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web Your opinion of online dating sites


Katana

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So I did find one other thread in this forum that mentioned online relationships, as in having a loving girlfriend that you've only ever played Everquest with and only meet at conventions. But this topic is a little different:

 

Here, I'm mainly referring to the type of site that you use to find someone that fits your "profile", and then arrange meetings with them based on nothing but fields on a profile.

 

As a kid, through cultural absorbtion, I came under the opinion that online dating sites, like clubs, and many other "arranged" forms of meeting people for romance, tend to end in failure - both participants are actively searching for a relationship with some longing expectations, and an all-too-high likelihood that they'll accept something that wasn't "meant to be". The strongest relationships tend to come from people who weren't expecting it, or didn't even really have an idea of what to look for. ("Well, I never would have considered a master of pottery as a partner, but...wow!")

 

As some more people I know and respect have turned to those sites, I've kind of wondered if it's time to re-evaluate my viewpoint. I tend to spend time on the internet because it's harder to form relationships in real life - not because I value online communication over personal communication. Still, I'm wondering if the fact that you eventually meet in person means it could end in something special.

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To me I don't really approve of them that much as for the fact that it can get a little over hand even though at first you think its safe. Its online so you don't know what she/he looks like and can be quite dangerous if you might seem to trust them alot and think they're not harmful at all and than suddenly they turn out to not what they seem to be but people can choose to online date if they want to take the risk I guess.

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It more often then not ends in failure and lose of currency when it comes to online dating sites. Most are structured to be more of a "hook up" site, than a place for legitimate relationships, as you must summarize an entire person, and put them on a online market akin to ebay. So while a few legitimate long standing relationships have come from online meetings, very few come from the online meat markets known as dating sites.

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I have nothing against the idea of dating sites as there are a lot of people who are single and interesting in meeting someone which is understandable but a lot of these dating sites are kind of a ripoff.

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It's becoming increasingly common for people to shun others in social situations. Both because people are becoming more reclusive but also because people are becoming more obsessed with other portions of their lives from entertainment to work to the point that romance just doesn't seem to fit into their lives. You can never tell who these people are by looking at them. Dating sites eliminate that prerequisite as everyone on there is looking for a date, casual or otherwise.

 

So in that sense it makes it easier for some people to find a good match.

 

And it's not even about rejection. Most people can take rejection well enough. It's when people are told they are creepy for asking someone out at random or are told that "even though we get along I don't want to date you"

 

These situations may not be new but they are becoming far more common in this day and age where productivity is a must in some people's lives.

Edited by Discordian
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Even though it works sometimes, I never feel like I should use the Internet to form a love life. I'd rather meet the person first-hand by chance in real life first, then continue things online. It's more of a personal preference than anything.


Plus, I have a hard time trusting the profile. I am often a worrywort, so I don't want to risk not meeting the exact person I saw online.


I can't really say anything that hasn't been said already.


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I might give one a try now that I'm single again. I don't really expect much from it. I mean it's not easy ignoring someone who approaches you irl burning cam see being ignored a lot online.

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I'm going to review my experiences with online dating, which I no longer do.

 

I had some really shit dates. I had one guy that I couldn't get away from. After saying I wasn't interested, and physically walking away, he called me as soon as I was in my car. I took a really long way home, just to make sure he didn't follow me.

 

Every single person I met online smoked pot, which is something I'm not into, except two. Also, several guys I met lied about smoking cigarettes. As an asthmatic, it's difficult for me to be around any sort of smoke.

 

I was lied to many times, prepositioned for one night stands more times than I could count, etc, etc.

 

I could go on for a very long time about what went wrong.

 

However, I also met my husband online. We've been together now about three years, and everything is going really well. He shares my ideals, we have a lot in common, he has a fantastic sense of humor, and we're working on having kids soon. But to find him I also had to wade through a lot of crap both online and in person. I don't believe in "the one", because I think the concept is a bit dismal, but my life has changed significantly for the better because of him, and that seems to be an upward trend that doesn't seem to have an end soon. Not to mention he's hot as hell. Teehee.

 

Is it for everyone? Nope. Will everyone who looks online find what their looking for? Nuh-uh. The way I see it, I got damn lucky to find someone so supportive, caring and all around a great fit for me. So take from that what you will.

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Basically, I think that online dating sites are fine, in theory.  I have no problem with them.  I think it could be a viable way to find a relationship.  From a web development standpoint, I think eH stands head and shoulders above the other sites I've tried.  But the problem with all of them, for me anyway, is just a lack of matches.  I'm a tough person to match.  If your requirements aren't as specific and particular, you might have better luck.  But I think with online dating, it's basically like running an rng game, hoping for that ridiculously rare drop.  I guess what I'm saying is the odds are against you, but it's not the website's fault.  Anyway, I have no objection to the idea at all.  Online dating is probably my only hope of ever finding anyone.  But to say it's a long shot is an understatement.  But if you're thinking of trying it, then go for it.  You have nothing to lose.

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I have a friend who met her husband through an online dating site and know of a couple of others who got into good relationships.  I personally am a little wary of them because you can lie about yourself and you never really know what you are getting into.  Always meet at a public place and go in separate cars.  Be aware and be careful.  But have an open mind.  It does work for people.

Edited by Diva Pony
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I don’t like them. It’s much safer and efficient to meet people personally in hopes to pursue a reltionship.

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Well online dating could and could not work I mean it's just like real life lol especially if you DO get to meet them lol people can lie to you straight to your face so imagine online, but also there IS honest people online, so yeah! As long as you take good precautions (just n case the person didn't turn out to be a kidnapper or something) then you're good!

I personally dislike it because I'm a visual person and I like reading people's body language, I mean it's hard "reading" their body language AND face expression through text.

 

Also I don't even want to date I don't want to be associated with couple-love anymore it drives me nuts and nowadays people only get into relationships either for competition, to be "cool", just for sex, because they feel alone (as in completely alone when they DO have friends), because their self esteem is low and they want to feel pretty, or for their own selfish reasons of satisfaction regardless on how the other person feels, I mean, I do know there's people that genuinely love but see that's the thing when you truly love someone or care about someone you do think of their well being and lots of people say and ACT like they care because they want to "appear" as a good person AND even praise themselves for being nice which makes them, in reality, to be selfish

 

Also I don't believe in long distance relationships sorry to each his own it works for some people just not for me. I don't trust people that much or that easy

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My opinion I dislike them highly, but I really do not judge others who do it, but...you just got to think...sometimes its all a lie and it can be dangerous.

 

I admit, back in Middle school I did online dating because no one would date me, because, I do admit, I was an ugly duckling and di dnot take care of myself too well. Anyways, I actually dated this guy for awhile and it never worked out...lies and lies and lies. I also NEVER could see him.

 

I mean, I understand you can be lonely and no one in your area wants you, but like...you never see them (unless its over skype, face time, oovoo, etc.) you cannot go out on dates, you cannot hug them or kiss them or anything. I...just don't like them, but if you want to date online, go ahead.

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I've tried dating sites and I thought this would help my shyness.

 

The men I've talked to were jerks and they would think of sex. So, I gave up on the online dating sites. It's not worth it (even though I live in a small town). I'm sure the right guy will come along.  I had this one guy asked me on a dating site about a friend of mine, "Is your friend single?" I'm like, "Hello? I didn't create a profile for my friends."

 

 

My aunt tried a dating from the paper once and she went out with the guy and the guy scammed her and took all her money.

 

Just follow your gut feelings. Boy, do I follow my gut feelings. :)

Edited by MontanaDash
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Not good. The person you date could be anyone, ranging from serial killers to trolls, and I’d rather meet a partner in real life since it’s easier to know whom they are.

 

Then again, I never tried online dating, so I wouldn’t know exactly what it’s like to date someone online… :P

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I've tried dating sites and I thought this would help my shyness.

 

The men I've talked to were jerks and they would think of sex. So, I gave up on the online dating sites. It's not worth it (even though I live in a small town). I'm sure the right guy will come along.  I had this one guy asked me on a dating site about a friend of mine, "Is your friend single?" I'm like, "Hello? I didn't create a profile for my friends."

 

 

My aunt tried a dating from the paper once and she went out with the guy and the guy scammed her and took all her money.

 

Just follow your gut feelings. Boy, do I follow my gut feelings. :)

Wow, that's really sad. That's another reason I don't use dating websites. Seems like nobody is there actually looking for a decent relationship.

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Wow, that's really sad. That's another reason I don't use dating websites. Seems like nobody is there actually looking for a decent relationship.

 

On my aunt? I think my mom told me about this of my dad's big sister. It's sad that people will use people. :(

 

Yeah, some of the men were pushy and I don't like that all. I wanted to try Match.com. It's just way over priced.

Edited by MontanaDash
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Have never tried one, though I'm personally a person that beliefs in fate. So I feel like a relationship should just come to you. But for those of us who aren't really looking for one and are shy. Socially awkward and possibly not the best looking. It just doesn't come to you like it does for many people so you have to put yourself out there. I think online is not a worse place then any other.

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  • 5 years later...

I personally wouldn't use it, but i believe it can work out great, most of people there are just someone trying to find someone to be partner or even be friends if doesn't works out. And anything that helps friendship twilight approves :P now if it is going to last long it really depends. Being realistic most of the relations dont get to take 4 years. But that is not problem of the site, its more fault of the humans. So if u want a partner to snuggle, then why not, just ask for the first encounter to be somewhere public and all like a restaurant, not in his/her house . Also its better if u are over 18 

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