AS WE ALL KNOW, DISCRIMINATION PLAYS AN UNFORTUNATELY LARGE ROLE IN OUR SOCIETY. IT DIMINISHES OPPORTUNITIES, IT CAN LEAD TO UNEQUAL PAY, AND IT HAS ARGUABLY BEEN THE CAUSE OF MORE CONFLICT THAN ANY OTHER FACTOR. RIGHT NOW YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING "WHY THE FUCK IS THIS GUY WRITING IN ALL CAPS?" WELL, I AM OF THE OPINION THAT ANY ATTEMPT TO END DISCRIMINATION IS POINTLESS SO LONG AS WE ALLOW A CERTAIN HEINOUS, SUBCONSCIOUS DISCRIMINATION TO CONTINUE. WHAT IN GOD'S HOLY NAME AM I BLATHERING ON ABOUT? ALPHABET DISCRIMINATION.

EVER SINCE THE GREEKS CREATED THEIR ALPHABET, THERE HAVE BEEN UPPERCASE AND LOWERCASE LETTERS. FOR ALL OF THIS TIME, THE LOWERCASE LETTERS HAVE GOTTEN THE SHORT END OF THE STICK, NOT BEING "GOOD ENOUGH" TO BEGIN SENTENCES OR PROPER NOUNS. TAKE A AND a FOR EXAMPLE. DO THEY NOT MEAN THE SAME THING? DO THEY NOT MAKE THE SAME SOUND? WHY, THEN, SHOULD ONE BE TREATED AS INFERIOR TO THE OTHER? I THEREFORE POSIT THAT ALL LOWERCASE LETTERS SHALL FROM HENCEFORTH BE THROWN OUT. THE ONLY SOLUTION TO SUCH DISCRIMINATION IS HOMOGENIZATION.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, "THIS IS INSANE, LETTERS CAN'T FEEL DISCRIMINATION!". AND YOU'RE RIGHT, THEY CAN'T. BUT DOES THAT SOMEHOW MAKE IT MORALLY RIGHT? JUST THINK OF THE DISCRIMINATORY MINDSET NEEDED TO CREATE AND MAINTAIN SUCH A SYSTEM. IT'S SICKENING, REALLY. IF WE ARE SO QUICK TO JUDGE A LETTER'S WORTH BY ITS SIZE, MIGHT WE NOT ALSO USE THE SAME SUBCONSCIOUS PROCESS TO JUDGE THE WORTH OF OUR FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS?