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So long, and thanks for all the fish

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Celtore

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I never imagined I'd be writing this, and yet here we are.

It's been a fun few years, but the time has come for me to go. Not just here though, Celtore is leaving that large series of tubes that we call the Internet. The forums, youtube, IRC, everything.

Let me take a few steps back, actually. Since I was young, I was always in love with computers. The first computer program I ever ran was a little game called Great Adventures: Pirate Ship, a Fisher Price game. To this day, it's my inspiration for software development. Look how fantastic those graphics are, listen to that audio; it's a work of art and you can tell a lot of heart went into it. Anyway, I'm diving off topic...

When I was around 11-12, I discovered social media on the internet and community powered content. All sorts of games, forums, chatrooms, the usual stuff, but only in the mid 2000's instead of today. I loved it because it let me chat and interact with my school friends when I was at home without having to physically be next to them. I really enjoyed interacting with my friends, whether it was at recess, at one of our homes, at some kind of place like a swim complex or on the internet in a chatroom or in some game. The web also let me talk with people on the other side of the world, which was pretty amazing to think about back then.

In the later years of high school, the internet became ever more important because of its convenience. Why meet in person at a mcdonald's when you can talk over IRC or World of Warcraft? We would still meet at recess and play our silly games; oh wait, that wasn't a thing any more. Recess in grades 7-12 became "breaks", 5 minute intervals which were barely enough to get you from one class to another. Then high school came where I was basically a hermit for 4 years. Very few reached out to me, but I'll be honest, I would have hesitated to reach out to me too back then.

Ever since those high school days, there's a part of me that feels empty and unfulfilled. I have a great family, plenty of money in the bank, a well paying job I mostly enjoy that I spent 6 years of my life fighting for, no debt... I should be happy, but something holds me back. I think that I've finally realized what that problem is: my over-dependence, perhaps even addiction, with the internet.

I call it an addiction because it's pretty bleeding obvious when you look at me from a third-person perspective. I never go to work events or even personal interest clubs because I'd rather be in my study derping around the internet. I'd rather be browsing reddit than going out to the library, working on my art skills or even taking my Telescope outside on some lovely nights. Old me would have jumped at the opportunity to drive over to a friends place or a local event instead of being alone online, but now that I have wheels, I can't be bothered! And social media like these very forums are instigators where I can say to myself, "You're being social, Bob! You're socializing with people!", when in reality, I'm just in denial and digging myself into an even deeper hole.

So thank you all very much for dealing with me over the years. I was considering just fading into obscurity, but I felt that I owed an explanation to some certain individuals and it wouldn't be the right thing to do. I'm sorry for being so selfish, but I feel like I need to address this directly after ignoring this problem for all these years. I think this emptiness of mine can only be solved if I get out of my chair and fill it with something. So again, thank you all for being such excellent human beings. I cant say our bonds quite reached the levels of my old college and school friends, but you are all amazing people none the less. Don't let anyone, even yourselves, say differently. Farewell.

 

Yours sincerely,

Celtore :derp:

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Good luck with everything. It can be a horrendous addiction that stunts social skills. I've limited my internet by a ton and it's made my life better. Cutting it cold turkey, for now, maybe the best thing. If you ever come back to it, find balance, and make the real world outside of the pixelated forest of dreams your number one priority.

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Oh no! My astronomy buddy is leaving! :(

I can certainly understand, tho. I'm sorta in a similar situation. Got a nice career, a house, and both vehicles are paid for; but, I too, spend a lot of time on the internet after work. 

Wish ya the best of luck and if you ever venture into the land of pine trees and sweet tea, I'm not hard to find, especially after dark on a clear night. Just look for a huge telescope on the back patio. ;)

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Sometimes, a break from the norm is what's necessary to move forward with Life.

*salutes*  You shall be missed - but we understand.  Excelsior.

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