Me and my potty mouth go back a ways and I have gotten in trouble from it many times before, I am not in any trouble from it that I am aware of this time but I am trying to do something about before that becomes the case. Yesterday my mother was a bit upset with me because apparently my aunt who occasionally shops at the store I work at told my mother that she overheard me swearing under my breath while I was up in the 9th circle of hell (the checkstands).

Though I honestly truthfully don't remember swearing while up in the check stands and am even willing to make that a Pinkie Promise I have come pretty close to it and have on some occasions have done some swearing under my breath without even realizing it so it is possible that I may have done so while in the checkstands. And it is also possible that someone may have misheard one of the various swear substitute words I often use while up there. That and when I hear "Jerry check up front please" it is often followed by me saying "shit" "damn it" or some other expletive. And my manager caught me swearing once after I dropped something and I didn't get a write up or anything but he did tell me not to use "vulgar language".

Of course what really pissed me off about that conversation with my mother is that she automatically assumed that those comments under my breath were insults to the customers I was dealing with. And while I will admit there are some customers who I would love and tolerant having my fist in their face even I have enough restraint not to say anything about them at least until they are on their merry way.

I understand that she is worried about me and dosen't want me to get canned but I can't believe it didn't occur to her that it might be the situation at large and not just whatever customer I am dealing with that has me so pissed off. My primary duty is supposed to be that of a dairy clerk so I have to worry about what goes on back there and up front which is ridiculous.

I have even made the occasional joke or two when something went wrong, about a month or two ago when my checkstand started making a weird noise I asked one of the checkers next to me "how do I shut this thing up? I left my baseball bat at home, can I borrow yours?" And one time while I was in the checkstands when the milk load was being delivered and the assistant manager asked if the truck driver was still there I replied "if he is than he probably died of old age waiting for me to come back." So yes I have let a little bit of my inner smart ass out up there and have had a situation or two where I freaked out a big but none of my freakouts involved spewing expletives.

But can you really blame me ladies and gents? BS is not my first language, if I do a fake smile I end up looking like a pedophile (neat that rhymes) or like Ren did in that one episode of Ren and Stimpy with the Happy Happy Joy Joy song.