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About Me (Originally a Response to Scarlet's Blog).

DryGuy84 (Inactive)

Entry posted by DryGuy84 (Inactive)

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I suppose I've been on these forums long enough now to give some info on the details on my past, and my depression. This was originally part of a response to 's blog (which I recommend checking out), but I felt that this should also be shared here, in the most personal place I have on the forums. Anyway here's a brief look at my life, and why depression hit me so hard growing up:

 

"From as far back as I can remember until I was seven my mom and dad constantly were fighting, whether it be verbally or physically. I don't even think my dad originally wanted a child. So, given the circumstances I learned early on that the world isn't exactly a "magical" place. After that my parents got divorced, my mom cried for more than a month straight. She lost the will to do anything, so I had to man-up and do it myself. Then after she recovered my dad went through a series of relationships with a young me in tow (split-custody). He often blamed me for his relationship troubles, and for a while I believed him. He eventually settled down with my stepmom. I accidentally caused some issues over another custody battle wasting a ton of money in the process., My stepmom's grandma died before she could introduce her to my stepsister for the first time, because of this. From then on my stepmom hated my guts, called me a lowlife, a retard, a mistake of nature. I didn't blame her. I tried for years to fix things from there and eventually succeeded, now I'm finally part of a happy family."

 

Hopefully this clears up my history as well as sheds light on my motivations. Remember, if you suffer from depression you don't have to go it alone, we as a community will be here to help and support you. Stay strong.

 

EDIT: Fixed numerous grammatical and contextual errors, sorry for the poor wording beforehand.

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)O( Scarlet )O(

*HUGS* I feel bad now, my own reasons for being depressed are fucking selfish and well honestly, pretty fucking stupid.. *hugs again*

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DryGuy84 (Inactive)

*HUGS* I feel bad now, my own reasons for being depressed are fucking selfish and well honestly, pretty fucking stupid.. *hugs again*

 

Don't feel bad, it's ok. I want to spread happiness not sadness. *hugs back*

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Dowlphin

Believing the stuff others tell us at young age is one of the biggest sources of personality messup. Difficult to fix later. I've come to realize that in retrospect.

Still trying to fix basics in my life, and I have to do it with repeated disappointments from people one would think could and wanted to help. So I basically have to self-motivate and do anything of substantial relevance to my life on my own.

I even stopped trying to not feel bitter about such disappointments, because, hell, I have every reason to. Anger is a source of energy, and I can't affford the luxury of being picky regarding where to get my energy from.

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DryGuy84 (Inactive)

Believing the stuff others tell us at young age is one of the biggest sources of personality messup. Difficult to fix later. I've come to realize that in retrospect.

Still trying to fix basics in my life, and I have to do it with repeated disappointments from people one would think could and wanted to help. So I basically have to self-motivate and do anything of substantial relevance to my life on my own.

I even stopped trying to not feel bitter about such disappointments, because, hell, I have every reason to. Anger is a source of energy, and I can't affford the luxury of being picky regarding where to get my energy from.

 

I agree with everything you said. And I'm sorry that you had to go through a lot of shit early on. It sucks I know and we may not be able to physically help you, but we can help boost your morale when need be. This only works with those who are willing to listen to us, though (not implying you're that type of person). The self-motivation is definitely key, but others can help boost it. So if you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me. And I hope you are successful in your endeavors.

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