Teller

Nah. You can't enjoy love if you're a soulless husk.

(The biome pictured is a jungle, not a forest.) But a fair review, nonetheless!

In real life, I am a talkative and sociable guy—the starter of conversations and teller of dry humor. On the internet, I sometimes spout opinions and stare at snowflakes.

It usually looks like this: The photo's old, but the only thing that's different now is my keyboard and mouse pad.

I like soup before it's cool. Hot soup is the only way to go.

I do. However, I don't let that affect my choices.

Knowing how pencils work, it's probably 20 feet away from your desk.

I see these words, "everybody" and "nobody", but for whom are you speaking for?

Better than what I could do at age 7.

Generally speaking, when you first play a platformer, don't try to speedrun it. I did that in Super Mario World when I was 4 years old and I kept losing all of my lives by the time I made it to Vanilla Dome. After trying a more cautious approach to the game, I beat the game without getting a Game Over.

Every other sentence, when speaking. Almost never on the internet.

Hypnagogic jerks. You're sleeping, right? You feel yourself about to drift into a dream-like state. Suddenly, you feel a falling sensation, followed by your body having a sudden spasm.

"I think trilbies are fashionable."