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Happy being single?


Discolt

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I'm single. Both of my brothers are not. It kind of makes me feel sad for being single when I see how happy they both are because they're taken and in love. Maybe one day, I'll find my special someone. And maybe I'll be forever alone. You never know.

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Hey look, I'm the first person in this thread who speak who has a relationship! And of course, I'm going to say something positive about it. Whoa, I'm so different.

 

Personally, and this is just my impression (I'm not saying all of you are like this)... when someone says they're happy being single, they usually either haven't had a good relationship and are tainted by bad experiences, have never had a relationship at all, they're actually unhappy about being single and just saying that to compensate for the fact that they are, or have just had "blah" relationships that aren't really all that significant.

 

Of course, I acknowledge that there are people who were made to be single in this world and are truly happy without relationships, but I think such persons are... far and few inbetween. As a species, humans are kind of designed to have relationships with one another. Especially relationships of that manner. This is why so many people seek it out. It's just natural. (I'm not saying you're not natural if you don't desire a relationship, again, I'm just saying it's common to. Although to be in a relationship for the sake of not being in one is definitely not all right.)

 

For my opinion on it: I had always been bowled over by visions of love and romance in media. Since I was young, I had desired this sort of love. Not just from romantic relationships though; from platonic relationships and friends. I had always searched for a relationship where someone could just love me and we could be connected and close... and was jealous of other's relationships. So no, I'm not ever happy when I'm single.

 

I've only had two in my entire life, and this is my second. I lack experience on these matters, but my first one and my horrid experiences with friendships/people in general were disasterous enough for me to see that maintaining a MEANINGFUL relationship of ANY sort, romantic or platonic, is hard work. I can understand why people would not want to do that as I myself tried to stay away from getting close to people period at several points in my life.

 

Now that I'm in a relationship though... I can honestly say that I am the happiest I've ever been. The things that are most rewarding are the things that are the hardest to find, and the hardest you have to work at. I was lonely for such a long time, with very few friends to even speak to or care for me. Most of them had disappeared.

 

My relationship has satiated my loneliness, by not just giving me love... but one of the best friends I've ever had. My boyfriend is also one of my best friends, and a person I trust completely. I think of him as a very close friend first, and a lover second. I think that's what makes it work for me. Truly, to have someone to hold you when you're crying as he has, to understand your emotional oddities, to show you affection the likes of which you've never been shown... it has changed me completely as a person and allowed me to grow from my psychological issues to become a bit of a confident and better person. I've never improved so much. And I have a strong feeling that we're meant to be. Which sounds cheesy and cliched, but honesty... I've never been affected in such a way by another human being.

 

But this is just my experience with my relationship with him. I think a relationship like that is honestly hard to come by. It's not that being in a relationship is better than being single. That's not what I'm trying to get across. It's being a RIGHT and GOOD relationship is. Relationships are all different because different sets of people are involved, and thus have different dynamics. In summary, it's about what's best for YOU.

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like Aryl, i'm also in a relationship. and no, i honestly can't say i was that happy when i still was single.

this is a story i've brought forth a number of times before, but it doesn't hurt to recap it once more:

 

it started back in fall of 2010. i had just begun senior high-school, and i was not well, not well at all.

let me tell you something at first: i never once cared about friends or relationships prior that time. for as long as i lived, i didn't have a single friend, ever. and i was perfectly content with that. i was perfectly content having my family, and sitting inside playing video-games, as opposed to hanging out with friends. my anxiety might have played a big role of that: i actively sought solitude, because i found it a lot better than actually socializing with friends. like i said, i had my family, so why would i need any friends at all?

 

but that all changed the fall of 2010. i don't know why, but it just... got to me. it finally struck me that i was all alone, that i had no friends, that i was unable to make them.

 

and thus, i entered the darkest period of my life.

 

i was depressed, depressed as shit. i didn't go to school for weeks, and i vented about my problems on a forum, in hope to get just SOME kind of reaction, just anything, that would justify my very own being.

 

and no one cared.

except one person.

 

there was one person on that whole rotten POS that were decent enough to show me any kind of compassion towards how i felt. to the point that he PMed me about it, and said i could talk to him about anything that would have bothered me. i kindly declined back then, saying that it would prolly get better on later, but i kept it in mind. finally, there was someone out there that actually cared about me, i felt, someone i could trust talking to about anything.

 

in hindsight, he was my first close-friend i made.

 

i didn't answer him with my problems until in January. which led to me finding out a lot of things i had no idea about myself at all.

 

... i'm just dragging this out, am i not? i'll just cut to the chase here: thanks to his pursuing, i discovered my passion for music, which made my life a lot more brighter, a lot more clearer, about who i was, as a person. eventually, we jokingly came in on the subject of love which, unbeknowst to me then, led to something much, much more.

 

and that's how realized what my sexuality was, as i fell in love with Feather Spiral.

 

but good lord, i am straying at this subject.

okay, so tl;dr: no, i was never happy about being single, as it reminds me of my darkest periods of my life. i'm much more happy in a relationship than i ever was before, as it led me to discover a LOT of things i never knew about me before.

 

there, my senseless rambling is done. whether you care about my experience being single or not.

 

On 2/26/2012 at 9:39 PM, 'RippedOffMattress' said:

I try to think of all of the negative aspects of having a girlfriend, in attempt to keep happy about it.

But I still often feel lonely.

 

But is being 15, and in the 8th grade considered too early for a couple?

 

it's never too early to become a couple, as long as both parts love each other enough and are enough dedicated towards each other. likewise, it's never too late, either. as the saying goes: love knows no boundaries. otherwise, it wouldn't have turned me into the flaming gay that i am today. :P

Edited by Viscra Maelstrom
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Watch out y'all, we've got a playa playa on the forums! :lol:

 

Totally! I could show you pictures of all the girls I've been with, but I don't want to spoil my identity or theirs for that matter :I
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I am very happily married.

 

When I was single, though, I was always happy being single. I never felt like I "needed" a boyfriend to be happy or anything. There were many Valentines in which I was single, but I still loved Valentines Day. I would buy cute childish Valentines and hand them out to everyone XD or make certain sweets and distribute them freely. When I was single I always enjoyed hanging out with friends - boys and girls - and the "freedom" of being able to get to know different people with plenty of quality time. If a guy asked me out, I would not accept unless I knew him very well and he was already a friend. Dating is just getting to know people on a higher level than friendship. If it doesn't work out, so what? Not that person. Go back to being friends and move on.

 

One friend in particular, the more and more I learned about him, the more and more I liked, respected, admired, etc. We became best friends, then started dating two years after we had been super best friends (I asked him ^_^) and now we are happily married :D

 

I'm definitely not going to say that it is better to be in a relationship than being single. But if you happen to come across a person that you always love to be around, that always loves to be around you, and there is mutual caring about each other, and both of you want to spend the rest of your lives together whether married or not - that is certainly nice.

 

I have met some people that never intend to marry and would like the 'freedom' to do whatever they like for the rest of their lives, and all I can say to that is to each his/her own :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

I enjoy being single. Yes i never had a relationship,what i don't lack is friends. *wording sounds funny not sure on what to fix* any who, i have a healthy friendship with many women that i feel is better than if i were to be in a relationship with them. I feel the people you have as friends are much closer because you can do what you please and act like for example just like one of the guys around them. (Decent example) I'm not saying burping and men stuff i mean like the humor and how you can talk ebout any one and still make it fun with out all the awkward moments. Your not restricted to who you talk to and your able to flirt with who ever you please with out it being weird. And could just be for the lolz.

 

So like i stated in another thread I enjoy being single and i enjoy the benefits that come with being just friends.

 

But if a relationship were to emerge why not.

 

:D

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Are you currently single, and are you happy being single?

Yes and yes.

 

At a young age and the people I've seen get into pointless and stressful relationships I don't see a single point. Most do it in my area just because it's 'cool'.

 

I'm waiting until everyone is of a mature age to actually be in a relationship.

  • Brohoof 1
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I'm not single but I find single life to be fine. Either or doesn't bother me really. Though I do get lonely a lot since I only have my mum and not any real friends outside of my computer.

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I'm single and I don't really know whether or not I'm happy about being so. I guess sometimes I feel a bit lonely since I don't talk to people a lot outside of my computer. But I've never had a girlfriend, so I can't really compare what it's like being single to being in a relationship.

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I try to learn from the examples of others, and I've seen a lot of stupid crap that shouldn't exist in a relationship actually happen between two people. That's so far been enough to sour my opinion on members of the opposite sex who live around here, to the point where I don't even bother with romantic relationships whatsoever.

 

I suppose if the 'right one' practically fell into my lap I'd consider it, but I'm sure as hell not looking.

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Single and miserable! I moved to a new town to get my career going so I have no friends, no wife - just my two cats. I have the desire for more cats but then I will surely wind up as a crazy cat man surrounded by my many cats.

 

My old friends are scattered throughout the country now and it does not help that, when I do talk to them, all they have to talk about are their wives and now their beautiful children. I feel I can no longer relate to them.

 

I am scared I am going to wind up being an old parent. I am even more scared that I will never marry or have children.

 

I know I shouldn't be this way but I am bitter at my career - I have lost many a good girlfriend due to moving around. I know that is dumb because plenty of people in my same situation managed to find a spouse that would follow them wherever they needed to go. I also know that plenty of people marry later in life but I have this terrible feeling that my time is running out.

 

Maybe I've said too much... sorry to be a downer. :(

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Single... I don't mind it but I wish I was in a relationship.

 

It's nice but too stressful, or at least the ones I've been in have been.

 

Actually just asked someone yesterday and she said she only saw me as a really good friend. *shrug*

 

Though getting in one now is kinda pointless, as I'm going off to college in 4 and a half months

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yes I'm single and although it can be lonely at times I've gotten sort of used to it, I used to have lots of friends in Waterloo but we had to move because my school sucked and we wanted a change, I made a fair amount of friends in Kitchener but they've all moved away, also from what I've heard from my brother, cousin, and very few acquaintances at school relationships suck, the odds of finding the right girl are too low

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Single... I don't mind it but I wish I was in a relationship.

 

It's nice but too stressful, or at least the ones I've been in have been.

 

Actually just asked someone yesterday and she said she only saw me as a really good friend. *shrug*

 

Though getting in one now is kinda pointless, as I'm going off to college in 4 and a half months

 

Just make sure to find someone in college. Don't think, "well, what's the point - I'll have to move in four years." If you go to medical school, don't think, "well, what's the point, I'll have to move in four years." And then... "internship, what's the point, I'll have to move in one year." And then, "residency... what's the point, I'll have to move in three years." Otherwise, you will end up JUST LIKE ME!

 

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