I've been trying to break myself down to notice flaws I have and how I can improve myself. There are social flaws I have and my fine motor issues that I've talked about before, but I feel one of my most destructive problems is my inferiority complex.
Most of you should know what this means: Feels inferior around others ad/or gets easily jealous. I feel my problems more surface around the latter though. I only notice my inferiority complex come up whenever someone else is having a lot of fun be it online or IRL. Whenever I see people talk about how much fun they're having on their vacations, at their jobs or at conventions, I get this jealous feeling in me. It only grows the more I read about people having fun. It makes me think about how pathetic my life is and how I can't do really cool stuff like that. I mean, I get to go on vacations but they're nowhere near as fun as going to cons.
It also comes up whenever someone is ignoring me. I usually feel like they are purposely ignoring me because they hate me. When you don't have a lot of friends to begin with, stuff like that especially hurt you. Or those friends have other friends that they hang out with more than me leaving me to be dust in the wind. I barely hangout with anyone outside of school because they're hanging out with their other friends. Makes me sad when I'm not invited anywhere that much.
It makes me feel like my life is useless and makes me worry that my life will amount to nothing. Seeing all these people have fun at young ages while I'm 17 without my license or a job and have only been to cons in my area. I sometimes feel cooped up like this, not being able to go many places that aren't cheap family vacations in some house or cabin. I get it, it costs money but it only makes it worse when I also aspire to get a job. I'm going to be working on that but I don't know when I'll get a job. It could be years depending on how many openings there are. It makes me wonder how some people can just get jobs so easily.
I just hate having this inferiority complex.