I need an outlet to pour out myself in order for me to confirm that I exist. If I don't have that outlet I feel that myself that is residing inside of me starts to get restless as it cannot confirm it's own state of being. Thàt feeling is bit like the feeling I was talking about earlier but it isn't the same.
It puts me pretty much in some kind of bind and I render myself useless because of that. Feeling like there is something that I should be doing but there really isn't anything so I don't do anything
Feels like an escape is the only way for me to break out from this position and that is what has been keeping me going these days mainly. I can't deal with myself so I escape by watching anime
I haven't watched lot today which I think is one reason of my weird feeling now I don't even feel like I am who I am right now it feels like some other force controls my body at times and I'm just fooling myself thinking that it's me. Or maybe it's the other way around.
Maybe that is me but now someone else is writing this .