My Sister, Loyalty

[NavelColt 22,876]

I really wanted to do a piece that represented my love for Scootalove with Dashie :3 Dash and Scootaloo having a surrogate sisterly relationship that makes me squee, so I made this short one shot about it. Hope you enjoy it~

 

Link: http://www.fimfictio...Sister,-Loyalty

 

Characters, settings, places, etc are all © to Hasbro

 

Story is © to me

Edited November 8, 2012 by ~Chaotic Discord~

[Tix 29]

Goodness me, I didn't think I'd like it that much any chance of a second one?

[MVC NVMXD JVRXD 2,406]

I still think I'm allowed to judge you, though.

GOOD GOOD GOOD!

[NavelColt 22,876]

I still think I'm allowed to judge you, though.

GOOD GOOD GOOD!

 

 

Should read it when you has the time sometime though But thanks for the pre-read feedback 83

 

Goodness me, I didn't think I'd like it that much any chance of a second one?

 

Please read my author's notes more thoroughly at the beginning of the first post :3

[VladmireV.S.(Crank) 1,096]

this is so amazing!more Scootalove worldwide!!!

[Shankveld 4,945]

[Tix 29]

Ohhh, I read the story if that counts though! I just started I decided to check the length I figured before I pass this up might as well try. I didn't finish scrolling back up. Very good hook, kept my interest peaked. I think I may have to check out your other works. (Assuming they are all just as good or better than this. I would've liked to see more of this, hope before when not. Oh well. I've stumbled upon a wonderful author.

Edited June 12, 2012 by Tix

[NavelColt 22,876]

Ohhh, I read the story if that counts though! I just started I decided to check the length I figured before I pass this up might as well try. I didn't finish scrolling back up. Very good hook, kept my interest peaked. I think I may have to check out your other works. (Assuming they are all just as good or better than this. I would've liked to see more of this, hope before when not. Oh well. I've stumbled upon a wonderful author.

 

Thanks ^^ Yeah like I said, this is a oneshot. Unfortunately I tend to do one shots and short stories, not chaptered stories. My mind moves on to new ideas so quickly, and my interest changes a lot, so that's why. But I shall definitely be doing more Scootalove in the future.

 

As for other works, they're all older than this and not pony-related xP But I am working on another pony story, about Dash and Spitfire, atm that's about half-way done. Keep your eyes out for it

[Tix 29]

You said Dash so I'm in. :3 I'm a Rainbow Dash fan, kind of a big one.

[NavelColt 22,876]

You said Dash so I'm in. :3 I'm a Rainbow Dash fan, kind of a big one.

 

Same, obviously Dashie is best pony. I'll let you know when it's posted, if you don't find it yourself.

[Tix 29]

I'm sure I'm wander across it but definatly, send me a message please. I keep weird hours so being kept up, I'd love to be informed so I hope thats a kind of arrangment we can make. You make Dash stories message me. :3

[Nas 2,863]

Might not have time to read it tonight, but tomorrow afternoon, my epic summer break starts, and this'll be up there in my first things to-do-list. Can't wait to read. 83

[NavelColt 22,876]

Might not have time to read it tonight, but tomorrow afternoon, my epic summer break starts, and this'll be up there in my first things to-do-list. Can't wait to read. 83

 

...Read it yet?

[Nas 2,863]

...Read it yet?

 

 

I shall read it nao! >:3

 

Wow....I just finished reading, and it is a fine piece of high-quality literary work.

 

The detail you provided made it more than easy to feel what the characters are feeling, and you describe the verbal actions with amazing vocabulary.

 

Oh, and it made my heart implode. Thanks a lot.

[NavelColt 22,876]

I shall read it nao! >:3

 

Wow....I just finished reading, and it is a fine piece of high-quality literary work.

 

The detail you provided made it more than easy to feel what the characters are feeling, and you describe the verbal actions with amazing vocabulary.

 

Oh, and it made my heart implode. Thanks a lot.

 

np ^^ Glad you like it <3

 

Thanks to some well-appreciated criticism from FIMFiction.Net, I've made some fixes to grammar mistakes, and expanded on an entire section around the mid-point of the story, that was utterly weak and contrived before, but is not any longer. So, to all those who still haven't read this piece of mine, it's finished, and I'm very pleased with it. Feedback is appreciated! <3

[Xievie 498]

Looks like a long fic! I'll read it by the end of tonight.

 

I can tell it'll be awesome!

[NavelColt 22,876]

Looks like a long fic! I'll read it by the end of tonight.

 

I can tell it'll be awesome!

 

Well, hope you enjoy it <3 It's very cute, I suspect you'll like it.

[Pinkie D Pie 1,035]

Well that was nice and a very intresting read. I quite enjoyed it.

[NavelColt 22,876]

Well that was nice and a very intresting read. I quite enjoyed it.

 

Very glad you did :3 Thanks for reading.

[ponyvangelist 732]

Great style! I love the prose. Given my current avatar, you can probably guess how I feel about the story.

 

[NavelColt 22,876]

Great style! I love the prose. Given my current avatar, you can probably guess how I feel about the story.

 

 

Glad you enjoyed it ^^ Glad to find another fan of these two being sisterly towards one another <3

[ponyvangelist 732]

I think there's great potential for more Scoot-Dash bonding in future episodes. Certainly there's plenty of ground already prepared for it by Seasons One and Two -- though I sometimes wince a bit at the way Dashie treats Scootaloo.

 

She often comes across more as a taunting older brother than a protective older sister, but then that's Rainbow for you.

 

Though it's carefully concealed behind layers of braggadocio, she does have a softer, more feminine side, and coaxing that out through interaction with Scootaloo would be an endearing way to grow both characters.

[NavelColt 22,876]

I think there's great potential for more Scoot-Dash bonding in future episodes. Certainly there's plenty of ground already prepared for it by Seasons One and Two -- though I sometimes wince a bit at the way Dashie treats Scootaloo.

 

She often comes across more as a taunting older brother than a protective older sister, but then that's Rainbow for you.

 

Though it's carefully concealed behind layers of braggadocio, she does have a softer, more feminine side, and coaxing that out through interaction with Scootaloo would be an endearing way to grow both characters.

 

Yeah, it's how Rainbow is. But at the same time, I feel if it was made more apparent to her how Scooaloo really sees how, and just how much she appreciates her, her more maternal side would kick in a bit more. Right now she brushes Scoot off half the time, because she's just another fangirl, at times. That'd take more than one episode though I think to really have it work out. To me, it'd be nice to have an entire episode all about Dash realizing that relationship between the two of them, maybe have a big daaaa'w moment at the end, and then, throughout Season 3 and onwards, in scenes you'll occasionally see things like Dash trying to teach Scoot how to fly, them just playing around, or maybe taking a nap together on a cloud; the subtle things that the show does really well with, to show that their characters are progressing.

[ponyvangelist 732]

Even without a dedicated episode, they could quietly develop the relationship in the background. Although the show does have a loose episodic format with no requirement for continuity, it does have arcs and threads that span episodes.

 

Seeing Dashie chilling out with Twilight in the library reading a Daring Do book during A Friend Indeed, for example, was a continuity nod, a nice bit of fan service and a clever way to slip her into an otherwise Pinkie-and-Twilight-only scene in an otherwise Pinkie-only episode.

 

They could do similar things with Rainbow and Scootaloo, as you mentioned. Just show them out flying a kite together or hoof-wrestling in the background while the spotlight is on some dialog or action by whoever the bulk of the episode is about. Just showing them together at all would reinforce the notion that they have some sort of relationship.

 

Rainbow was, after all, lurking around the CMC Clubhouse during the meeting of The Official Rainbow Dash Fan Club, so she's not oblivious to Scootaloo's feelings. And when Scootaloo jumped on the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well bandwagon, it was the unkindest cut of all for Rainbow.

 

Et tu, Scootaloo?

 

Meanwhile... Random Cuteness Attack!

 

 

No reason. Just felt like doing that.

[NavelColt 22,876]

Even without a dedicated episode, they could quietly develop the relationship in the background. Although the show does have a loose episodic format with no requirement for continuity, it does have arcs and threads that span episodes.

 

Seeing Dashie chilling out with Twilight in the library reading a Daring Do book during A Friend Indeed, for example, was a continuity nod, a nice bit of fan service and a clever way to slip her into an otherwise Pinkie-and-Twilight-only scene in an otherwise Pinkie-only episode.

 

They could do similar things with Rainbow and Scootaloo, as you mentioned. Just show them out flying a kite together or hoof-wrestling in the background while the spotlight is on some dialog or action by whoever the bulk of the episode is about. Just showing them together at all would reinforce the notion that they have some sort of relationship.

 

Rainbow was, after all, lurking around the CMC Clubhouse during the meeting of The Official Rainbow Dash Fan Club, so she's not oblivious to Scootaloo's feelings. And when Scootaloo jumped on the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well bandwagon, it was the unkindest cut of all for Rainbow.

 

Et tu, Scootaloo?

 

Meanwhile... Random Cuteness Attack!

 

 

No reason. Just felt like doing that.

 

Buck you pages, I did NOT want to leave the page <3 Just lost all my text and I'm not about to type it again.

 

Blah blah, I agree, I wrote a thing about what Rainbow might write to the Princess about her realizations about the relationship with Scoot, yadda yadda, but I can't find it.