which side to join . Cash and the majority of the band thought the only sane thing to do was to join the pridelanders . Todd and Dixie however symaphized witth the outlanders . Once the tour ended and the war threats reached their peak . The couple found a crow who was leading a large group of army recruits for the outlanders . Among the group was a deer named Ronno and two dogs Scamp and Dodger . Todd became best friends with these 3 while Dixie crafted a strong friendship with Angel and Rita the mates of Scamp and Dodger . The large group was lead to the cargo of a small airplane headed for the African plains . After a few long hours they reached their destination sneaking past the pridelands they all sighned up for the army and met with King Scar who thanked them for their help and introduced them to his family and generals . Dixie , Rita and Angel hit it off with Kiara and Shenzi while Todd , Scamp , Dodger and Ronno were more invested in meeting Scar's son Nuka and bus hyenas's second in command Banzai . Some days later Todd preposed to Dixie bad they got engaged .

They may be living in a wasteland but they were happy . Turns out good dogs really don't get the bones the bad ones do .

To be continued .

Hope you liked it guys !

Edited April 2, 2015 by Megachangeling12

[CP3_P0n3 170]

Todd sat under a tree and sulked . He couldn't believe what had happened today .he and Vixey were no longer mates . Not only did they disagree on the politics of the war brewing in Africa but Toadd found out that Vixey had a new mate though who this other make was Todd didn't know yet......

 

 

Overall, the story is okay. What I was actually pointing out was your style of writing, the way you write. It's like reading a plain old textbook. The story is just like a description of an event and how it goes but it doesn't feel like a story. If you were to be honest with yourself, I know even you can't feel the story. It has no feelings. It's to "scientific". Sorry, I'm bad at explaining this but I hope you take it as an encouragement and a way to improve because I know you really like writing. (not saying I'm great at writing, just want to give you an advice)

 

Doesn't mean I don't like it but if I say I like it, I'm afraid you might continue this style. Just try to read more novels or read some of the good RP. Believe me, I've gone what you went through, it's painful to accept it but once you do, you can learn more and improve. Good luck my little one! *fade into the abyss...*

 

I don't want to go through mispelling and grammars. Once you've gone deeper into writing, you will start to write slowly and more precisely.

Edited April 2, 2015 by Inference

[Megachangeling12 109]

Thanks for advice . Just a couple of things .

1. This part was supposed to not be as in depth as in the future being a backstory .

2, just to maje sure I don't accidentally write in this style again his do think I should add feeling to the story ?