IF you really think so, you might want to get tested for it. If diagnosed, it could open up many reasources to you that would help you succeed and acclimate.

The line of what makes an aspie is kind of vague, but you do sound like a classic example of someone with autism. I also think you should definitely get tested, even if it wasn't a big revelation or something that changed my life once I found out, it still was calming to know for sure that I had Asperger's. Besides, as Commander Tangent said, it might open up resources to help you acclimate, even if it turns out you aren't. 

Yeah, do get a doctor's thought on it. I'm not an aspie but I have regular autism alongside bipolar II, and from experience, once you have a doctor's diagnosis, that opens a lot of things for you.

As someone who IS diagnosed with Asperger's Autism, I feel I have to ask you a question, if I may...

What is the purpose of being considered Autistic?

I mean, why are you so adamant on insisting you have it?  Many of the symptoms you admit point to autism, but one could just as easily attribute them to minor tremors, mild paranoia and OCD... what would be the point of having yourself declared autistic?

Many people nowadays claim Asperger's simply to use it as an excuse for any behavior they might decide to engage in.  

"Oh, did I call you stupid?  Sorry - Asperger's."

"You're mad at me because I'm staring at you?  Sorry - Asperger's."

"You don't like my opinion?  Well, I have Asperger's, so you're being insensitive!"

You might be surprised at just HOW OFTEN this is done.  I, for one, HATE HATE HATE the practice of Autistics who hide behind their diagnosis, treating it like a combination All-Access Pass and Excuse Note for anything that they might want.  Doing this is what has cheapened the diagnosis in the first place, as more and more people who deal with Asperger's use it as an excuse instead of an explanation.

Wanting to be a part of the Autistic Community?  Then BE a part of it.  Be active in their discussions, chat with them and get to know them personally - you don't NEED to be Autistic to be a friend to those who are.  There's simply no reason to NOT be involved in such a community, but you shouldn't WANT a label just to feel as though you belong.

Having the diagnosis WILL NOT change the way you see your life; it won't make things better, nor will it make things more fair OR more real OR more bearable.  It might help some folks understand what you're going through a bit more, and it might also get you some extra attention - but ultimately, it's merely a label.  A label that looks quite enticing, but STILL a label, all the same.

Trust me, speaking as an almost 40 year old person who has experienced a few things in life, it's FAR better to simply allow yourself to BE YOURSELF.  Quirks, idiosyncrasies, weird habits and other strangeness are simply what makes a person HUMAN; it's called 'personality', and frankly, you seem chock full of it.

Yes, that's a compliment.

Humans have this strange habit of trying to name things - as a race, we're OBSESSED with it.  Think of all the planets and stars we've named, all the species of living creatures, all the bacteria and flora and fauna... humanity is completely taken with the idea that we HAVE to label things.

Humans even label other humans... which, essentially, is all the diagnosis of Asperger's truly is: a label.  And NOT a flattering one.

My advice to you is to not worry so much about getting diagnosed.  Unless you just want people to look at you sideways, pity you or use it for an excuse, there's really no benefit in having yourself labelled.  To be honest, it's more of a detriment than an assist.

If you're looking to get diagnosed so you can feel like you fit in, allow me to inform you that it WILL NOT HAPPEN THAT WAY.  Fitting into human society is something we want, as humans are social creatures by nature, but wanting to belong so much that you're wanting to be labelled for the rest of your life is NOT the proverbial Key To The Executive Washroom; all it ever got me was a difficult time getting a job.

People should accept you for who you are - including yourself.  From all I've read above, I don't see someone suffering from Asperger's, but someone who is imperfect, somewhat shaken, a bit odd... but, all in all, a wonderful human being.  It's the FLAWS of a person - and how they deal with those flaws - that truly define the kind of person you are.

Me?  I don't use my Asperger's for ANYTHING - I usually keep the fact I have it either to myself, or mention it in passing.  I try to take personal responsibility for ALL my actions, logically breaking down WHY I did a thing and HOW I got to the decision to do so.  

I define my Asperger's, but I refuse to allow it to define ME.

As to the above, I am NOT saying you aren't Autistic - instead, I'm saying that you might rather choose to simply be the way you are WITHOUT labels... because, unfortunately, labels tend to be forever.  What seems so certain at a young age might be a BIG mistake when you reach the twilight of your life.

Because of MY label (which, by the way, was reverse-diagnosed from my son), I've been seen as a "moron who don't know any better", a "simpleton", and an "entitled dumbass" - and that was only because I admitted it to these people, not because it was a critical point or anything.  For the rest of my life, there will be people who will judge me SOLELY on this one label, and they'll always be convinced that I'm incompetent and incapable... and believe me, that feels FAR more humiliating and frustrating than you'd believe.

My advice is to read up on Psychology and Human Behavior Patterns; find the "whys and hows" of what you're feeling, then explore yourself and your mentality.  WHY do you do what you do?  Not to stop it... but to perhaps understand it better.  Get a grip on it.  Familiarize yourself with it, to the point where you can feel or see your reaction coming and can possibly take steps to stop it or lessen its' impact.

Do what you can to AVOID a label, because you can't peel off this one.  It might seem like the "help" you'll get would be worth it, but here's something they DON'T tell you - that "help" doesn't come without a price.  Medical expenses, time and effort, mild to grand humiliation... oh, and let's not forget the fact that there's not a single, solitary guarantee that you'll get ANY kind of help whatsoever.

Bottom line, here: You do NOT need to be diagnosed with Asperger's Autism; instead, you should simply chuckle at yourself, say "well, I suppose I am what I am", and run with it.  Explore the world around (and within) you.  Learn about yourself from YOU, the highest authority on such.  Live a little.  Love a little.  Laugh a little.  You're a living, breathing being, and there's nothing wrong with acting like it.

Don't reduce yourself to a blurb or label - you deserve BETTER than that from life.  

As someone who IS diagnosed with Asperger's Autism, I feel I have to ask you a question, if I may...

 

What is the purpose of being considered Autistic?

 

I mean, why are you so adamant on insisting you have it?  Many of the symptoms you admit point to autism, but one could just as easily attribute them to minor tremors, mild paranoia and OCD... what would be the point of having yourself declared autistic?

 

Many people nowadays claim Asperger's simply to use it as an excuse for any behavior they might decide to engage in.  

 

"Oh, did I call you stupid?  Sorry - Asperger's."

 

"You're mad at me because I'm staring at you?  Sorry - Asperger's."

 

"You don't like my opinion?  Well, I have Asperger's, so you're being insensitive!"

 

You might be surprised at just HOW OFTEN this is done.  I, for one, HATE HATE HATE the practice of Autistics who hide behind their diagnosis, treating it like a combination All-Access Pass and Excuse Note for anything that they might want.  Doing this is what has cheapened the diagnosis in the first place, as more and more people who deal with Asperger's use it as an excuse instead of an explanation.

 

Wanting to be a part of the Autistic Community?  Then BE a part of it.  Be active in their discussions, chat with them and get to know them personally - you don't NEED to be Autistic to be a friend to those who are.  There's simply no reason to NOT be involved in such a community, but you shouldn't WANT a label just to feel as though you belong.

 

Having the diagnosis WILL NOT change the way you see your life; it won't make things better, nor will it make things more fair OR more real OR more bearable.  It might help some folks understand what you're going through a bit more, and it might also get you some extra attention - but ultimately, it's merely a label.  A label that looks quite enticing, but STILL a label, all the same.

 

Trust me, speaking as an almost 40 year old person who has experienced a few things in life, it's FAR better to simply allow yourself to BE YOURSELF.  Quirks, idiosyncrasies, weird habits and other strangeness are simply what makes a person HUMAN; it's called 'personality', and frankly, you seem chock full of it.

 

Yes, that's a compliment.

 

Humans have this strange habit of trying to name things - as a race, we're OBSESSED with it.  Think of all the planets and stars we've named, all the species of living creatures, all the bacteria and flora and fauna... humanity is completely taken with the idea that we HAVE to label things.

 

Humans even label other humans... which, essentially, is all the diagnosis of Asperger's truly is: a label.  And NOT a flattering one.

 

My advice to you is to not worry so much about getting diagnosed.  Unless you just want people to look at you sideways, pity you or use it for an excuse, there's really no benefit in having yourself labelled.  To be honest, it's more of a detriment than an assist.

 

If you're looking to get diagnosed so you can feel like you fit in, allow me to inform you that it WILL NOT HAPPEN THAT WAY.  Fitting into human society is something we want, as humans are social creatures by nature, but wanting to belong so much that you're wanting to be labelled for the rest of your life is NOT the proverbial Key To The Executive Washroom; all it ever got me was a difficult time getting a job.

 

People should accept you for who you are - including yourself.  From all I've read above, I don't see someone suffering from Asperger's, but someone who is imperfect, somewhat shaken, a bit odd... but, all in all, a wonderful human being.  It's the FLAWS of a person - and how they deal with those flaws - that truly define the kind of person you are.

 

Me?  I don't use my Asperger's for ANYTHING - I usually keep the fact I have it either to myself, or mention it in passing.  I try to take personal responsibility for ALL my actions, logically breaking down WHY I did a thing and HOW I got to the decision to do so.  

 

I define my Asperger's, but I refuse to allow it to define ME.

 

As to the above, I am NOT saying you aren't Autistic - instead, I'm saying that you might rather choose to simply be the way you are WITHOUT labels... because, unfortunately, labels tend to be forever.  What seems so certain at a young age might be a BIG mistake when you reach the twilight of your life.

 

Because of MY label (which, by the way, was reverse-diagnosed from my son), I've been seen as a "moron who don't know any better", a "simpleton", and an "entitled dumbass" - and that was only because I admitted it to these people, not because it was a critical point or anything.  For the rest of my life, there will be people who will judge me SOLELY on this one label, and they'll always be convinced that I'm incompetent and incapable... and believe me, that feels FAR more humiliating and frustrating than you'd believe.

 

My advice is to read up on Psychology and Human Behavior Patterns; find the "whys and hows" of what you're feeling, then explore yourself and your mentality.  WHY do you do what you do?  Not to stop it... but to perhaps understand it better.  Get a grip on it.  Familiarize yourself with it, to the point where you can feel or see your reaction coming and can possibly take steps to stop it or lessen its' impact.

 

Do what you can to AVOID a label, because you can't peel off this one.  It might seem like the "help" you'll get would be worth it, but here's something they DON'T tell you - that "help" doesn't come without a price.  Medical expenses, time and effort, mild to grand humiliation... oh, and let's not forget the fact that there's not a single, solitary guarantee that you'll get ANY kind of help whatsoever.

 

Bottom line, here: You do NOT need to be diagnosed with Asperger's Autism; instead, you should simply chuckle at yourself, say "well, I suppose I am what I am", and run with it.  Explore the world around (and within) you.  Learn about yourself from YOU, the highest authority on such.  Live a little.  Love a little.  Laugh a little.  You're a living, breathing being, and there's nothing wrong with acting like it.

 

Don't reduce yourself to a blurb or label - you deserve BETTER than that from life.  

That does make sense, but I'm still in a stage of my life where I'm trying to figure out who I am kind of, even though the end of that probably isn't far off. I've tried to figure out who I really am and not just follow the Jones' (if you don't know that's a saying that basically means you do everything the popular kids do) my entire life. I unfortunately did have to use labels to figure it out (and quite a few somewhat unsavory ones I may add. This isn't the only one).

I felt the need to post this because I felt like I wanted a viewpoint on my take on it, I guess. Though in hindsight (even though I posted this last night), I'm starting to be unsure what really drove me to post it other than watching Lockstin (Youtuber) talk about the Super Smash Bros. Series being about an autistic child (by the way it's probably the best video-game centered theory video on Youtube, and I've watched them pretty obsessively!).

Also, about the middle part or so where you mentioned people calling you a dumba**- Even with criticism, I would still rather be myself than anyone else (Even Samus Aran!). I have been called many a thing before and I have realized over that time that what society sees you as is much less important than what you really are. I learned this by experiencing so much ridicule from a young age (I was bullied from elementary all the way through high school, even by some that told me they were my "friends") that it really doesn't matter if people see you badly. Though that seems like what you might be trying to infer as your main point of the comment...

What matters most is being comfortable in the skin you're in... and it sounds like you're already a number of steps down that road.

I understand quite a bit; I was also tormented all through school, and as I had a pacifist mindset, I endured a LOT of beatings and humiliation.  Name calling, backstabbing, lying, slander, and physical bullying were hallmarks of my school years... but, essentially, it only made me more durable.

My durability has been tested over and over again since those days, and it has NOT been found lacking.

I'm all for self-exploration - it's the only way anyone can ever truly KNOW themselves.  Even the gender exploration is all fine and good, because you should decide for yourself who and what you are.

I just wanted to let you know, from the perspective of someone who's already been down a similar road, that it's far better in the long run to avoid labels... but that shouldn't stop you from defining yourself.

I'm glad you received my words well - I was a bit worried you'd think I was trying to upset you or dig at you; quite the contrary, as I was simply trying to encourage you to look past the need for labels.

Thank you for your time... and your respect.  *humbly bows*

What matters most is being comfortable in the skin you're in... and it sounds like you're already a number of steps down that road.

 

I understand quite a bit; I was also tormented all through school, and as I had a pacifist mindset, I endured a LOT of beatings and humiliation.  Name calling, backstabbing, lying, slander, and physical bullying were hallmarks of my school years... but, essentially, it only made me more durable.

 

My durability has been tested over and over again since those days, and it has NOT been found lacking.

 

I'm all for self-exploration - it's the only way anyone can ever truly KNOW themselves.  Even the gender exploration is all fine and good, because you should decide for yourself who and what you are.

 

I just wanted to let you know, from the perspective of someone who's already been down a similar road, that it's far better in the long run to avoid labels... but that shouldn't stop you from defining yourself.

 

I'm glad you received my words well - I was a bit worried you'd think I was trying to upset you or dig at you; quite the contrary, as I was simply trying to encourage you to look past the need for labels.

 

Thank you for your time... and your respect.  *humbly bows*

I didn't perceive the all-caps well, but I got the message.

Thanks for the input. It was well appreciated. =)

I can relate to a lot of things on this list. As a fellow person with Asperger's, I have low self-esteem and am very socially awkward. My "handwriting" is awful, my math skills are horrible and have been extremely reclusive after I graduated from high school for a very good reason.

A great deal of my high school "friends" weren't my friends to begin with and I came to that realisation just months after I graduated.

I'm sorry for venting but that's what I feel my life has been for the past few years.

I can relate to a lot of things on this list. As a fellow person with Asperger's, I have low self-esteem and am very socially awkward. My "handwriting" is awful, my math skills are horrible and have been extremely reclusive after I graduated from high school for a very good reason.

 

A great deal of my high school "friends" weren't my friends to begin with and I came to that realisation just months after I graduated.

 

I'm sorry for venting but that's what I feel my life has been for the past few years.

I actually am really good at math, as I mentioned. I blazed my classmates badly when it came to multiplication charts. I was also the only male (not boy, really) to go into the optional Calculus class, and I was probably the only one who did more than half of the questions on the end of the year AP exam. I also made it to a state-level academic event in a event that involves really fast mental math. I almost made it twice more.

Yeah I realized that one of my main friends throughout high school was just bullying me. I finally got fed up with his junk (even though he did actually legit save my life at a waterpark. I am so afraid of deep water that I can't swim) and ditched him. I deliberately sat by myself for a day, and then I sat again with my friends at the nerd table (a table of mostly otakus, but there were three pegasisters (including myself in that category)). I usually always tried to stay alone anyways, because I always felt I was the only person I knew personally who'd understand all the peculiarities of mine, the many of them. I was probably voted "Most Shy" and "Most Unique" (male lists) in my class likely by everyone. It showed when teachers even offered me a tux for prom and I still didn't go, because I didn't want to. I also didn't put my last name on the back of my Letterman's Jacket. (I only put my name on the front so that way people still knew who's jacket it was).

Venting isn't a problem. I end up needing to do so quite a bit... Plus, it was pretty relevant to the topic.