October 31st, 2015

Music :

1. https://soundcloud.com/officialotarine/otarine-id-270-mastering-mp3-v3/s-pdvQC
2. https://soundcloud.com/officialotarine/otarine-id-280wip-almost-finished/s-i62ol
   

With each passing day, I continue to write music or build upon concepts I once dreamed of. The impossible eventually grow
into the possible, and the dreams become reality. Small progress overtime has brought upon gigantic leaps of success in my 4 years of songwriting.

Starting out from humble beginnings, I only truly have now realized the impact of many tiny improvements overtime. From the desperation, the longing, to emulate popular music conventions and be popular as well. I've grown to desire something much more important than simply materialistic impressions from populations that will forget me in time. I've come to desire something much more emotional and intimate than before : I want to make music from the heart.

It all started with the "Felicity"-era music I had created in 2014. It was when I had first pursued an emotional product that conveys something so much more than just "catchy". I desired to create miraculous pieces of music art, where the product evokes emotion within the audience. This was reached with minimal success.

Although my ideas were good, my production was sloppy and definitely not as good as before.

And yet, I cannot help but feel something special with my "Felicity" music.

Being my first attempt at concept-yet-danceable music, it was but a rough draft of my music to come. I improved production-wise as well as theory-wise and the result can be heard within my new music. My new songs (such as the Fall Apart remix, and The Mirror remix- both released) have been met with critical acclaim, people love it!

But then again, why does it feel like they don't amass to the same quality as the stuff I made in 2014?

Why has my music gotten even more professional yet lose what "Felicity" and "Falling Snow" had had?

That is the question I ask myself every single day. I cannot say it is because of sentimentality, because the acquaintances around me have also shared the same thoughts. I try so hard to keep balance between my emotional desire that started with Felicity, and the professional sound brought upon by my own successes. But that raises a question...

Is it possible that the more professional one gets, the farther they are from true emotion music?

True, I have tried my best to evoke emotion and "feels" as much as Felicity, and my new music still sounds much less artificial and forced compared to my music pre-2014, but Felicity continues to be the wave of music I listen to time and time again. Definitely not for nostalgia's sake, as I hold no nostalgia for my older music, I fail to see a reasonable argument for that.

But maybe it's because my old, amateur, messier-sounding music had the great ideas that were not limited by proper chord progressions, proper melodies, and "proper" music.

Alas, that is also proven wrong, as I have created something professional, yet unconventional, but also emotional, and personal.

Demolished were my beliefs that professionalism cannot still have feeling, as I have witnessed myself the hints of personality that are ever-so outpouring within my newer music.

Rather, the experience of a year has actually evolved my belief of "professional" music. For why do people believe that professionalism cannot exist within the same realm of personal desire and emotion? Why do we feel the need to conceal personality in order to feel like a professional? Can there not be a compromise between the two sides that brings us to a better and much more improved personal self, as well as product? Coming-of-age and success stories all beg the question of whether professionalism and personalization are two different realms.

What I like to believe today, is that one can achieve the "professional" improvements of experience and understanding, yet still be able to conserve the creative, yet unconventional, dreams found within the youth. One can always be a youth, be it to a new field of work, or a new art medium.

In conclusion, I'd have to say that one must always hold onto the ideas of youth, but find their own comfortable way to blend it with the mastering of their respective art: something we know as the "professional" side.

...

I had forgotten it is halloween.

Oops.

Sorry for pretentious rambling.

This was a mistake.