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Aura Nightlight

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Am I the only one that wishes a smaller intellect? I'm not tooting my own horn, but there come a time when thinking can be over the top. Especially when it come to 'Over Thinking'. A lot of you bronies can agree with me that although thoroughly asserting a situation can be helpful, it can be painful when it gets too much.

 

Recently, and I will just come right out and say this, I discovered my house is now a wonderful home to bed bugs (spoiler alert for sarvasm)! Isn't that great!.. Anyway, it's been a week now since I've seen my mother and my other beloved friends because we are both too paranoid and think I will give them all bed bugs. While this is not completely ludicrous, I can't stand the thought of an insect invading my space! Not to mention the very place to where I live!

 

It's been about a week since I've connected with them, and I made a realization. My happiness depends on being around others. Yes, I do have a chemical imbalance that gives me depression but it's not like I'm depressed 24/7. I also notice my daily hygiene got worse once I knew I would be at the house and not see my family. I know it's gross, but hygiene is something I'm just not all that focused on. Frankly I personally think girls like myself are misnamed for being a 'tomboy', or whatnot. It's not that, it's just there are more things in life that I personally find more important than how I look (sadly my depression just makes it harder for an 'upkeep').

 

I love my father dearly, but he is as broken and still as I am. Sometimes I just need to get out of the house to interact with people like Pinkie Pie, although no doubt she would drive me crazy in less than 10 minutes.. Anyway, what I'm attempting to explain is that I so desperately want to be able to be happy without depending on an outside force to do so. I am a Christian, but sometimes faith can only get you so far. I can't tell you how many times I've over thought the presence of a deity, just to make some logical sense in my life. I'm not sure if this is something that I can change on my own. Or if I do see some improvement, am I fooling myself to be happy just to be happy? Or will I genuinely be joyful?

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Ultimately it's really only something you can see for yourself. You're the only one who can really tell how comfortable you are with things, but until you reach out and try you can't be sure. If you push yourself too hard you can always fall back, after all. My biggest regrets in life have all come from staying passive and not doing something when I could have, so I'm always going to advise those younger than themselves to take the risks.

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