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The Year From Hell


DoctorMcCrimmon

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Okay, so I know I said life has been beating me down, so I'll tell those who are curious. If you don't care, you don't have to read. That's why I put it in a separate blog.

 

In early May, my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. That in and of itself has been a roller coaster. Between treatments and complications - we almost lost him in August, and he hasn't been back to work since - it's been hard. My check is the only income we have coming in right now, which isn't much considering our upcoming convention. Every Thanksgiving, we go to Chicago TARDIS, and since this is probably my dad's last year, I'm trying to make it awesome. Unfortunately, that requires time and money for costumes and planning, not to mention tickets for autographs, photos, and hotel.

 

If that wasn't sucky enough, my idiot sister (who decided to get herself knocked up by some a-hole that tried to control her and used their baby as a manipulation tool) moved back home, too. With her one year old. Well, he's one now. They moved back here in late June. She is a loud-mouth who did NOT have any right to have a child. She can barely handle herself. Which means my mum is stuck dealing with the kid. He's as loud and annoying as his mum. He gets into everything. And between my sister and my nephew, I barely have a moment's peace. I'm just lucky I have a good mic that only picks up my voice and not the background sounds.

 

So... My dad has been poorly for months, in and out of hospital, barely able to get out, the rare occasions he does. This has made him crankier than usual. Add to that my sister and her kid, and my mum is beyond stressed. She has no job because she has to take care of my nephew because my sister has a shoddy job that barely gives her twenty hours a week if she's lucky. But she refuses to get more hours or find a better job, and my mum can't, between dealing with her, the kid, and my dad...

 

My house is hell right now. To top it off, my own hours are being cut, and I'm SOL with it. And my Chameleon just died this morning. He was fine when I went to work, I came home and he was dead in his water dish. And I'm the only one in my family who can't cry. I can't fall apart, because I'm the only one who can keep stoic while everyone else breaks down. I'm the one who has to be strong so no one else has to. My dad usually is, too... but he's sick, and scared, and I don't blame him. But I'm at the ends of my ropes, and the only thing keeping me from falling is the brief catharsis I gain from my weekly shows and the excitement of the upcoming convention.

 

On the plus side, it seems Voice Acting is my special talent.
My entire family is full of judgemental people. Everything I do is never good enough. My singing? My dad likens it to a murder killing anything I try to sing. My art? My dad, my paternal grandmother (before she died), and my aunt all criticise it, pointing out everything that's wrong and telling me it's a waste of time, I won't make money off of it. My mum and her parents are contantly on my case about taking my art to a professional, so they can laugh in my face the way the rest of my family does... Voice Acting is the only thing I do that actually gets any acceptance in my family, on either side. And my mum's side now keeps getting on my case about getting paid for it, when it doesn't work that way, but they don't listen....

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