What's up everypony, Woohoo here and welcome back to Musical Manslaughter, because you can't spell 'slaughter' without 'laughter' and these songs are jokes.
Well, here I am once again, thankfully not torn into pieces. I was expected to be eviscerated by the Swifties here on the forums after I posted my entry on "Shake it Off." I guess there aren't as many Swifties here or maybe the novelty of the song has finally worn off. Anyhoo, on my last blog, I said the next song I would tear into would be a song that claims to be a tribute song to one of the greatest singers of the last century when it's really just another song about getting laid. What's the name of the song you may ask? It's in the title of the blog, "Rage Man Ivy." Well, it's an anagram of the singer's name. I'll give you a moment to figure it out. Cue the Jeopardy music!
Times up! For those who figured it out, the answer is none other than... Marvin Gaye!
Now before you jump to conclusions... no, I'm not tearing apart a song by Marvin Gaye. I'm way above that. I'm actually tearing apart a more recent song, which, believe it or not, is actually titled "Marvin Gaye" by Charlie Puth and featuring Meghan Trainor!
I kid you not. This is an actual song! Even I can't believe this song exists. I didn't even know about this song until I saw ToddintheShadows' "Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2015" video and this song was number one... and probably for good reason. As for how much I know about these two, I don't know much about Charlie Puth, and Meghan Trainor I know about because she made the sonic shitfest that is "All About That Bass," which barely has any bass in the song.
Ok, I'm done rambling now. So why do I hate this song? Let's break it down...
With most pop songs, it usually opens with a few beats, the melody comes shortly after, then the first verse, and finally the chorus, which usually hooks the listener. Not this song, oh no... this song has the nerve to start with the damn chorus. And they're not by playing a little instrumental bit beforehand, oh no-no-no, this song instantly starts with the chorus, giving the listener little to no time to mentally prepare. As for the chorus, take a listen to this...
Let's Marvin Gaye and get it on, you are the healing that I want
Just like they say it in the song, so until the dawn, let's Marvin Gaye and get it on
Hold on for a moment please, I need to find the right gif that best describes how I feel... Ah, here we are.
What... the... actual... FUCK!? I.. I cannot believe what I just heard! I don't even know what to say right now, I'm in such shock from hearing this... abomination. Alright, I need to calm myself down before I do something unforgivable...
*inhales* Ah, much better. There is just so much wrong with this chorus but let me focus on what I think are the worst...
- How dare they... Seriously, how fucking dare they use the Prince of Soul's name as a cheap euphemism for sex! These two should be ashamed of themselves! I think I can hear Marvin rolling in his grave right now. This is just disgraceful, disgusting, despicable, disrespectful, dis-... I don't have anymore dis-words, but yeah, how insulting. I'm starting think these two have no idea who Marvin Gaye was...
- "Let's Marvin Gaye and get it on?" Wow, such clever, much genius, very amaze... No, just no. Using a singer's name as a verb? How childish! This just hurts my brain almost as much as Taylor Swift saying "this sick beat." Anyone can come up this shit! Hell, I'll even make some up of my own: Let's Iron Maiden and Run to the Hills, let's Rolling Stones and Paint It Black, let's Michael Jackson and Beat It. I think you get the idea now.
- This is me personally, but I'm not particularly fond of songs that start with the chorus. To me, it just feels like a quick and easy way to get the listener hooked to the song. As for me, most of the time, I prefer to be warmed up before I'm hooked. Another thing is it makes the chorus much more repetitive than it should and you know how much I hate that. However, I can make exceptions with some songs, such as "Paradise City" by Guns N' Roses. That song knows how to warm up the listener with Slash's dream-like guitar melody and Axl's unforgettable lyrics.
Other songs I like that start with the chorus:
- "Back in the Saddle" - Aerosmith
- "Can't Buy Me Love" - The Beatles
- "You Give Love a Bad Name" - Bon Jovi
- "If I Could Turn Back Time" - Cher
- "Any Way You Want It" - Journey
- "Crawling" - Linkin Park
- "Fuel" - Metallica
- "Fat Bottomed Girls" - Queen
I don't think I can comment any further. That chorus alone is a reason enough for me to hate this song. This is, without a doubt, one of the worst lines in the history of music, right up there with any of the lines from "Shake it Off." Also, this is one of the worst choruses I have ever heard in a song. It may not be as overly repetitive as "Shake It Off" but this chorus really takes the cake in terms of nonsensicality.
As for the other lyrics, they're not really worth talking about. It's just another pop song about sex, as if they're aren't a million of those already. If this song wasn't titled "Marvin Gaye" and did not have that atrocious chorus, I probably would've just shrugged this song off. However, during the second chorus, this line comes in...
You've got to give it up to me
I'm screaming "Mercy, mercy, please!"
Is that a reference to "Mercy, Mercy Me"? If so, are you kidding me?! "Mercy, Mercy Me" is about the environment, not sex! Are they implying that Marvin Gaye only wrote songs about sex?! Now I'm convinced that Chuck, Meg, and whoever the hell wrote this song have no idea who Marvin Gaye was. Why is this song even called "Marvin Gaye" when the lyrics aren't even about Marvin Gaye?! Wait, what if it's not the lyrics but the music that relates to Marvin Gaye? Maybe, just maybe... nope. The music sounds nothing like Marvin Gaye! He made Motown Soul while this audio atrocity of a song is just '50s do-wop mixed in with some atrocious trap drum track! Why does this song even exist?! Who allowed this to happen?! WHY AM I ASKING THESE QUESTIONS?!?!
Alright, time to wrap this up before I reach "Shake it Off" level insanity.
And that was "Marvin Gaye" by Charlie Puth and Mehgan Trainor... *Shudders* Just saying that burns my tongue. Do I hate this song? Abs-total-olutely! Is it one of the worst songs of 2015? Definitely! Here's why.
The lyrics, aside from mentioning his name and a few song titles, have absolutely nothing to do with Marvin Gaye. Same with the music, nothing to do with him either. Chuck and Meg's vocals are irritating, but I think Chuck sounds the worst. He sounds like he was recently castrated. As for Meg... no comment. It's just another pop song about sex with Marvin's name slapped on it, and quite frankly, it's probably the most unsexy sex song I have ever heard. I did hear this song a lot during 2015-early 2016, but it was nowhere near the overplayed-ness of "Shake if Off," probably because it only reached 21 on the Billboard Hot 100. The nonsensicality of this song is just astronomical. I mean writing a song called "Marvin Gaye" when it's not even about Marvin Gaye? What's the point of this song's existence?! That's greater than or as equal as nonsensical as "Shake It Off," and that song has somewhat of a reason to exist. Alright, I'll stop mentioning that song. As for any unfortunate effects on me, the only effect was getting stuck in my head, though not nearly enough as... that other song. Here's some advice: if you're going to write a song named after person, famous or not, make sure the lyrics and/or music actually relate to them.
Now for the final score. Not as bad as the last entry but still pretty bad.
That concludes this entry of Musical Manslaughter. This entry was a little less detailed than my last entry, probably because I had less history with this song. Just remember, if you like this song, that's fine, I won't hate you. For my next song I'm tearing into, I'm going back into the past. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to Metallica and Fade to Black...