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been thinking


碇 シンジン

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I probably shouldnt let the small things interfere with my well being but seeing that the follower system is pretty much screwed is kinda irritating me to the point that im not sure if i can make reasonable decisions so im trying to not to do anything for a while and see how things will turn out.

It kinda irritated me before in the old system and now seeing that i could've fixed it in the old system and i just chose to  run away kinda makes it even more irritating as im not even sure if it can be fixed anymore other than poniverse getting more stuff  behind the site

so im just going to be here and somewhere not really doing anything since it irritates me and kinda just trying to stay calm though i dont know really what i can do anymore othar than really stop caring but i really feel that i care about it more than i should.

I've been trying to think around it in different perspectives and point of views but i cant really find a solution my previous decision was that i kinda dropped my activity on the site and kinda was away from here for a while though there were other circumstances that led to that decision too but i think this was the last nail in the coffin back then.

I thought the site update would provide me with a new start but as im seeing now it only made my situation worse and im not sure how to react to that because i really like the new update as far as the mechanics and the Layout go and i wanted to be part of this community again. I really wouldnt want to let this issue to make me so unsatisfied with the site again so much that i go inactive again.

This  site has helped me so much over the years and i've progressed a lot from when i first joined here and i've met lot of good friends and i really shouldn't be feeling like this over something that is very insignificant when you are looking at the bigger picture, but i cant really help how i feel about these things and  there is a conflict between my feeling and the reasonable thught and i m not sure what is the outcome.

I dont know if writing this helps me but usually it has helped me when i shared my thought or feeling and i can have peace in my mind after that .

 

  • Brohoof 2

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