Wow has it been a LONG time since my first review (not that anyone was waiting for a second) but life got in the way and now I'm back. New rules this time I'm reviewing anything I get a request for, not just MLP stuff and I swear I'm doing one of these a week now. Enough stalling lets go.

So for those of you who aren't familiar, the Sonic OVA is a 'movie' that came out in Japan to market the Sonic CD game there. I found a DVD copy of the English version which is actually pretty rare and worth a bit of money and decided to review it for you today. So the movie opens with Robotnik, oh I'm sorry 'Eggman', monologuing about his new robot Hyper Metal Sonic. After the title screen smacks us in the face we get a shot over a floating island that is not to be confused with Angel Island with some pretty good background music. If there's one thing I can give this movie its that the music is pretty good.

Finally we see a large mountain base with Sonic sitting out on the beach with Tails running in from behind, and then they talk........and lets just say this isn't a particularly good English dub. Tails' voice is high pitched and sounds like he has a cold and Sonics voice is slightly grating as well. After some banter that establishes that Sonic as an A-hole we get introduced to one of the most irritating characters I've seen in media, the owl from the Tootsie Pop commercial who is flying a rocket that is about to explode.

After a failed rescue attempt from Tails, Sonic finally gets off his ass and saves them at the last minute from certain doom in a surprisingly well animated scene for the time. So the owl (yes he doesn't have a name) tells the pair that the President wants to meet them and they take off in the Tornado to get there. Upon arrival we find out that *gasp* Robotnik captured the president and his daughter who serves as Sonic kinda/sorta love interest [insert bestiality joke here] that you will want dead by the end of this abomination. So instead of stopping Robotnik right there they taunt him a bit and allow him to hit us with a lengthily exposition dump that nearly made me die of boredom.

However we do find out that the planet is called Freedom, yes Freedom so creative I know, and that Robotniks city Robotropolis (which looks like Eggman Land to me) was taken over by a demonic robot called Metal Robotnik took over and overloaded a generator that will blow up the planet at sunrise the next day. This is obviously a trap but our 'hero's' are too stupid to ever question it so why should you. So after giving them a tracker to get to Robotropolis, Robotnik sends them on their way. After a well animated scene with Sonic and Tails running through the land of darkness they enter a LSD seizure portal and on the other side is clearly post-apocalyptic New York.

Ya, for some reason is movie wants to say that this takes place on a post-apocalyptic Earth and I have no idea why, and not only is it not subtle its not necessary either. So after Metal Robotnik appears, Tails states the obvious for the millionth time, and Sonic flips him off (you know, for kids) we have a chase scene that introduces us to the plot device in the form of Knuckles and the destruction of Metal Robotnik who was piloted by Robotnik the whole time to the surprise of nobody.

So finally they all get to the Robot generator and in typical cliché style are able to shut it off a millisecond before it explodes, only to have Sonic get trapped in a green field of energy that activates Metal Sonic. Tails states the obvious again and makes me want to kill him before a fight commences between Sonic and Metal that doesn't really amount to anything accept Sonic being temporarily beaten. With Sonic out of the way Metal can go on a rampage and draw some smoke lines over scenery we saw before. So while Tails tinkers with the watch he got to do something to it that it could functionally never be able to do Robotnik reveals his plan to us. So why is he going out of his way to destroy all life on the planet......

Just so he can bang the presidents daughter.......that's right Robotnik is destroying a PLANET just so he can get a piece of the presidents teenage daughter.........excuse me while I go vomit.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok I'm back *gag* so anyway we find out the whole planet is held together by a ice bridge that, if destroyed, will break the whole thing. This open up a hole in Robotniks plan because maybe instead of building a complicated robot to do it why doesn't he just use explosives. It seems simpler and more efficient. Sonic finally comes back into the plot to go to the North Pole and stop Metal and Robotnik and all his friends follow close behind.

So finally we get to the final fight and to be honest its pretty awesome, that my be because everything else in this movie has been so bad that my expectations where low but the fight reminds me a bit of DBZ. Robotnik finally shows up and we are bombed with several sexual innuendos that have no reason to be here and the presidents daughter falls out of Robotniks ship and fall toward the ground. Don't feel bad if you cheered when she nearly died, we all wanted her to anyway.

When the battle finally starts to be lost Tails uses the watch to overload Metal with the power of bad writing and Sonic finally sends him blasting off again. As if things couldn't get more stupid the president shows up and crashes his ship into the ice bridge just around the time Metal shows up for a second round of fighting and Sonic personality somehow fully takes over and he saves the president before he kills himself in lava.

Now everything's over all the characters have a good laugh about Robotnik nearly killing the whole human race and they all go off into the sunset. So that was the Sonic OVA, how was it?......it was pretty bad. The plot is ridiculous, the voice acting is some of the worst I've ever heard and the characters where all either stupid or complete A-holes but you know what, I kinda liked this. Ya, despite all the things wrong with it I found myself rolling on the floor in laughter at its stupidity, so if your ever looking for a good laugh just sit down, grab a beer and watch the Sonic OVA

Final Grades

Animation 3/5

Plot 1/5

Voice Acting 2/5

Music 3/5

Enjoyment 4/5

Score 13/25

What should I review next? Animation, Movies, Fanfics, you decide! Drop your suggestions down below.