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Reflection on 2012


Vexx3

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The following is a reflection on my life and experiences in the past year. Since some of it is depressing stuff, I've spoilered it since I'm not someone who likes to broadcast my troubles on the internet.

 

That's not to say, however, that all of it is a sobfest. I do include the good that has happened.

 

 

2012 has easily been one of the most turbulent years of my life. There have been more ups and downs than a seismograph reading during an earthquake. It would really be impossible for me to cover everything without spending all night doing so. I guess I will start with the bad and end with the good.

 

A good majority of this year was spent living in my first apartment. It was probably the most stressful thing I've had to deal with in just about ever. And, to make it worse, my asshole ex-roommate moved out in the middle of the lease, forcing me to pretty much empty my savings account to be able to stay until the lease was up. I had about $1400 in my savings account. By the time I left, I had $4.93. My lack of money, in combination with my dad buying a house, meant that I haven't been able to attend college in over a year.

 

I've also been very depressed just about all year. Mostly due to stress, but lately there's been another issue. For the longest time, ever since I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, I haven't given a single fuck about being in a relationship. It felt like a lost cause and the circumstances surrounding the breakup made me kind of untrusting of women and a romantic relationship. However, being a part of Tumblr (and the MLP fandom in general) for the last several months has really reopened my eyes to how great a relationship can be. And the fact that I have never really experienced a true romantic bond, well... it's been eating at me lately. To the point where I've been self-loathing. I'm 21. I still have no idea what it's like and I'm starting to truly believe that it's too late for me now. I know it's partly my fault. I just have this paralyzing fear of being the one to pop the question (granted there isn't really anyone right now that I want to ask).

 

But despite all the negative, there has been some overwhelming positives. Having my grandparents let me stay with them while I recuperated after the apartment has been a godsend. I don't know that I can ever properly thank them, but I'll sure as fuck try. I also transferred schools and will finally be going back January 28th. I never thought I'd say I was excited to go back to school, but that's exactly how I feel. What makes it better is that this school apparently has an excellent Graphic Arts program.

 

However, on top of everything, there has been the MLP fan community. I would be a horrible liar if I said that this fandom hasn't had a large impact on my life. I never thought, in a million fucking years, that one day I would be talking about how My Little Pony and it's community of avid enthusiasts have changed my life for the better. I'm not exaggerating here.

 

To start, there's the wallpaper/graphic design community that I've been apart of now since the ass end of March. I can say with infinite confidence that I've learned more in that nine months than in my previous seven years of using Photoshop. I can also say that if it weren't for this farcical band of idiots (I say that with love <3 ), I would not be pursuing graphic design as a career.

 

Then of course, there's all the friends I've made in this assembly of pony fans. Be it from the wallpaper group, MLPForums, Tumblr, etc., I would be a very lonely guy without you all.

 

And, with all that said, I'd like to finish by saying that I hope everyone has a fantastic new year!

 

(...and also sorry for the excessively long post)

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Glad to hear things are going well Vex! Life always has it's ups and downs but it really depends on how one looks at things. If you let yourself get caught up in the bad you will fail to see the good when it comes and miss it.

 

I wish you the best for the new year Vex and hope that it will be filled with joy and happiness :)

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