Ask Princess Trollestia

[Batbrony 15,994]

Greetings minions!  It is I, your benevolent trollness, come to grace you with my presence!   OK, I lied, I really can't stand any of you ; the truth is, now that the "Twilight Princess hath cometh," I've got even less to do around Canterlot than I did before.  Little Ms. Hotshot-Princess thinks she's so special, and is constantly on the lookout for something new to do, but never any trolling!  Honestly, how can she pass up the opportunity to screw with anypony you desire to your heart's content when you have unlimited power and can't be prosecuted by the law?!?!   Just blows my mind I tell ya!  Blows my royal mind!  -_-

 

Anyways, things are boring around the castle, and I'm having a bit of a hard time coming up with new and unique ways to troll my subjects at the moment, so feel free to ask me any questions you desire, and maybe, just maybe, I will graciously respond!  Whatever you do though, don't be like that troll-student of mine; turd always sends me the same bucking picture of her and her friends every week!!!   Anypony thinks of pulling any funny business, and some filly's gonna get her flank sent to the moon, ya understand?!?! 

 

So ask away my faithful subjects!  I won't bite... much. 

 

Edited August 26, 2013 by Batbrony

[duidamasterXD 9,626]

Who do you think should be the next Tech Admin here? I'd nominate myself. This place would run... Swimmingly.

 

Also, are you making anymore princesses anytime soon? Not sure if my soul can survive it if you do.

[Concord 1,980]

Hi Mo!-....

 

Umm, have you been taking sugar again? :c

[Doctor Shuu 797]

Would you by any chance... be willing to make Muffin Thief royalty?

[Batbrony 15,994]

Who do you think should be the next Tech Admin here? I'd nominate myself. This place would run... Swimmingly.

 

Also, are you making anymore princesses anytime soon? Not sure if my soul can survive it if you do.

 

Well that's easy of course!  Whoever's most likely to burn these forums to the ground (either intentionally or unintentionally) should be the next Tech Admin; in fact, next Blank Flank to join the forums, make them the Tech Admin.  I can't see how that could possibly go wrong! 

 

Oh, and as for your second question, I was bored, OK, and that was the most fun I'd had in months!  You bronies have been so butt-hurt for the last few weeks, it's been just a riot!  Heck, that's why I also came up with the idea of sending those six ponies to that human world; you guys still haven't recovered from the shock of that little development!  

 

But seriously, what else am I supposed to do when I get a grand total of two letters all season, TWO LETTERS (AND NO, ONCE AGAIN THAT SAME PICTURE TWILITROLL SENDS ME EVERY WEEK DOES NOT COUNT! )!!!  I thought bringing Discord back would be more fun, but buck me, Doormatshy worked far quicker and more effectively than I EVER thought she would; seriously, she redeemed the god of Chaos in less than a day, are you bucking kidding me?  Geez, if I would've known it'd be that easy I wouldn't have kept him locked away for 1000 years!  We could've had so much fun trolling my subjects together.  Anyway, as long as I get all the attention next season, we should have no problem; however, if the only ponies who pay any attention to me next season are once again an apple-bucking country hick and a hyperactive pony who eats wayyyyyy more sugar than anypony should, I'll have no choice but to give a certain blue pegasi a horn and help "fulfill her destiny," ya dig? 

 

Good.  SO SEND ME MY LETTERS!!! 

 

Hi Mo!-....

 

Umm, have you been taking sugar again? :c

 

Ummm...

 

 

What?!?!  Don't judge me!!!    If every other pony can get away with it, why can't the all powerful ruler of Equestria, huh?

 

Would you by any chance... be willing to make Muffin Thief royalty?

 

Not if you turned out to be as annoying as our newest Princess!  I'm honestly starting to really regret making her a princess; I thought she was bad before with all the questions (I mean, why else do you think I sent her to Ponyville in the first place?), BUT NOW SHE NEVER STOPS!!!  It's always, "Princess Celestia, how do princesses sit?" or "Princess Celestia, how do princesses eat?" or "Princess Celestia, how do princesses go to the bathroom?"  AH, IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!    I really should've thought this through first, shouldn't I?  At the very least, knowing her  <_<, I should've at least made somepony put together a "How To Be A Princess" book beforehand.  That would certainly have kept her occupied for at least a day!    So yeah, sorry, but no new princesses anytime soon, I'm having a hard enough time as it is dealing with this one.

 

Oh gosh she's calling me again, "WHAT?  WHAT IS IT TWILIGHT?!?!"  Oh, seriously, she wants to know how princesses open doors!  *sigh*  Be right back everypony, apparently my "star pupil" left her brain in Ponyville when she got wings!

Edited February 17, 2013 by Batbrony

[Concord 1,980]

Ummm...

 

 

 

 

What?!?!  Don't judge me!!!    If every other pony can get away with it, why can't the all powerful ruler of Equestria, huh?

 

But... Mom... That's my birthday cake...

 

Sigh... I should call the Sugar exorcists again...

Edited February 17, 2013 by Concord

[Doctor Shuu 797]

Oh don't worry, Muffin Thief doesn't give a buck about "how princes/princesses behave". He will slouch, omnom to his heart's content, and pee in the woods!

[Batbrony 15,994]

Oh don't worry, Muffin Thief doesn't give a buck about "how princes/princesses behave". He will slouch, omnom to his heart's content, and pee in the woods!

 

 

Ummm... ew.   Just because I hate holding Twilight's hoof 24/7 doesn't mean I don't have standards!  But fine, knock yourself out, you can be Princess of the Everfree Forest for all I care; I think there's even an old castle out there for ya!  How's that sound? 

[Doctor Shuu 797]

Yay! MT has a kingdom! Say... do you know where MT can find a cannon powerful enough to send someone to the moon?

[Concord 1,980]

So are you going to get me a new cake?

[Batbrony 15,994]

Yay! MT has a kingdom! Say... do you know where MT can find a cannon powerful enough to send someone to the moon?

 

I have no idea what you're talking about.

 

 

So are you going to get me a new cake?

 

Nope. 

 

[Doctor Shuu 797]

Tell Muffin Thief. He can see through your miserable attempts at deception.

Edited February 17, 2013 by Muffin Thief

[Concord 1,980]

 

Nope. 

 

But mommy...

[Batbrony 15,994]

Tell Muffin Thief. He can see through your miserable attempts at deception.

 

Would you prefer I just send you to the moon instead?  No?  THEN QUIT ASKING!!! 

 

But mommy...

 

Why do you keep calling me mommy?  I don't have any kids, and trust me, I'D KNOW IF I DID!  Fine, I'll get you another cake, just stop calling me mommy; ponies are gonna start talking soon, and I can't stand royal gossip, at least when it revolves around me.  Sheesh.  <_<

 

 

 

There, ya happy?  Biggest cake I could find!  Now stop being weird!!! 

Edited February 17, 2013 by Batbrony

[Concord 1,980]

 

There, ya happy?  Biggest cake I could find!  Now stop being weird!!! 

 

 

I'll just come back when the troll side effects worn off!

[100 beasts kaidou 321]

Did you know theres an entire island of cake?

Its called Wholecake Island.

But It belongs to Charlotte LinLin

[Batbrony 15,994]

Did you know theres an entire island of cake?

Its called Wholecake Island.

But It belongs to Charlotte LinLin

 

Wholecake Island, you say?   Hmmm...

 

 

Rally to me my loyal subjects!  WE WILL CRUSH THIS CHARLOTTE LINLIN AND HER HORDES ON WHOLECAKE ISLAND, AND TAKE IT FOR OURSELVES!!!!!!!!!    Then we shall have all the cake we could ever desire!!!  MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! 

[Doctor Shuu 797]

 

 

Wholecake Island, you say? Hmmm...

Rally to me my loyal subjects! WE WILL CRUSH THIS CHARLOTTE LINLIN AND HER HORDES ON WHOLECAKE ISLAND, AND TAKE IT FOR OURSELVES!!!!!!!!! Then we shall have all the cake we could ever desire!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Not if the The Kingdom of Muffin Thief conquers it first!

[Batbrony 15,994]

Not if the The Kingdom of Muffin Thief conquers it first!

 

Good luck rallying a bunch of stupid, smelly animals to your cause!  HA!!! 

[Doctor Shuu 797]

 

Good luck rallying a bunch of stupid, smelly animals to your cause! HA!!!

MUFFINRAGE!!! *Punches down tree with hooves*

[100 beasts kaidou 321]

Big Mom: What did ya just say little Brat?!

[Batbrony 15,994]

Big Mom: What did ya just say little Brat?!

 

I said - HOLY CRAP, THAT IS ONE FUGLY MOTHERBUCKER!!!     Seriously, I've seen Diamond Dog droppings that looked more attractive than that!  And that... THING lives on that island?  Ewww... ya know, on second thought, she can keep it, I don't want any part of any place that's been tread on or inhabited for any extended period of time by... THAT!   *shudders*

Edited February 17, 2013 by Batbrony

[Doctor Shuu 797]

... Could Muffin Thief... take a peek at that book?

[Batbrony 15,994]

... Could Muffin Thief... take a peek at that book?

 

I'm afraid that after you so rudely turned down my offer (and on account of a sudden bizarre shortage of firewood at the castle), I had no choice but to use the only copy I had as fuel to heat my royal chambers.  Problem? 

 

[Doctor Shuu 797]

Muffin Thief will troll you now.

Where do rainbows come from?

Huh? Where. Do. Rainbows. Come. From?!?