Sign in to follow this  
  • entries
    49
  • comments
    141
  • views
    16096

All the Love

PurplePony

362 views

Aight so I got a problem. I am a slightly attractive gal who has many crushing on her....I have many ppl in my life who I love. I love all my friends dearly. You can lose so quickly.. In an instant life can be gone. I know this first hand. So I make it a point to love.

 

Now maybe I love some more than I wish to and I wish you* wouldn't give up.....

 

The thing is I got a bf... Dunno if it'll work or not. We haven't been good like we once were for a while. I know we both feel this way we just can't get past it. We talk about it often. I believe in being completely honest with ppl in affairs concerning the heart. I just want to love and be loved.. To be cherished and held is all I want. It's all I ever could ask for.

 

Now I am at a loss for words. It seems perhaps I have loved and hoped too much. Reality shatters everything and leaves me feeling broken, angry, and alone. If you read this you will probably hate me more.. I can't lie I love and care about you. I have thought about doing many bad things with you. I want, I do.

 

Right now I am so confused and I feel weird because I miss you and I care about you... and I think that maybe I hurt you. Just know that wasn't my intentions and I am so sorry if you feel angry, or hate me even. Heck I couldn't blame you if you did... Just know I care. I care a lot about you.

 

Now to be honest you applies to 3 ppl...1 not on this site, 2 on this site.. I know you two both know who you are, I know you know each other... Please try not to take offense to this boys I really do love you and could see us being together

 

The truth is I dunno what I am eating tomorrow, if I eat at all... Let alone who I will be with. Life is an adventure and what you make of it. Anything is possible and anything can happen. The thing is I just don't know, do you?

  • Brohoof 4


8 Comments


Recommended Comments

Its okay PP. I don't hate you. The truth is, I've been having a moral dilemma about the same issue. I know you have a boy friend, and I hope it works out with you and him. Really, I do. If not, I wish you the best. But if my small advances are doing you harm, then if you ask me to, I will gladly step down. I never wanted to hurt you in anyway. Whatever happens in the coming weeks or months, just know I will be there for you. As a friend, or if you choose, something more. I love you PP, and all I want is to see you happy. And if that happiness doesn't require me, then I will step aside.

Share this comment


Link to comment

Hmm...perhaps I should look at your blogs more often. It took almost 15 days for me to actually come across this. Quaint haha

I suppose indeed you are correct about being completely honest with people in concerns of the heart...and, I guess it's my turn...And no, I don't give a damn that others can see this because I take absolute pride in knowing you and having this bond with you no matter how real or fake it may seem in your book.

 

In my most honest approach if you don't care for a slight read:

 

Since the day I was introduced to you by our friend who still searches for the Ctrl key, I thought you were an awfully peculiar specimen of a woman. The first thought that passed through my mind was 'great, another girl who appears to be awesome online but is probably overweight, emo, and Chinese for all I know.' For quite a while, my attraction for you developed. I didn't think about having a connection with you for possibly the first week. I know that doesn't seem like much be we talk...a lot...lol

 

Ever since that day you said that you wished someone would fight for you, I honestly don't know why I took up the reins...Maybe it was as Daniel said: I did it for hope. If that's the case then I know you probably won't want much to do with me. Desperation isn't exactly the best thing to even get close to starting a relationship on. I never did have much growing up and I've been through a literal hell...however, I moved on. I pushed past my own troubles and saw you. Finally, I had a rope to grasp hold of that things would indeed get better in my life.

 

Personally, I doubt I'm much better than any of the others that "chase" you. Feels good to have such an enormous selection doesn't it? Yeah, I never had anything like that. It was always as though if I wanted love, I would be forced to to do so unhappily for I could not love those who were so attracted to me. 

All my mind has realized is if you truly love someone and wish to pursue them, you have to fight for them (even though no one has ever really done the same for me). In the end though, I believe I was being selfish in my own regard. Even though I had little, I expected you to leave the good you had going for you: A home, family, already having a boyfriend, etc. That was wrong, even with my promises and the money to do so. As I said from day 1, I will not take you from someone you wish to be with. 

 

Anyways, take a minute to consider the boat that all us "chasers" are in. We're all in it for the gold: you. I'm no saying you have to really decide anything, no matter how badly all of us wish for you to commit.

The only thing we don't realize is that you have to make a life for yourself and succeed to where you have control and happiness in your life. All the same, so do we.

 

I'd like to say I've been giving you my all to as far as you will let me, being willing to give up everything I have no matter how little there is. 

In the realest of honesty though, not a day goes by in which I question if I am doing the right thing. My heart tells me to keep fighting and to keep going so that one day these dreams I have can be realized, but truly, reality hits the hardest.

 

Yes, I could pay your way down here or even me do the same to pay my way to you...but what would that solve? You love (and I mean relationship love) your current boyfriend and I have no doubt that he at least feels something towards you. I believe you are extremely undecided on which path you truly wish to pursue either than obviously making yourself self-sustainable and build yourself back up from the horrible past you went through.

 

Maybe it's just now that I realize what I should have done earlier instead of setting goals to ensure a possible and happy life with you in the future. 

Purple, I do indeed love with you with the most my heart can give (and I really don't give a fuck how much you've heard those words told to you because I know that they are real) and I want to fight for you like I always have but really...I think I've made my fight perfectly clear.

 

I think now I will not harass you about how much I love and adore you anymore. I believe it isn't necessary when you should already know how much I do. I told you I would pay your way or my own way so that we can be together and would fight for you every day of my life to the greatest of my ability.

 

I'm done being a chaser Purple...I don't wish to be hurt again...I'm not needy but I am real. 

If there is ever a day you will want me, I will come.

Until that day comes, as you have said, we shall remain friends as we always have been...but nothing more. 

Just know, that my love for you is real and unwavering, willing to give up everything for it to be returned.

My arms will be open for you always...till you wish to embrace them.

  • Brohoof 3

Share this comment


Link to comment

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.