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A short letter to all of you people who have problems sleeping in...from an insomniac

Skinny Shadowy

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This isn't advice for waking up earlier. Because why would you want that? No. This is a blog because I hate my body right now. And I am going to piss and moan. If you don't like pissing and moaning, then you've been warned.

 

Tomorrow was supposed to go perfectly! I was going to go to bed early, wake up early, have my morning cup of coffee, go for an early morning stroll, watch the news, re-iron my clothes, cook breakfast...I was gonna do all this by 8 am because I was going to wake up at 5 am. I was going to have a very productive morning so I could feel my best for an interview at 10 am. And I have to drive about an hour and a half to get there. And on top of that, I promised to take my girlfriend out to lunch tomorrow. It was going to be a fun trip to the city and another job opportunity for me to explore. It was shaping up to be a great day tomorrow!

 

Tomorrow was going to be perfect until my body decided to say LOL FUCK YOU I WANT STAY UP AND DO ALL THE THINGS!!!!!!!

 

So I have been lying in bed since 9 pm. As of writing this, it's roughly 2:30 am, give or take a few minutes. I can't get comfortable or cool enough though it's freezing in here by the standards of many. My back started hurting for no reason whatsoever. And I just feel zero percent tired. I have lied in bed in the dark and silence for over five hours, and I cannot sleep at all. I have tried everything short of chloroform, and my body is fighting sleep like the heavyweight title is on the line.

 

I JUST WANT TO FUCKING SLEEP!

 

So here's a message to all you people who have a problem sleeping in but you don't like it. Please enjoy that. It's kind of a curse, but it's also a blessing. You can actually sleep. Because you can be on the other side of the fucking spectrum like me - insomniac. There is nothing good about that.

 

So instead of my perfect day tomorrow, I'm not looking at the possibility of sleeping only three hours. I just cut a sleeping pill in half with the hope that the lowered dosage of sleeping medication will not impair me in the morning, but now I run the risk of actually sleeping past my interview. If I don't sleep in, I'm going to be very tired or maybe impaired enough that I shouldn't drive my car. At which point, my better judgment should kick in and I'll cancel my interview. If I feel good enough to drive, I'll still be tired and lack of sleep ruins your ability to focus, which is only compounded by my ADHD so I still run a greater probability of getting into my first car accident (though I've been a licensed driver for over 5 years, and I've been driving for about 11 years now). So yeah. I might die. In that case, at least I had fun on my journey to achieving room temperature. If I do make it, I'm probably gonna fall flat on my face at the interview and not get the job, which would make me feel horrible. If I don't fail the interview, I still promised to take my girlfriend out to lunch, and I don't like to go back on promises; however, this one isn't such a big deal as I know she'll understand.

 

So if you have a problem sleeping in or sleeping too much, cherish that. Because you could have had insomnia instead.



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The feels bro... I don't have insomnia as bad as you, but I know what you mean. It's more of a I-have-to-sleep-for-at-least-8-hours-or-I'm-not-getting-up-unless-it's-light sort of thing. I sleep in, but I can hardly get to sleep in the first place.

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I can see why you are probably suffering this (suffered this). With an interview, and something fun/exciting going to happen, you naturally build up tension/excitement the night before, thus making it very VERY difficult to sleep. Your body is excited because your mind is excited. ADHD does not help that at all (I should know, I have it too but take nothing for it). Something that is wiser to do knowing this (for the future), is keep some melatonin (a natural sleep aid) on hand, and take some of that a half hour before bed (or a normal OTC sleeping pill). Because you do not take those often or on a regular basis, it will definitely help you sleep.  I was so nervous/excited for MLP-MSP that I didn't get to sleep until after 11pm (which is very late considering I get up at 2am everyday) which made me not only grumpy but forget my destination entirely and wandered the Twin Cities for at least 2 hours, even though I have been to the MOA enough to know where it is, which made me late and even more grumpy. 

It's a body and mind thing going on. If you can't calm the mind, calm the body as best as you can. Avoid and lighted screen (i.e. phones, computers, tvs) and do something either very boring, or something relaxing you enjoy. Drink some calming tea, take a sleeping aid, and make sure to avoid caffeine all together the day before. I'd rather be dead tired the day before than the day of any even going on. Although an interview and nice luncheon out may not seem like something overtly exciting to you consciously, but it is chemically when it comes to how your brain and body react to your thoughts/feelings. 

Hope things went better than you expected. And yeah, I'm jealous of anyone who can sleep in no matter what the reasoning (especially jealous of my husband, who sleeps better than rocks). I have always had sleeping problems (without excitement) so all this comes from personal experience...

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