Hello and welcome to another groundbreaking piece of journalism delivered to you by the one and only Harmonic Revelations. This time, we have something of a shocker. In a recent status update by renowned and world-famous user Abrony-Mouse, he has claimed that they are "honestly super hungry rn", but is the first word of that status true? Are they indeed being the honest paragon of virtue and desiring food that they claim to be? Or is this another piece of the insidious web of lies propagated by
In this unbelievable exclusive edition of Harmonic's Inside Scoop, we look at the biggest scandal to rattle the MLP forums for years. In a recent status update, long time user and "cute pastel pony" Emerald Heart has reported that they are feeling super cozy.
Now I know what you're thinking: "Harmy, that's just insane. There's no way Emerald Heart is feeling cozy", and were I myself in your shoes (or horse shoes perhaps) I too would be questioning the validity of this claim. But I am no l
Hello everyone. To those who knew me back in the day and have stuck around the forum, I'm sure you didn't expect to see me again, and with good reason. To say it's been a while is an understatement. To say it's been an eternity is probably closer to the truth.
There are those who said this day would never come where I'd return, those who have some understanding what happened all those years ago, and those who don't. So it's time to set the record straight, turn a new leaf, and put it all o
Here comes an actually serious blog post. It's an issue that affects everybody here in one way or another, so please take the time to read it.
I'm ashamed of the fandom for many reasons, and I'd like to walk you through them.
One of the big ones is how people respond to those who leave the fandom (Not the people who say that they are going to and don't, those people don't count).
They often says things like "Good riddance" or "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out", without
Greetings, friends. Today I am here to talk about the forums, namely the dark truth I've uncovered.
It all started when I saw SCS handing Artemis a black box. I was curious, so I asked what was in it, SCS then stabbed me to death. After I came back as a ghost, I floated through the walls and peaked in the box.
Inside the box was a set of letters, which I immediately knew to convert into numbers and then use on a safe, a safe that makes whale calls at approximately 11:59 AM everyday on th
In the "shocking" conclusion to this event that nobody actually had any reason to care about, Doctor XFizzle has concluded that the opinions of the users mean precisely jack shit. Of course, we can't blame him, because after carefully analyzing what the fuck was going on in the March Madness thread, our team also came to the conclusion that the entire thing meant precisely fucking nothing.
However, it would have made a whole lot more sense to declare that the one with the most votes at the t
Initial Report; 4/5/2014
In this one time special event, we are temporarily returning to cover news of March Madness. Which is, for some reason, still going on in April.
We have reports that the fans are violent and that the moderators are doing all they can to calm the situation. ADHD meds seem to calm the Pinkie fans, and shiny objects have proven successful at distracting the Rarity fans. The rest of the groups are still ravaging everything in their path.
We interviewed several users,
Weaboos. The Staff. Trixie Fans. and Everybody Else. Long ago, the four cliques lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Weaboo Nation attacked.
Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he vanished. A hundred thousand years (Forums time) passed and mah brotha and I discovered the new Avatar, a Staff Member named SCS. And although his Staffing and lucid dreaming skills are great, he has a lot to learn be
Hello, friends. Even though I only stopped browsing the forums for what seems like a day or two, it appears that every blog now is about something called popularity.
Namely, talking about how bad popularity is. They talk like popularity was some kind of ancient evil awakened by some ignorant explorer on the forums wandering into a forsaken temple, triggering the end of the forums as we know it.
Let me disagree with you on popularity being bad for a moment. Just hear me out. Feel free to
(I am vaguely recalling the commercial I saw last night for some kind of anti-aging cream. This is all accurate, I'm not fabricating any of the info, although I do paraphrase, I get the same point across.)
Do you look old and ugly? Worry no more. We have an accredited 'exclusive' doctor from France here to certify his anti-aging cream that's simply proven to work. It only costs $119. Who could resist?
Why does it warrant that price, and how does it work? Well I'll tell you.
Hello, friends. I'm going to monologue about things. Things minor enough that they don't actually warrant doing anything about, but things I feel are important enough to mention anyway for anybody who cares to read them.
The one I'm talking about today is probably very familiar to a lot of you.
Why can't you block staff members in any way, shape, or form? I can understand the inability to block their PMs and such, but you should be able to block their signatures at the very least. Maybe
I am a Carnegiea gigantea, which is an arborescent form of cactus. My family of cacti can grow over 20 meters tall. I am prized for my bright red fruit which ripen in June and are very sweet in taste. In addition, I have pretty little white flowers that grow on me.
Also, it is illegal to harm me in Arizona.
Now you know a bit more about me.
I am very perverted.
I am sarcastic when I'm talking to people I don't like/am in a bad mood.
I don't care if I offend people. It's better
This scandalous calculation from our latest love-measuring technology has the potential to mean the end of MLP as we know it.
Now, Ash Ketchum was reached for comment, he had this to say:
"Why do I only change my clothing once per season?"
As you can see by his comment, he believes this whole affair has more bark than bite. It is true that affairs with trees have deep roots in our culture, and it's impossible to tell exactly where it stems from.
He thought we'd never notice. He thought he could just march on the country of Maple Leafs, and the entire forums would turn a blind eye. But no longer, today I reveal to you the truth. This secret encoded message is the latest planned announcement from Lavo "The Conquerer" Code Overlord, and I posted it just in time to stop his evil deeds from coming to pass.
My secure sources tell me he has an army of at least ten million cans of Mountain Dew, moving in from the East. We must set up a defe
I got a message to be taken very seriously on my FiMFiction account, all of you should be quivering in fear like I am.
Not only does this mark some kind of ultimate evil destroying us, but from the sent time I can tell that this is the first time in history that a two week period is under 72 hours long.
I am shaking and have the FBI, the NSA, NASA, the USMC, Scooby Doo and the gang, the CIA, Delta Force, Ghost Busters and the Smurfs on the phone as I type this.
I blurred out the name no
Harmonic is the most beautiful, lovely, bubbly, murderous, sociopathic, psychotic, friendly staff member around, and I'm here to tell you why.
Because Cacti are the chosen ones, and humanity isn't.
Bow chicka bow down.
The green overlords are upon you, earthlings. Prepare yourself.
Hello, friends. I have some dark secrets to show to you today. I broke into the secret government tunnels below the Lincoln Memorial where they store Hilary Clinton's spare wigs and made a shocking discovery.
A lost record that shows us all the dark truth.
The Republican National Convention only exists so that Ron Paul can use his Warlock powers to absorb the souls of other Republicans to maintain his youth, thus making him immortal. That's why all Republican candidates have gray hair.
Let our call carry through the wind,
over empires grown weary with time
Let us shake them to the core
and show their time has run out
Let our roar burn like fire
let it cut into their insecurities
make them bow before our might
and swiftly give in
Their walls have grown high
protected them from naught but the truth
ignorance is their shield
enlightenment is our sword
Time has been t