My friend is missing and I don't know what to do

[Circadian 1,273]

I don’t know why I’m telling you all about this but a friend of mine has been missing for hours now and I don’t know what to do.

 

She’s an old teacher of mine that kept in touch over the years, and I know this sounds kind of weird, but she’s like family and I love her to death. I was supposed to meet her in this stupid little town for a festival the locals throw every year and now nobody can find her anywhere. I didn't even want to go to this stupid thing in the first place, but she insisted I go out and try to meet people instead of sitting at home reading.

 

She doesn't have a cell phone because she insists on communicating with nothing but handwritten mail. That seems kind of outdated, right? Anyway, it's our thing and I humor her because I think it's funny but now it's a serious problem because nobody can get ahold of her. 

 

The police are a complete non-entity out in this backwater shit hole and I’m afraid of what will happen to her by the time the any real search gets underway. I need some serious advice because I think I know who did it.

 

There are some others I met who also think some messed up shit went down and we're about to go out looking for some answers.

 

Most people don't know it, but my friend has a pretty fucked up past and I think it finally caught up with her. She's got this psychotic younger sister that absolutely hates her guts. I only mention this because she showed up at the party tonight and said some threats that leads me to believe she has something to do with it.

 

So anyway, the only way to stop her younger sister is by using these artifacts called the Elements of Harmony, but we have no idea where to find them or if they even still exist.

Edited May 8, 2013 by Circadian

[Mephala 2,633]

Oh my god you glorious troll you. I just died laughing because my friend was getting really upset about this and then she got really angry at the end. (She's gullible.)

 

Doesn't this go in Forum Lounge, though? And the Sun festival thing is important!

 

(Sorry for backseat mod.)

Edited May 7, 2013 by Morrigan Aensland

[Pinkamena Dianne Pie 465]

Wow. I was getting so upset the further I read down the page, until I read the end the end. O_o You had me going there. Props on the excellent trolling.

[Nightraxx 130]

Lmao, i was already wondering why this hasn't been posted into the Life Advice section.

At first i was like   then i went   and in the end i think i was like

 

Edited May 8, 2013 by coolwar13@yahoo.de

[Savato 23]

Holy fudge!

That is definitely one of the greatest trollings in the history of mass-media.

Here, have an internet. You deserve it.

[Sazama Ichida 2,352]

I'll be honest with you. Your chances of finding her are pretty slim. But maybe try hiring a detective if you can afford it? That might help.

[Harmonic Revelations 8,833]

Mysterious rituals? Unfriendly locals?

 

Is the town named Innsmouth? Because if it is, you are screwed,and I cannot help you, sir.

 

That is all.

[Milk Wave 454]

This was one of the few things that got me at first. Here's my reactions:

 

At first, I was like:

 

Then after a little while I was like:

 

Then by the end I was like:

 

Then when I finally read the comments I was like:  

 

Edited May 7, 2013 by 1_0_4_3268764 0 OK 0

[WingMcCallister 367]

If the elements fail, you can always rustle up a mob and get some pitchforks. Those always work well. Don't forget the torches either.

[Circadian 1,273]

I didn't even want to go to this stupid thing in the first place, but she insisted I go out and try to meet people instead of sitting at home reading.

 

PS: This was really fun to write! I hope you all got some amusement out of it.

Edited May 8, 2013 by Circadian

[Bunches 81]

Bahahahahahahaha this totally got me all worked up and now I'm dying of laughter. Props for excellent (and appropriate) trolling !! I am impressed. XD

[. eris . 1,661]

 

I don’t know why I’m telling you all about this but a friend of mine has been missing for hours now and I don’t know what to do.

 

She’s an old teacher of mine that kept in touch over the years, and I know this sounds kind of weird, but she’s like family and I love her to death. I was supposed to meet her in this stupid little town for a festival the locals throw every year and now nobody can find her anywhere. I didn't even want to go to this stupid thing in the first place, but she insisted I go out and try to meet people instead of sitting at home reading.

 

She doesn't have a cell phone because she insists on communicatting with nothing but handwritten mail. That seems kind of outdated, right? Anyway, it's our thing and I humor her because I think it's funny but now it's a serious problem because nobdody can get ahold of her. 

 

The police are a complete non-entity out in this backwater shit hole and I’m afraid of what’ll happen to her by the time the any real search gets underway. I need some serious advice because I think I know who did it.

 

There are some others I met who also think some messed up shit went down and we're about to go out looking for some answers.

 

Most people don't know it, but my friend has a pretty fucked up past and I think it finally caught up with her. She's got this psychotic younger sister that absolutely hates her guts. I only mention this because she showed up at the party tonight and said some threats that leads me to belive she has something to do with it.

 

So anyway, the only way to stop her younger sister is by using these artifacts called the Elements of Harmony, but we have no idea where to find them or if they even still exist.

 

 

 

 

 

Circadian, you silly billy goat! I knew one of these days you'd get me all worked up over nothing!!

 

Props for completely entertaining trolling, however. <3 Trolls, take note - that's how you troll convincingly.

[Rain Dance 131]

When reading this, i was starting to think about innsmouth, really. You bloody troll started to freak me out and all. It actually started to feel like some kind of movie shiaat.

[Sky Warden 2,243]

I'll be honest with you. Your chances of finding her are pretty slim. But maybe try hiring a detective if you can afford it? That might help.

I'm not sure if this guy is serious or not.

 

By the way, I have an idea to help you find her. Keep asking on the Internet. It will help.

[Friendship_Cannon 1,676]

*slowly claps*

 

Well done, well done. I´d lift ma hat if I had one...

 

Too bad I read one or two commenst before reading the actual post, but still...

 

  => => =>   => 

[Mr Dash 1,818]

 

 

At first I was like, hmm...could be legit, but then I was like, this doesn't seem right. Then I was like, skip a paragraph and click on the spoiler. Then I was all like....I get it now. Then I finished the story. Nice troll. You almost got me at first.

[Circadian 1,273]

I'll be honest with you. Your chances of finding her are pretty slim. But maybe try hiring a detective if you can afford it? That might help.

 

I'm going out on a limb here, but do you think it might have something to do with her being the quasi-immortal deity of a fictional ponyverse?

 

At first I was like, hmm...could be legit, but then I was like, this doesn't seem right. Then I was like, skip a paragraph and click on the spoiler. Then I was all like....I get it now. Then I finished the story. Nice troll. You almost got me at first.

 

 

You must be so proud.

Edited May 8, 2013 by Circadian

[Mr Dash 1,818]

 

 

You must be so proud.

I'm proud of not being proud, if that makes any sense... Anywho, you really did almost get me. If I hadn't skipped ahead and checked the spoiler you would of had me fooled until I finished the story, but I jumped the gun. And it almost sounded like something from a movie. I say It is a well done troll post. My hat's off to you, that is, if I was wearing a hat.

[Scootalove 10,684]

Well, I'll be damn. I read the whole thing feeling sympathy, but I guess when your getting trolled the sympathy almost wears off. I guess people are going to say that Batman brings bat snacks with him.

 

[Circadian 1,273]

 

 

I'm proud of not being proud, if that makes any sense... Anywho, you really did almost get me. If I hadn't skipped ahead and checked the spoiler you would of had me fooled until I finished the story, but I jumped the gun. And it almost sounded like something from a movie. I say It is a well done troll post. My hat's off to you, that is, if I was wearing a hat.

 

Okay. Your first post just seemed really condescending.

 

Well, I'll be damn. I read the whole thing feeling sympathy, but I guess when your getting trolled the sympathy almost wears off. I guess people are going to say that Batman brings bat snacks with him.

 

The problem I'm sure to run into down the line is when I make an actual genuine post like this nobody will believe I'm being serious.

Edited May 8, 2013 by Circadian

[Jokuc 8,172]

Oh you! When I started to read I was like.. What the...?

 

Later on I became worried and felt bad..

 

And then I was like.. +ONE MILLION INTERNETZ!

 

[. eris . 1,661]

The problem I'm sure to run into down the line is when I make an actual genuine post like this nobody will believe I'm being serious.

 

Exactly. So the day you set foot in the Life Advice forum, we'll throw you out on your rump and let you rot. No hard feelings, Circe. <3

[Meirno 550]

Wow, I was starting to feel really horrible for you DX It makes it feel so much more personal when you put it like that, though. To imagine how Twili felt about it.

 

Very good troll. Very good. Very.

 

 

10 POINTS FOR SLYTHERIN! 

[Sir.Flutter Hooves 2,953]

Seems like reddit got ahold of this:http://www.reddit.com/r/mylittlepony/comments/1e0vd0/my_friend_is_missing_and_i_dont_know_what_to_do/

 

Preety funny they put it on their website. You made this up right? It's funny that a huge website would get you're project and use it on thier site.

 

Congrats!

Edited May 10, 2013 by Sir.Flutter Hooves

[Circadian 1,273]

 

 

Preety funny they put it on their website. You made this up right? It's funny that a huge website would get you're project and use it on thier site.

 

It's always nice to see a fellow redditor! I posted this to reddit shortly after I posted it here and it got a bigger response over there. Probably because there are more people.