So... today I saw the movie with my friend in the cinema. Needless to say it was yet another case of animated movie being deeper, more touching than "real" movies I've seen so far and reached Inside Out level of feels. One would say it is childish or that I am too old for such stuff. Or that it has nothing to offer for adults.

But even when I saw trailers of it I knew I have to see it. And I knew story would relate to me a lot. And You know what? I was right.

Most time when watching it I saw myself in the girl who was main character of it. When she allowed her mom to plan her entire life, when she was following it and rejecting everything else in order to satisfy her. It was literally me. The difference is - she eventually freed herself from that. Managed to do something I haven't done... yet. Because of it I realized how much of my life is already away. Wasted, because I've chosen false feeling of being safe over risking in order to do something I love. And I had many dreams I already have forgotten or foolishly marked as childish. I wanted to be musician for long part of my life. I wanted to travel all around the world and see what it has to offer. I even wanted to focus my life on learning about astronomy and physics in order to be able to be Polandball that can into space one day (I had to, sorry xD).
And there were smaller ones: becoming a teacher, a therapist, even archeologist. Or simply living adventerous life. The one that would satisfy me fully and make me really happy.

I've wasted it all and instead tried to force myself to become businessman just like my dad. I have almost bound myself to my hometown, place I really despise, because with all it has to offer it lacks love or even feeling of friendship - two things I so want in my life and would replace anything in order to have them. I've chosen school and I didn't realize for long time that when I chose it I looked behind and checked if my parents approve of it. All my decisions. Well, almost all of them were done with their approval. And when they didn't approve of something I instantly rejected that.

It is kinda silly that an animated movie made me realize that, but it did. I ended up in tears, story itself was so touching and deep inside I hope end of my own will be similiar to that. That one day I will wake up and be able to say that I've lived my life fully and am happy about it. I literally ended up in tears during watching it because of that. Because it was a movie that ended up being very.. "personal" to me. I hope I will manage to fix my mistakes. And to all who read this - don't repeat them after me. Don't follow my steps, chase Your dreams, no matter how ridiculous they may appear to be.

I don't know why I wrote all this. I feel like I didn't even write everything I want to say. But somehow deep inside I wanted to. Feel free to say what You think.