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My Predicament


EpicEnergy

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In this blog entry, I’ll just be talking about what’s happening in my life right now.

So, I’m trying to get a job. That’s what I’ve been saying for the past few weeks now though, I need to step it up more and try harder. Anyways, I have no clue what job I will get or how long I will be working, I’m trying various things right now, but I will probably be working 8 or more hours a day once I do get one.

I’m also pursuing a career right now in computer science and programming, so I’ll see how that works out for me. I’m taking some small, free online courses and learning more about the field. It’s interesting for me, but I still don’t know if I want to do that as a career – there is no reason for me not to, I’m interested in computers and programming languages and I have the capability of understanding most of those things, but I still have doubts. I mean, creating algorithms, variables, functions, and doing mathematics everyday seems too high of a task for me to do. I haven’t failed at any of it, yet, and I’ve understood what I’ve been learning, but I still don’t know.

Despite what I’ve said above, I feel like I haven’t been making much progress lately, and that it’s all my fault. Everything’s starting to get under my skin, I’m more conflicted than I’ve ever been in my life. I mentioned it before, that I sometimes feel positive and sometimes feel negative, a constant battle within. It’s also the stress, I’m stressing out because I must get a job, get a decent car, get money, pursue a career, get out of my comfort zone, and do something with my life – all while fighting a brutal battle with my strong desire to give in to laziness and comfort; also, I’m trying to do those things but nothing big is happening because I’m not trying hard enough, so I must push myself even further which makes the pressure significantly worse. I was hoping that knowing my career, possibly something in computer science, would help, and it does a little, but that also makes things worse. I’m not going to let anything get me down and stop trying, but it is starting to really affect me.

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I'd say keep at it. Find a suitable job that will help pay for a car, tuition, and stuff. I think you'll feel a lot better after an accomplishment like that. :)

Are there any trades or such you enjoy? It's always good to have a back up plan.

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58 minutes ago, Phosphor said:

Are there any trades or such you enjoy?

@Phosphor I haven't really tried much yet, so I don't know. I think it's a good idea though, so I'll be on the lookout for anything else I enjoy. Thanks for the advice!

Edited by EpicEnergy
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Coincidentally, I find myself in the same position as you. I'm also a Computer Science student, and I haven't a clue what kind of career I'm looking to get into upon graduation. But, like @Phosphor above said, I think it would be best to have a backup plan of some kind, something relevant to your skillset and interests ideally. For example, my backup plan is to go into the Scottish Fire and Rescue Service and train to be a Firefighter. Keep an open mind about the multitude of career opportunities there are out there, especially in the Computer Science/Programming fields, there are tonnes! Don't feel brought down by a lacking motivation, or feeling like what you're doing is pointless, because we all feel like that at times. Keep an open mind and don't stress too much about your future or career, 'cause odds are there's millions of others out there in the exact same position as you.

Best of luck, mate. :)

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