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The reason I stay

Sassy Sweet

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Whenever I am on an MLP fandom forum, the question inevitably comes up.  Why am I an adult fan?  Everyone has their reasons, I am a bit more blase about giving some of the reasons that others may be more used to hearing.

I was a wildly obsessed with it when I was a little kid.  I mean, come on, what little girl who grew up in the 80s and 90s is not willing to admit to loving all the colorful designs, cutesy names and themes, and styling the manes and tails of the pretty little ponies?  But little girls grow out of the "girly" stage and the cartoons and movies themselves lost their appeal.  But I was also a collector from a young age.  I collected ponies like other kids collected rocks, cards, and coins.  Every new design that came out, I had to have because COMPLETED COLLECTION!!!

Unfortunately, I moved quite a little bit.  So when I found out that people were buying up ponies I had sold previously at yard sales for like $2.00 a piece, I started keeping an eye on the market like the ever opportunistic preteen I had become.

And then we come to our first really personal reason.  When I was thirteen, I went through a streak where I stayed sick.  I also learned that you don't just get mono from kissing.  You can pick it up from sharing drinks if your immune system is weak enough.  As I fought off mono, I also developed a sinus infection that my shitty doctor didn't do a very good job of monitoring.  It got so bad that it abscessed and fluid started backing up and pressing against my brain to the point it was also affecting my motor skills on the right side of my body, making it weak to total paralyzation for minutes at a time.  I had to go to the hospital and have a major surgery.  In an even worse twist of events, I turned out to be highly allergic to the only antibiotic that treated the infection.  By the time everything was said and done, they said there was a 73% chance that I would never regain all of my movement.  I hated having to do physical therapy but my mom remembered that I loved doing my ponies hairstyles.  It required more fine motor skills than things like Barbies, so she would bring one in every few days.  Since it was something I had done before and I could stop when I wanted, it didn't feel like physical therapy and she made sure never to call it that.  I have to give her credit, parents can be crafty when it comes to the health of their kid.

I ended up having my own daughter in 2008, Ariana.  I was young, younger than I should have been.  I also was in no way prepared.  I did some pretty horrible things to myself and my body.  I was told that my chances of even getting pregnant were slim to none and if I ever did manage to get pregnant, the chances were even less that I'd be able to carry to term.  I had nine months of hell and complications.  I had what is called a postpartum hemorrhage after delivery so I didn't even get to hold her right away.  I'd wake up two days later in ICU and on massive pain killers so I was afraid to hold her for too long when I finally could.  A therapist would tell me later that I missed out on a "crucial bonding" stage.  Whenever she was a toddler, I happily used the television as a babysitter.  I stumbled across Friendship is Magic.  She was enthralled by the songs and colors; I was happy to have a moment of peace.  I started out only halfway watching it when it was on.  I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't the same sickeningly sweet show from my own childhood.  It was a reboot I could actually tolerate. 

As she grew up, so did the stories.  I was going to school for a creative writing degree so whenever she would ask for bedtime story, I took it as an opportunity.  It started off with a character called Northern Lights and her sister Diamond Dust.  They would paint the skies with beautiful effects and were students of Luna, like Twilight was to Celestia.  Eventually, she would start adding to the story too.  We made a game out of it.  We would give each other a name and have to come up with a character... a cutie mark, their special talent, their job.  I had spent so much of her days being distant and being more of a passive parent.  And here is this show that was growing with us, with her.  Locations, types of characters, more elements to stories than just friendship lessons... it became our ritual, our special thing and it continues to be.

Now we have 8 sets of our own characters, in our own little worlds.  And even more characters who they may make an appearance here and there.  I'm currently doing even more with it than she knows.  I know it will never be "official" and a lot of it goes against canon, which I get a lot of crap for, but I'm working on making her her own book based entirely on fandom of our own works with some ideas taken from other big fandom things like Siansaar's, an artist on DA and world builder who has done a lot with changelings and a lot from the IDW comics.

So yeah... I guess as first entries in a blog go, this works well.  It's telling, a little personally revealing, and gives me something to look back on to keep me going when I start to doubt myself.  I'm a fan of MLP but it has become less and less about the show and more about what it has turned into.

 

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That is quite a tale you have there Sassy. I smiled as I read the tales of bonding over bed time stories, there is something truly wonderful about the show we all enjoy, hope you can stay here a while longer and make some nice memories.

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I think this is such a sweet reason to be involved with the show and fandom. And, building up a little world with your daughter is just such an amazing thing. I don't get why people would give you grief over it not being specifically canon; it seems like such a huge part of the show/shows like it to enjoy it for your own reasons and make of it what you will. If you can expand it, change it, or make it more personal to you somehow, that just seems like a great thing to pursue.

And, creating a book out of y'all's tales just seems amazing. ♥

I personally largely joined up mostly due to the show/fan art, but it's become so much more about the creative community surrounding the show rather than the show itself for me. So I think I can understand a little bit of like, being a fan less for the show and more about going beyond it a bit? :fluttershy:

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