(Yes this is my Halloween blog. I decided to post this a few hours early because why not. There also may be a few grammatical errors with parentheses since I'm terrible with those. Anyway, on with the story!)
(The episode opens on the school, which is decorated for Halloween. Pans into Ms. Strong’s classroom, which is also decorated. Mark comes up to Willy and Emily.)
Willy and Emily: Morning.
Mark: Magician again for Halloween?
Willy and Emily Yep.
Emily: Why do our parents keep making us dress like their jobs every year?
Mark: Something about following in their footsteps or something. Either way, it’s getting old.
Willy: I just want to be something truly scary.
Emily: Yeah. Because to be honest, magicians aren’t scary.
Mark: Except for that one in Danger Unicorn episode 65.
Emily: Oh yeah (cringes).
(Sophie is walking around holding flyers, looking down and handing out the flyers in a disappointed tone.)
Sophie (sigh): Come to the haunted house at my house. Full of frights.
Mark: What’s wrong?
Sophie: It’s just that every Halloween my dad makes me miss trick or treating to run his stupid haunted house.
Willy: Wait, you’ve never been trick or treating?
Willy (grabs her shoulders): I feel so sorry for you.
Sophie: It’s okay. Though it would be nice to see what the experience is like.
Mark: Hmmm, maybe we can take you along with us.
(Willy and Emily look at him confused.)
Sophie: Really? But what if my dad comes down and sees I’m not there?
Mark: We’ll make a decoy. Just to be safe, we won’t take you out the whole night, just part of it.
Sophie: That. Would. Be. AMAZING! (Hugs Mark and shakes him) Oh thank you thank you thank you! (skips off to her desk.)
Emily: That was… Strangely nice of you.
Mark: Well if you’ve been robbed of trick or treating your whole life, wouldn’t you want someone to be nice to you? She probably wants to see what it’s like to go out dressed up.
Willy: Speaking of getting dressed up, I wonder what Ms. Strong will be dressed up as?
Emily: Since she wears costumes all the time, she will probably be something amazing or something scary.
Ms. Strong: Good Morning class!
(There is a dramatic, horror buildup of her walking up to the classroom and going in. The dramatic buildup leads to her just looking like a normal teacher. The class screams as a result of it.)
Kid: WHAT HAS THIS HORRIFYING THING DONE TO MS. STRONG!?
Ms. Strong: It’s okay it’s okay. It’s me.
Emily: Why wear a costume on all days except Halloween?
Ms. Strong: Oh, I am dressed up. I see Halloween as dressing up as something you’re not. And a normal bland teacher is something I’m not.
(Class sigh in relief.)
Ms. Strong: Now, for your homework tonight, you will have to write a 10 page report on how Dracula is an excellent figure in the horror genre.
Ms. Strong: Just kidding! I would never give homework on Halloween. You just go out and have fun. Now, let me sing you my Halloween song (pulls out a ukulele and starts playing music and singing).
Ms. Strong (singing): Ghosts and ghouls, don’t be fools! Take cover from those monsters. Come with me, because you see, Halloween is coming! Witches brew, mummies too, they are also scary! What’s that sound, beneath the ground, I think they are zombies! (During this whole song, her boyfriend David, comes in and starts playing along with his music.)
(The class is sitting there either confused or enjoying it.)
Mark (turns to camera): Just cut to tonight.
(The scene transitions that night. The 3 kids are at Mark’s house as it pans around the house.)
Willy: It was a dark and stormy night!
(Pans to the kids in magician costumes with their sacks.)
Emily: It better not be or else we can’t go trick or treating.
Denise (In an extra motherly voice): Okay. You kids have fun and be safe. You don’t want to get a splinter! (Pinches Mark’s cheek.)
Mark: Mom, stop pinching my cheeks! And how are we gonna get a splinter when we’re walking from door to door?
Denise (In her normal voice): You won’t. It’s my costume. I’m an overprotective mom.
Mark: Does that explain why I have never seen you wear that outfit.
Denise: It does. I hate it. Anyways, (Back to her motherly voice) Remember to avoid all the Danger Unicorn costumes. They are way too violent for you babies (she cringes).
(The three kids walk to the door where they see Moe waiting by the door.)
Willy: Oh are you passing out candy Mr. Walker?
Moe: Not exactly. I’m gonna give the trick or treaters a show!
Mark: Dad, they’re here for candy, not to see your act.
Moe: Well it’s trick or treat. And I will give them a trick alright (Pulls out magic gear). A magic trick that is!
Mark (rolls eyes): Okay see you later Dad (They leave).
(The three kids walk to where there are some porta potties.)
Mark: Oh look here. I have to go to the bathroom (Goes in one stall).
Willy: Uh me too (Goes in stall next to his).
Emily: Me three (Goes in stall next to Willy’s).
(They all come out wearing different costumes. They look at each other.)
Mark: Aw come on I thought my costume switch idea was original! But I gotta say I’m glad I finally get to go as Danger Unicorn! (Does an epic pose and then looks at Emily.)
Mark: Who are you supposed to be?
Emily: I’m Edger Ellen Poe.
Emily: I don’t know some writer who my mom was quoting poems from. I even brought a stuffed bird (shows stuffed raven). I think he likes birds (looks at Willy who is wearing a fake giant diaper and is holding a maraca as a rattle). And who are you supposed to be?
Willy: I’m Wayne, the most terrifying thing of all!
Mark: How’s your brother terrifying?
Willy: Have you seen his temper tantrums?
(Mark and Emily just look at him weirdly.)
Mark: Anyways let’s go out! (About to run off then Emily stops him.)
Emily: Don’t you remember? We have to get Sophie. You’re the one who said we would bring her along in school.
Mark (sighs): Okay let’s go.
(They walk down to Sophie’s mansion. It is decorated like a very accurate run down haunted house.)
Willy: Wow they know how to decorate.
(They walk to the front door to see Sophie running the ticket stand looking really bored. She sees the 3 kids walk by and gets excited.)
Sophie: You came!
Mark: Yep, I remembered completely (Emily gives him a look of, ‘No’).
Sophie: Let me just get my costume. (She runs in and quickly puts on her costume. She comes out with a sack and she is Purple Pastry.)
Sophie: I’m Purple Pastry, the damsel in distress that Danger Unicorn saves from the horrors of glue!
Mark (Looks down at his costume): Figures.
Emily: Let’s just head out.
Willy: Wait, what about your dad finding out?
Sophie: Oh yeah (Grabs one of the scarecrow decorations, puts it in a long cloak and puts it at the ticket stand.)
Mark: Okay now let’s go! (They head out.)
(There is a montage of them trick or treating, getting candy and having a good time. The scene transitions to Moe who is doing tricks to hand out candy.)
Kid: Where’s my candy?
Moe: Why in your ear (Pulls it out of his ear).
Kid: It’s gross now (Throws it on the ground and storms off angrily).
Denise: Didn’t I tell you the ear trick was not good for handing out candy.
Moe: I just wanted to be clever. What’s the worst that could happen (Pans out to see that their house is covered in toilet paper).
(Back with the kids, they are walking out of one guy’s house.)
Mark: And what did you get Sophie?
Sophie: I got a rock (Pulls it out and it’s a rock).
Mark. Willy and Emily: Me too (Pulls out their rocks).
Emily: Who gives out rocks anyway? Are people just running out of ideas?
(Pans back to the guy at the house who is dancing happily.)
Guy: HA HA! You asked Trick or Treat, and I chose trick! Take that society!
(Pans back to the kids.)
Sophie: Other than that, I had an awesome trick or treat! I can’t believe what I’ve been missing out on for 9 years! (Carrying bag.) Does a sack always get this full of candy?
Willy: Yes, and if we went out earlier, it would be even more full.
Sophie: Why didn’t we get out earlier?
Mark: Because the preschoolers get first dibs. They get to go out at 3 all because they don’t want them out past their bedtimes.
(Wayne walks by them dressed like a scientist with a wagon full of candy.)
Wayne: Hooray, I’m gonna get so many cavities next week! (He walks off)
(The group goes back to Sophie’s mansion where the scarecrow is still sitting. Sophie gets back in the spot.)
Sophie: Well I guess you guys can go home.
Mark: Yeah I guess we should.
Willy: I don’t know Mark, I kind of think we should go through the haunted house.
Mark: Are you serious? Do you know what’s in there?
Willy: Not a clue. But that’s the best part of it.
Emily: But this even scared the 5th graders.
(Some 5th graders come running out of the house screaming.)
5th Graders: MOMMY!
Willy: That’s no big deal. Besides, if we can go through it that means we become better than them.
Sophie: I don’t know if that’s a good idea.
Willy: Why not?
Sophie: Because my dad claims what’s in there is so scary, it made this jack-o-lantern cry (Turns around a jack-o-lantern and it’s sad with the stuff in it as tears).
Willy: Pfff, it was probably already crying. Come on, let’s go in (Willy goes in).
Mark and Emily: Hey wait up! (follows him)
Sophie: Wait, you’ll need me to get around this house! (Follows them in)
(Back at the Walker’s house, Moe is doing another trick for the trick or treaters.)
Moe: And now, what I pull out of my hat will not just be a rabbit, but a zombie rabbit (Pulls Ronald out of his hat, and he starts acting like a zombie and walking up to the kids. They all scream and run off.)
Moe: Oh come on, that trick was amazing!
Denise (walks up to him): Congrats on scarring those kids for life.
Moe: Hey at least Ronald had fun (Ronald is still walking like a zombie).
(Transition to the group is in the haunted house as Mark, Emily and Sophie catch up to Willy.)
Mark: Willy, I don’t think it’s a good idea.
Emily: Yeah, I don’t think we’re ready for this yet.
Sophie: And I don’t want to see you guys have nightmares!
Willy: Oh come on, are you chicken?
Mark: No, he is (Points to a kid walking into the house dressed like a chicken and offscreen, he gets frightened and runs out of the house).
Emily: Well if you’re so brave, why don’t you go in yourself!
Willy: Uh, because I wanna protect you guys.
Mark: Oh come on, that’s an obvious excuse for being scared.
Willy: Okay fine, maybe I am scared but I wanna try this out. It might make me braver.
Mark: If you go, I’ll go in too. But I’ll probably hate myself in the morning.
Emily: I’m coming too. You know so in case this is amazing I’m not missing out.
Sophie: And I’ll go to stop everything in case it’s too much.
Mark: Alright (gulp) let’s go in.
(They go in.)
(They are walking through the darkness of the house with fear yet confidence on their faces.)
Mark: Okay, so far so good.
Willy: Nothing too bad.
Emily: This is pretty easy.
Sophie: A little dark but fine.
(Suddenly thunder is heard. This causes them to jump and yelp.)
Emily: Oh great Willy thanks for jinxing us.
Willy: Hey I didn’t know. Just be happy it happened after we got our candy.
(A voice is heard.)
Voice: Give me your candy.
Willy: No! You shall never touch my candy!
Voice: Then I’m coming for you!
Willy: Oh yeah! Well I can take you! Bring it on!
(Willy then falls down.)
Mark: Willy are you okay? Willy?
(They look and see that he’s not there and only his maraca is left.)
Emily: Okay Willy, that’s not funny. Now come out.
(They hear Willy’s screams.)
Sophie: Oh no! They got him!
(They all scream and run into a closet.)
Mark: We should be safe in here.
Sophie: No scary monsters or ghosts should find us in here.
Mark: But isn’t this haunted house not have any actual ghosts or monsters? Isn’t it just a scary show?
Sophie: My dad can afford many things.
Emily: Wait, you’re saying it could be real?
Sophie: I don’t know!
Emily: It’s fine, as long as I have you right Robin? (Looks for the raven but it’s gone) Where’s Robin?
Emily: The stuffed bird I had with me.
Mark: That wasn’t a robin, that was a raven.
Emily: What? WHAAAAA! (Runs out of the closet screaming.)
Emily: ROBIN RAVEN OR WHOEVER YOU ARE, WHERE ARE YOU?!
Mark: Come back here Emily! (Mark and Sophie chase after her)
(Mark and Sophie run for a while until her screaming stops. They look down and find the raven.)
Sophie: Well here’s the raven. But where’s Emily?
Mark: Probably not to be seen… Nevermore (lightning effect).
Sophie: What are we gonna do?
Mark: We’ll have to stand our guard and face whatever comes at us. Danger Unicorn always does that.
Sophie: Well Purple Pastry never does that!
Mark: She did in episode 65.
Sophie: Oh yeah. That episode had everything including creepy magicians.
Mark: Let’s just try to investigate the source of this.
(They both walk along searching for the source.)
Sophie: You heard me House, come out and get us. We’re two children ready to be scared!
(From behind her, Mark falls.)
Sophie: Mark are you okay?
(He’s gone. All that remains is the unicorn horn.)
Sophie (Gasp): Oh no. I’m all alone! I have to face the horrors of my own house!
(The door creeks and lightning flashes. In the flash, Sophie sees a figure. The figure starts moving closer to her.)
Sophie: Uh, come at me creature! I can take you!
(The figure moves closer.)
Sophie: You think you’re so tough? (mumbles) I hope you’re not.
(The figure moves closer. Sophie is shaking until she gets an idea.)
Sophie (Gasp): Wait.
(She digs through her sack until she finds the rock from earlier.)
Sophie: TAKE THAT! (She throws the rock which the figure dodges. However, the rock hits what looks to be a machine, which causes it to short circuit and everything to go haywire. The lights turn on and a bunch of machines are revealed.)
(Some doors on the floor open to reveal Mark, Willy and Emily stuck down there. They come back up.)
Mark: Sophie you saved us!
Emily: How did you do it?
Sophie: I honestly don’t know.
(She looks over at the figure and it turns out to be her dad. He looks at her and panics.)
Samuel: Uh, pay no attention to the well dressed man backing out of the room.
Willy: Isn’t that your dad?
Sophie: Yes, and I have something to say to him.
Sophie: Daddy? What’s going on.
(Samuel stops backing up and sighs.)
Samuel: I was trying to give you a test.
Sophie: A test?
Samuel: A test, to see if you can brave the haunted house. If you pass, I would let you go trick or treating. I see you went out anyway.
Sophie (Looks down at her sack and hides it and blushes): Oh.
Samuel: That doesn’t matter. You passed anyway.
Sophie: But how did I pass? I destroyed your haunted house. Or rather, the machine controlling all of it (Looks over at the now broken machine).
Samuel: Oh I can buy a new one. The point is, you stood up to the fear in the house. Not many kids can do that.
Sophie (Realizes what she did): Oh yeah, I guess I did.
Samuel: You can go trick or treating next year.
Sophie (Hugs Samel): Thanks Daddy.
(Pans back to the other 3 kids.)
Emily: This has been an interesting Halloween.
Willy: Yeah. Wanna go to Mark’s house and trade our candy.
Mark: Race you all (They race off to Mark’s house).
(Back and the Walker household, Moe is doing one last trick to the trick or treaters.)
Kid: Where’s the candy?
Moe: Well now you see it (Makes candy disappear). Now you don’t!
Kids: BOO! YOU STINK!
(All the kids take out rocks and throw it at him.)
Moe: Whaa seriously? Rocks? Who gives out rocks.
One of the kids: Tell me about it (All the kids walk off as the 3 main kids enter the house).
Mark: I see you’re having your typical Halloween Dad.
Moe (On the ground): Unfortunately.
Denise: Now before you trade candy, make sure you check every piece, or you might get a splinter.
Mark: Ha ha that’s a funny bit Mom.
Denise: No seriously have you seen what some people put in there candy?’
Mark: Oh come on no they don’t (Pulls one out and sees that it’s full of splinters).
(Pans out to all the kids screaming.)