Dear people of the world, Not everything is up for debate. Sometimes you need to just shut up, listen, and attempt to empathize.

Example:

I am on a public chat with some fellow activists. A young woman tells a story about aggressive cat calling, and how it makes her uncomfortable when she walks home. Another couple women agrees in the chat, some even telling stories about being punched for saying no, and a couple even reporting being raped. I tell the story about how my dog protected me from being sexually assaulted. Most of the guys in the chat have been understanding and supportive, except for one guy. He says the same tired things like 'what were you wearing?', 'Maybe you misunderstood?', and 'See, now you shouldn't have said THAT, that's where the issue is'.

When we tell him 'No, don't play devils advocate, don't pick this subject apart, we aren't asking for it to be picked apart. We are speaking of about, and sharing our real life experiences.' and even most of the guys are saying the same thing. This guy shouts 'that's the problem with you f***ing feminists, you don't want to debate!' and leaves the chat.

Here's the thing, not every subject requires a debate. Not everyone wants to validate themselves every time they try and express they are upset. When it comes to things like assault, battery, pain, racism, sexism, able-ism, sometimes people just want you to listen and support them.

There seems to be a prevalence in our culture that debate is always good, and always needed, and if you somehow disagree that 'dude, now is not the time to pick apart someones rape story.' you are accused of ‘shutting down discussion’. Not everything is a discussion.

Sometimes, debate is the best way to go. I personally love a good debate. But I know when the mood isn't right, and when the topic is just not one that should be picked apart, especially if people are upset. Sometimes people just want you to listen and support them.

People seriously need to work on their listening skills, and learn to just shut the hell up, and learn some damn empathy.