I quit competitive gaming, entirely. I don’t even have the motivation to make moment videos anymore. It feels like a chore. Playing competitive games is too hard. Everyone’s always trying to win. The only way to compete against that is to compete. It’s a retardedly simple idea, but I’m sure you get it. Players are only valued or respected when they’re good. From my perception, you’re only respected if you’re among the top 10% of players at local levels. At national/world levels, you have to be among the top 1%. The reward is nowhere near worth the work. The bottom 90% get NOTHING. That’s where I’ve been throughout almost all of my Smash Bros Melee career, especially on Youtube

But enough about being emo about the past. I like art. Admittedly for the clop, but there are some pictures by bronies, and even furries too, that I can easily enjoy. Sometimes I get creative ideas that I’d like to bring out and the best I can currently do are paying for them through commissions. Drawing them on my own would be fun, I imagine. So after having some art inspiration from the My Little Pony movie, I bought myself a tablet. I have no idea what any art theory words there even are, but something about the movie strikes me as very artistic. The visuals are so great to look at. Allspark did an amazing job making 3D models look like the flash animation counterpart of the show. Everything looks 2D

Then there’s also the need to do something valuable that I constantly feel. It’s why I can’t enjoy most single player games anymore. Playing them does nothing to benefit anyone. Multiplayer games do nothing good for anyone else either. What does supporting Quake Champions by merely being a player do for anyone? Give everyone 1 more player to play with online sometimes? That’s worth almost nothing, pretty much. I get that communities are shaped by many individual people. As a player and an unknown youtuber, I can’t do anything great for anyone

Art is just what I think is the best way I can do something good for others on my own strategies. I won’t be looking up any tutorials nor ask anyone for advice on how to draw well. So far, I’ve developed my own grip for holding a stylus pen. I have no idea if anyone does what I do. But from what I’ve discovered so far on my own technique is that it’s great for drawing straight along the X and Y axes. Or at least I think so. But what do I know?

For now, I’m practicing the most basic of shapes and letters to merely learn how to control a pen. Farther into the future, I imagine myself as a sketch artist. I would like to draw something that gets viewers feeling and thinking in certain ways. Maybe with a monochrome style, they can fill in the colors with their own imaginations. It’s a subtle reflection of myself, how there are so few details about me on the surface. I’m quite reserved. But I think all of you secretly know me ♥