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Jokes stolen on the internet - Day 6

I wish the earth was flat so I could jump off the edge and die with an authentic Minecraft falling out of the world experience.   DnD bonus: Monk: Have some liquid courage, friend. Paladin: I have a spell for that, it's called Heroism. It allow me not to be intimidated or scared. Monk: I do too, it's called Jack Daniels.
 

Your """""Weekly"""""" Explosions - Week 2

It's been like 3 month, but anyway... "TORGUE MUNITIONS HAS A POP QUIZ FOR YOU, SKAGLICKER! YOU'RE SURROUNDED BY A DOZEN STEELY-EYED BANDITS! DO YOU: A ) BLOW THEM TO SMITHEREENS WITH YOUR TORGUE ASSAULT RIFLE, B )  RUN AND TAKE COVER, OR C ) CALMLY GET THEM TO PUT THEIR WEAPONS DOWN AND YOU KNOW THE ANSWER IS A! BUY A GODDAMN TORGUE GUN!" - Torgue Radio Ad; Borderlands 2
 

Jokes stolen on the internet - Day 15

I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my roommate Joseph barged into the room out of nowhere, tripped, and fell over, breaking a glass table with his face. Totally ruined the mood. Now I don't know Joseph THAT well, don't even remember where he was from, but let's say I put my plans on hold to help him through his injuries. Joseph had gotten a big glass shard in his eye, making him completely blind in that eye. He was walking around with one of those big cotton pads on his eye for a
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