June 3:37 a.m.
Its my first blog entry, at least on this site.
I'm used to writing about dark things, it is after all, my area of comfort. Many things happened to me in my life, as does everyone but we all have our different ways of expressing it. So im just going to talk.
It's...3:43 am now and I cant sleep. Its been 3 days since ive slept well. Im sleeping on the couch because I cant stand sleeping in the same bed as my boyfriend anymore. The part that hurts is the pain of loneliness, the pain of sleeping alone. It makes me think that I dont love him, I dont even want to touch him. And yet, I think I still do. My mind is a mess. As is my heart.
Why don't you leave him?
Because we have a daughter. My mother took me from my father when I was little and it damaged me for the rest of my life. Now why would I inflict that kind of curse on my daughter? God I want this to work for her, I need it too. I just need to talk about it.
I'm going to finish listening to Coast to Coast a.m now.
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