(I am vaguely recalling the commercial I saw last night for some kind of anti-aging cream. This is all accurate, I'm not fabricating any of the info, although I do paraphrase, I get the same point across.)

Do you look old and ugly? Worry no more. We have an accredited 'exclusive' doctor from France here to certify his anti-aging cream that's simply proven to work. It only costs $119. Who could resist?

Why does it warrant that price, and how does it work? Well I'll tell you.

The main ingredient in this ointment is the extract of an immortal melon (Not the innuendo, the actual fruit) that stays plump and juicy forever.

By using my cream you can too can be a superior breed of immortal fruit God human. This usually very expensive procedure can be yours if you call now for only 35 DOLLARZ.

Who would not want to be spliced with an immortal French Fruit for about half the price of buying a new video game? I'm sure millions of women worldwide already did and are very happy with the results.

Become a freak of nature by calling this number at night. Alone.