You know...no one ever told me how to make friends. I just kind of figured it out my way through trial-and-error. I was given some tips, but none of them seemed to be that helpful. So I thought today I'd make a simple guide, from what I've learned, on how to do it.

I know this blog is probably going to get sandwiched between some game review and mlp episode analysis, so this is kind of weird to write. But I do think some people on here care enough to read this so...heck, why not. It may be personal but it's worth showing others, right?

Alright, so here's the bottom line with friendship. It has to be genuine, and you have to want it for the right reasons. You should NOT want to be friends because you're lonely - otherwise, it becomes all about you. If you are a guy with a fishing rod, trying to catch a fish in the pond so you can be friends with it...then you're doing it wrong! Friendship is NOT about your needs, it's about what you can give! And what you can give will absolutely be offered right back to you if you do it right. It becomes a give-and-receive kind of thing, and that's what fosters a healthy relationship...one of mutually shared interest, one where no one is leaning on the other, but rather, are holding each other up.

Being authentic is absolutely essential to fostering a friendship. Some people have told me that to get people to like me I should think of something to compliment them on. No! Don't do this. This is bad step to make in trying to make a bond with someone because it is indubitably insincere. You should not have to think of something to compliment them on. You are not an actor. You should not memorize any kind of script to get the other person to like you, because if you are, it's not coming from the heart. First and foremost, if you want to be friends with this person in the first place...you should want it to because something about them genuinely is desirable to you. They have a quality or talent that you sincerely admire, and you should be free in your mind to compliment them on that. After all, that quality or talent they have is something you desire for yourself, so why should that praise come from anywhere but your actual thoughts?

It essential that this attribute that this person has should also be held by themselves in good esteem. If you think someone is beautiful but that person themself doesn't regard themself as such, telling them they are beautiful isn't going to elicit any positive reaction from them. They're going to see it as you trying to put on some kind of play...thinking about how you feel about them and not listening to their own feelings. If there is a positive trait about them you really like, be sure they take pride in it too! If they get embarrassed or bashful when you bring it up, then that means they don't hold that quality in the same regard that you do. They have to love themselves through that quality they have...and have you notice it too, in order for a healthy friendship to form between the two of you.

Now, this doesn't have to be big things. Let's say you know someone who loves to be crazy and spontaneous. If you really like how they are, let them know. They will greatly appreciate your honesty and interest in them. They will likely pick out things about you that they like too. 

If, for example, Joe takes great pride in his writing abilities, and you notice what he's written and actually, genuinely like it...go tell him why you liked it and how terrific you think it is. He's going to be all over you for that. The more you appreciate his work, the more fun it will be for you and him to talk about it. He'll probably discuss his writing with you and, if you're sincere, you won't get bored with him going on about it. It's likely a quality you desire too, right?

The key point here is that appreciating people for who they are already is what makes them feel loved and in return, appreciative toward you. You don't have to put on a show! You don't have to act and throw out compliments because you feel complied to. Neither do you have to fish for validation, because your friend will surely appreciate you too the way you are and the way you've treated them.

I want to stress a couple things to make sure this is nailed to the wall. A friendship should not be a commitment where you and the other person lose some so that you can win some. It should be 100% natural. Friendship is the phenomenon that happens when you see someone else as yourself. Not as someone else with different motives and interests, but as someone who is mentally on your level. If you see their good side and they see yours, how can they see you in any way besides your genuine self? They will see you the way you want to see yourself, and that will allow you to give your appreciation and gratitude toward them, fostering a healthy bond.

This can work with other relationships too. With your romantic partner, it certainly is essential to see them the way they want to see themselves. They will gladly return that respect and acknowledgement for them. If you have siblings or parents that you know you could have a better relationship with, see their good traits - the ones that make you miss them when they're not around. Acknowledge those qualities, and make them known to them, and they will greatly appreciate you.

So, how do you make friends? The answer to that is really simple...see their good. DON'T put on an act, and don't behave like someone else! See them as they'd like to be, acknowledge and point out the great things about them, and they will find interest in you, I assure you.