Despite receiving development some characters never seem to learn and grow. Destined to act only within the confines of a rigid cage comprised of reckless writing, their behavior meant to amuse the viewers can easily become annoying and repetitive. In light of relative success that has been enjoyed by mind-numbing claptraps I can imagine why some would want to adopt such style for quick short term gains; however, I would advise against its application for worlds that are not lol-so-random in their design. Even in FIM whose high stakes episodes have long since been reduced into predictable waiting rooms for friendship solutions, Pinkie Pie is still capable of presenting herself as a glaring pink stain of misplaced emotions that further sways the atmosphere onto the side of expected outcome. She does this not through some clever wall-breaking Deadpool ability but through sheer emotional shallowness that is now so often mistaken for humor. In all the countless seasons, she has expressed little to no empathy or recognition of simplest behaviors while her outgoing nature has been continuously exploited for comic relief. Pinkie Pie of today is but a shell of a mindless clown stuffed with confetti and other party items. I say we cut open her bloated form and fill that empty space with clutter befitting of a main character. No more lighthearted stalking of friend and neighbor, no more dissocial masks of frigid happiness, no more idiotic cluelessness to fuel her episodes. Let us make a character beloved for her great wisdom and undying optimism stemming not from quirks but from insight.

FORSAKEN FOAL

While most pegasi fill their bellies through acts of piracy, some clansmen are still clinging to the old ways of farmers and lumberjacks. Born into a large family of haymakers belonging to the peace-loving Pie clan, Pinkie had been dealt a hard yet quiet life on green pastures below the scree and snow of unforgiving summits. Long harvests in warm sunshine, strenuous stacking of hayracks, and arduous bargaining with stingy lords had been waiting on her beyond foalhood. However, this uneventful life had not been all that had been placed into her crib. As long as she had been able to remember, little Pinkie had possessed the ability to see the unseen. Where her grandmare had discerned only an abandoned crossroads, she had observed a towering shadow grinning at her elderly escort with a maw of pale flames. Where her older sisters had noticed only still shadows beneath the staircase, the trembling filly had detected a lurking revenant drenched in crimson. Where her fellow playmates had spotted only grass and stone, she had noticed a faceless geist creeping in the mist beyond their playground. Her family had thought that she had been afflicted with an illness of the mind, so her father had decided to take her before a traveling tahr monk who had descended from a mountain monastery to guide the creatures of the shard towards resolutions of their problems.

Upon arriving at his humble abode, the old goat sage recognized Pinkie's condition for what it was: her eyes were able to pierce the veil and witness the secrets hidden beyond. To her uninitiated father he offered to train the filly in his art so that she may learn to calm her mind and be released from her affliction. Pinkie had always been a frail foal unfit for hard labor, so the stallion agreed, visibly relieved by the prospect of a cure. The monk's name was Shatterhorn and he was one of the great masters versed in an ancient discipline that allowed its users to perceive and affect the flow of mana. Being a resilient old goat, his desolate lodgings and harsh traveling conditions were not meant to be experienced by younglings. Thus the monk decided to cut his journey short and take the little filly up into the mountains. After a perilous climb through wind and mist, the two arrived before the guarded monastery gates chiseled into a precipitous rock face. Inside, they were greeted by a lively mob of young tahrs and chamois who have been residing there as students. After all, these monasteries did not serve only as vaults of knowledge but also as schools for reclusive folks of the high mountains, most of whom were not being taught the redundant and obscure ways of mana. Living among her new horned peers within the safety of enchanted walls, little Pinkie bloomed into an energetic and benevolent student. Her raw talent, sharpened by strict training, soon allowed her to perceive even more of the unseen world while her deepening knowledge enabled her to sway the invisible currents beneath her hooves. And so the years passed by.

Now the world's currents twitch and pulse in a curious manner. A group of three ponies is seeking aid of a fabled pony seer that is said to reside in a remote mountain monastery, or is it the other way around. Many ancient scrolls and powerful artifacts have been stored in that monastery. One item in particular has piqued the villain's interest.

HISTORY'S FLUFFIEST DISCIPLE

Nimble as a goat and harder than a cookie, Pinkie is an accomplished disciple of the mountain monastery who has been entrusted with many a task from counseling to minor acts of exorcism. As a martial artist adept at using true sight, she can read the mana flow of living things, predicting their intentions and striking their weak points with her swift hooves, although she much prefers to utilize this hard-earned skill in the form of relaxing hoof massages. At her low level, she can interact with the incorporeal just enough for her to break simple enchantments or give that lesser dark spirit under your bed a good kick, and if she tries really, really hard she can hop out of her corporeal pony suit as a spirit Pinkie ready to scour the monastery for hidden sweets until she gets caught in one of many protection charms. Fear not, as her constant failures at outwitting the masters have not been in vain. These mishaps have forged her into an exceptional housekeeper. Speaking of the masters, legends have it that the wisest mana weavers among them are not only able to counter spells and disrupt the flow of great ley lines, but are also capable of unleashing terrifying attacks that can shatter mountains. Legends are full of exaggerations. In the end, you are probably just wondering one simple question: Can this Pinkie read the crystal ball?

Ty Lee: inspiration's manifestation

WARRIOR PONK

The ancient teachings and her many travels across the shard have forged Pinkie into a humble, adaptive, and bright young pegasi who has managed to rise above the shadows of her childhood. To the masters of the monastery she is the mischievous ringleader of her fellow cenobites, full of questions and unorthodox solutions. To the folks of the mountains she is the wise young mediator and a courageous exorcist always ready to lend a helping hoof to those willing to help themselves. Monks are not a charity organization made for those who do not seek fulfillment, and so Pinkie does not pry into creatures who do not desire her attention, at least not beyond the surface that harbors their intentions. Though, it goes without saying that such a young and perky seer is undoubtedly incredibly skilled in social affairs that may or may not include parties.

When your friend breaks a Pinkie promise

To make a good G5 Pinkie one must first understand that she needs to be a character and not a glorified aggregation of bad millennial quasi humor. Much like the heroes of yore, she too needs to be granted simple yet understandable reasons for her actions and a set of compelling tools tailored for a grand adventure. Of course, retaining her positive nature is key; however, this nature must not just be a default, unchanging part of her personality but a trait tempered by experience. One could say that G4 Pinkie's cheerfulness is a self-contained state she wants to force onto others while this Pinkie's cheerfulness is the product of nature and nurture that can be used to guide others towards their own versions of happiness.

MEGHAN SHOULD ASK FOR THIS

Squeaky but not too squeaky. Loud but not obnoxious. Excited but not hyperkinetic. Should behave like a low-key thot while remaining pure. Your best bet is a hwite girl VA. This does open up a question about how much abuse from screeching leftists are you willing to tank on social and mainstream media due to a completely understandable utilization of different aspects from various cultures? There is only one right answer: "All of it!"