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They call me Loyalty

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About They call me Loyalty

  • Birthday 1989-12-06

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    I tried to be perfect, but no one was worthy.

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  1. Hope you are doing well out there - wherever you are in life. :coco::hug_day:

  2. "To be or not to be". Oh, the irony of this quote given its context.
  3. Good. I was explaining my family that the damaged state of this house is because of the internal resistance that is occurring within them, even subconsciously. Given our origins as people of the wilds. I am proud of my mother. She is a born hooker, in the way he rips and tears prey. Like she did with granny when she fashioned the ideology she was given into a weapon and used it to crucify her adoptive family. The same way I was always a hunter, but my family was broken. Still, we cannibalized them regardless. Since everything becomes a weapon in my sight. Even religion, which is an ideological weapon already. That is the purpose of this slow sacrifice I am commiting to. So they can die with their dignity intact. Free. For the blood of our ancestors and because I owe this to that little girl. So, here were are, keeping up with the show. Cookies for everyone!!! Yay!
  4. Even if I am aware you are faking that answer. You can have all the money in the world and still be miserable, like some of my old relatives, who filled their empty lives with materialism. The real prison is inside the mind most of the time. Sometimes because of people causing damage to others, like it happened to my mother. I do not leave my house, not because I am a prisoner, but because I am free. And because I've known myself and my purpose since I was born. Our endogamic origins, the difference that it makes for people like us within this social context, the charade that has been orchestrated around us. The lies from the rest of the family. And the psychological damage that resulted from interfering with our nature. But more importantly, I know that my mother needs me. Because of what I previously explained. So, I cannot leave her. And that is enough reason to stay inside this house every single day, even if it means I am losing my own life. Because that is what love means, sacrifice. And it doesn't mean that I cannot get angry, or irrational. But everything I have done since the beginning was to keep her alive, despite the fact that she complains about this life because she was robbed from herself without her knowledge. She is the only reason I am still enduring this sh*t show, even when knowing my life is essentially over. Because I know myself. But she does not. Because that was taken from her. That is the reason she is lost, and I have to stay here to see her suffer over someone without a future. Which is the reason I considered "harm", because she is already being harmed by her mental state. And remember, it never works to tell someone who is angry to not be angry. Useful advice for a change. Stay well, huggies.
  5. The harm to my family is already done. Othewise you wouldn't be here trying to ease your conscience. But I still love her like the first day. Nothing has changed. If anything, this pain is a proof of that love. Despite how much she was forced to change, to reject herself based on "better looking people". To "fix" her teeth and to hate her own body. When she was always perfect to me. And then she was "taught" to hate her own nature because of doctrine, which caused the separation from her maternal instinct, which then caused damage to her son. But my love has not changed. And I am still trying to protect her, because she is now vulnerable because of what they did. So, even something like death would be a mercy compared to what the world is capable of doing to a person in her state of mind. Nothing that can be said or done will replace the family we lost. So, a more honest answer would be to pay respectful silence here. Because you can only hurt yourself at this point. Especially with such empty words.
  6. Decemeber... Celestia. But it makes sense, considering it is summer here during that time of the year.
  7. Same. She rejected the truth once again under the pretext that she is going to repair our future. And I promised her that she is gonna have no future as long as she continues to reject the truth. So, nothing to say. My mother says to hate the rest of the family, but she continues to act on their false premises and religious bs. Which is exactly what got us into this limbo, as well as other interferences. But it doesn't matter. Because she owes herself this dignity. Because she has insulted our blood. And because the truth in that blood is heavier than all the lies the rest of the world told to her. Which are also the source of her misery. Do you think it is an act of cruelty for animals to sacrifice their offspring? Or love, mercy and wisdom. My mother used to have a heart like that. And I know it is still there, but the rest of the famliy numbed that wisdom. Which then caused harm to us. And that is the reason they ended like that. So, yeah. Same as always. I am still bound by her rejection of the truth. But I have assumed the role of an anchor. And I will bring her down to reality. Even if I have to destroy all we have. Which is pointless. Because we have nothing in reality. My regards. I hope you and your families are doing good.
  8. It is not the destination that is the problem but the origin that was lost. There are good reasons I have lived for twenty years inside this house like a "mental patient". My family - they sold out. They betrayed our blood. They betrayed me. And I lost my sister because of that, and with her my future and the possibility to create a family of my own, which is the foundation every other aspect of life is built upon. That is the reason I am showing "ADHD", depressive, addictive and self-destructive behaviour since childhood. These disorders are simply the result of an animal that is suffering because his natural purpose was taken away. That is the reason I am in this sorry state. Take the family from someone else,"human" or otherwise. And you will see what happens. So, my family is not leaving this house. I am taking them with me. Because even if she doesn't have the heart it takes to recognize the truth that she denied me. Every single action of hers is expressed like a compulsion to cover up that painful emptiness where my family and hers should be. She is too much of a coward to accept she is already dead, or even the damage that she is still doing to me, because she wants to keep "alive". I needed a mating partner of my own blood. That is the reason I am naturally repulsed towards canditates outside this group. "Something is wrong". "Where is my sister". Repeating inside of me since I have memory. So, considering they have killed me in life. I am going to do the same in return. And it is not going to be like in my dreams. Visceral and merciful. It is going to be a slow process according to their new laws. But it is going to be the same, just dragged out and pointlessly misserable. And I have told them this already, very clearly. If they try to leave this house. I gut them where they stand. This is the real reason I am doing all this. Because the blood inside of me is pointing at my own mother, and saying "guilty". But allow me a firearm with two munitions of sufficient caliber. And I promise on my honor, that I leave this life. But I cannot do that as long as she is still alive. Because of that betrayal, and because of the love that I have for the family I lost. They are waiting for me on the other side. This hurts... but she doesn't want to recognize the truth. Because she has no honor. So, she would rather see me suffering like a mental cripple, instead of giving up her life so she can release her son. And we both suffer now, without reason or future to live for. Despite all this. I still love her, because she is my mother. But this love requires a mutual agreement to release our lives from this binding. That is the reason I don't leave my house. That there is no reason. My request is fair and merciful. My offer, is the truth.
  9. Boiling water to make a hot water bottle and go to sleep all warm and cozy. A good morning's rest to all.
  10. Most of the triple A titles since 2014. Because I have a toaster. And I will probably kick the bucket before I can play them. But hey! Another reason to be reborn, right?
  11. Gravita. Sister to electra and magnetica. She is the balancing force within this elemental triad. I've been putting some thought into that fanfiction I mentioned about the original elements. Not something I will ever finish, but it is still fun to entertain the idea. And here is one of the concepts that is higher, and at the same time lower in the hierarchy of elements. In theory, these beings do not possess cutie marks because they are living cutie marks in a way. And the confluence of their essences create the myriad of talents that the world of equestria was endowed with after their sacrifice to form it, during the end of the chaos wars.
  12. Honestly. Just drive the subtle knife in and let the vitality flow. Welcome foggy. And may you find this place adaptable to your vampiric needs. And remember, a taunt, even one that is disguised. Always earns one a cut and a sip. So, thank you.
  13. Every single snoot. To honor the snoots of every user who graced this forum with their talent, or their mere participiation. For those gone, for those who are still here, and for those in the uncertain future. Thank you very much. Now, let us caress this metaphorical snoot. And find refuge within its nostrils, for its breath is the collective spirit of this amazing community. Sorry... I had to do it. The mental image of people building houses inside a giant nose was too tempting. But it does not take from the heart-felt sentiment of my previous statement.
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