Last night, I woke up a few times in the middle of the night for various reasons. Also, last night was a very active night for me in terms of dreaming. Note that plenty of this is blurry as it’s hard for me to remember most of this, but it’s all in there (kind of).

Dream #1: My Ex Can't Leave Me Alone

The first dream involves my girlfriend and me. We’re sitting at a restaurant. I’m having steak, and she’s having a white peach drink (which is a very sweet fruity beverage with a shot of vodka added to it) and some potato skins. This is exactly what she had the last time we went on a date, which was Thursday. I also had my old flip phone. It was a very busted up Motorola RAZR ve20, the phone I had the last time I had a serious girlfriend. And wouldn’t you know it? That damn phone starts ringing, and it’s my ex calling me…

Then I wake up.

Dream #2: ...BUT THE METAL HAD ITS WAY!

This one was pretty graphic

The second dream involved me being in a heavy metal band I formed with some friends. We were working on creating the album art for our debut album, “The Meat Block Who May Have Had Too Much to Drink.” Yes, that was the name of the album. The album art was a monochrome photo of a jail cell that was so dank and in such poor condition, it might as well have been a sewer. There was algae growing on the walls and it looked like it would smell like mold. In the middle of the photo was a wooden stool and an end table. Seated on the stool was a torso with the head still attached and the end table had a bunch of beer bottles of various fill levels and they were either standing up or laying down. Also, a couple bottles had fallen to the floor and broken.

And I wake up again.

Dream #3: Dolphin Simulator - Now on PlayStation 1 and Sega Dreamcast!

In the third dream, I was a dolphin kept in captivity, and I’m trying to escape the scientists who keep doing tests on me. Only, the way I saw this dream was much like a video game. There was a life bar, a witty British narrator, everything! Only it was an old video game. It looked like PS1 graphics (evidently I can dream in PS1 graphics). I swim through many obstacles and flip a few switches and later on I finally escape the facility! The narrator says, “Working hard, you finally managed to escape the clutches of those bastards! Go on! Strike a pose!” And so I did. I laid on my back and did the dolphin equivalent of flipping the facility off as the sun set in the background. I heard a camera shutter sound effect. Then there was a kind of bang and everything went black.

I did not wake up between these two dreams.

Dream #4: Science is far out, man...and kind of creepypasta

I come to (in the dream, of course), human again. I’m back at the restaurant I was at in the first dream. Only now, we’re outside. To describe this restaurant…It was in the middle of a bunch of water that was about waist deep, and it floated on some kind of artificial island. I don’t know if that helps much in forming a mental image, but let’s move on. This time, I’m a presenter for some kind of kids’ science show, but my co-host and I are obvious stoners and we talk like stoners. We’re in the middle of explaining water when my phone rings. Me: “The phone is ringing! And you know what that means!” My co-host: “You know what that means! If we answer it, we get to talk to someone!” Both of us: “Same action yields same result!” Then we high-five and start swimming around, looking for the phone. We finally locate it on a pile of rocks in the fountain next to the restaurant. It’s my old flip phone from the first dream. The person calling is the meat block from the second dream, and he says (in a very drunk voice), "The *hic* scyense facil - *hic* -fuhsilitee cawwlled...an they *hic* want their dawlfunn backc..."

Then it was 7:30 am. I wake up thinking “What the fuck did I eat last night that caused this?!!”

Seriously, that pizza had to have had something in it!