I've been with my boyfriend for just over 4 months and I still get random question in my head. ( Do I like girls only or both girls and boys? )
I just don't want to loose my boyfriend cause of this issue.
My mood is acting up badly and I feel like I'm in a never ending loop of being depressed and not able to be the real me while my parents are religious and I live with them and I don't know why this is happening to me and it doesn't make sense why my life is like this when I only do good things in my life and all I get is bad apples and I don't know anymore.
I don’t know what to do anymore cause recently I was threatened and abused by a person who is a friend to my friend here in Australia and it happened on Facebook and I reported that person and delete my Facebook account cause I can’t take anymore of this bad stuff and then my friend here in Australia told me they are boyfriend and girlfriend and she started abusing me and threatening me and he started abusing me through her phone by text message so I told her our friendship is over and blocked her number
I still feel like I'm in a cage constricted on what I can do and my parents are getting angry at me for not going to church cause they think I'm loosing my way to God and every time I go to church I get depressed and get the shakes and my parents will not believe me they think it's the spirit that is doing it and I keep telling them it's something else and I don't like being forced into something I don't like and my parents think I shouldn't see a counselor cause my parents don't believe in them and want me to see a counselor with Christian belief and my mum constantly asking me who I'm talking to when I get a message on my phone.
I've chosen to try again with being transgender MTF and it's not easy to be myself when I live with my parents and if I buy a dress and my parents find it they might put it in the bin or worse put the Bible in my face and tell me it's wrong and might say if I get another dress I might be kicked me out on the streets.
My depression is getting worse and I don't know if my antidepressants are working and my parents are still pushing my buttons and I've tried nearly everything and my dad still thinks I can't live on my own and my sleeping patterns have been all over the place for too long now and I just recently become single again and I'm loosing more good friends and I got my ex-roommate spreading rumours about me and my dad still wants me to get rid of my MLP collection
My life is getting worse cause of my real estate kicking me out of my place and now my grandpa passing away and my family disowning me for stupid things and now the church i went to will not help me anymore.
my IRL mother decided to put the bible in my face again about posting things on Facebook even if I block her on Facebook she will still call my phone number and if I change my phone number she still finds it.
I feel like my life is in a never ending loop where I can't do anything right or correctly and nothing in my life has gone right so far and I just don't know what to do anymore and all I want to do is curl up on the couch and cry cause of what's been happening in my life and I feel hopeless at points in my life.
This year alone I lost around 15 friends and I feel like I'm in a cage where I can't do anything and that's why I have been jumping on and off the MLP Forums.
And I'm getting close to breaking point.
My year is getting worse here is a list why.
1. My real estate is still blaming me for stuff and not respecting me by saying I'm making excuses for things 2. some friends IRL are not talking to me and being disrespectful and other things. 3. I broke up with my boyfriend on the 22nd of Jan this year. 4. my parents still not trust me and respect me. 5. And now I got no car.
Hello everypony I just want to apologize cause I feel like I'm bothering users here with my problems and making them feel bad for me and I just don't know what to do anymore cause of my problems and all I can do is cry in a chair and do nothing and I still can't get a job and I keep doing courses and I still can't get a job. :( :(
my real estate said i haven't been cleaning up and then she shows off by saying this "I work and i clean up a 5 bedroom house and i have a family and you can't use your depression as a excuse not to do the cleaning" I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE *I start to cry*
Looks like i can't hide from my IRL parents anymore cause I changed my phone number so many times and they still find it and I deleted my old facebook account and they found out about it through the rest of the family and i can't take it anymore cause of them and I feel like I'm trapped in a never ending loop cause of them. :( :(