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It's a new day. Every waking moment for me is one with despair, and I'm constantly starved for help for my crippling sadness. Frankly, I'd say I have a long road ahead of more depression. Around every corner, there's more things for me to be depressed about. I'm feeling numb, because I feel like I have no time left until I do something horrible...

All that remains of my not as worrisome past are some posts I made on the web. As if that wasn't bad enough, I live in a house divided by religious views and politics. I wish I could talk about it on the internet without putting myself in harms way. But if I did that, I would be left with nothing but being amid the ruins of my old life. I wish I could go back. But sadly, there is no going back.

I have so many regrets. I wish I could do something about it, but I can't because time is the ties that bind. I would've just taken the things I needed then, but I couldn't do that because I'm not above the law. I'm saddened by this, but hopefully I'll get over it because I'm thicker than water. But unfortunately, my only escape from my despair seems to be from the gallows.

I guess I could say that I'm done running. I just don't wanna live a life of emptiness anymore. I especially after listening to my mom playing "Suffer the Children Unto Me." And after examining all the broken toys I have remaining from my past... I can only say one thing...



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Hi Avery, I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling with depression. I also deal with depression as well as anxiety on a regular basis. In fact, I am currently taking medication and am seeing therapy. As someone who has dealt with metal health issues for a while now I would highly recommend that you also see a therapist if you are not able to share your thoughts with family or friends, and if you visit a psychiatrist and qualify for medication I'd advise also giving that a shot if all else fails. Anyways, I hope you get help soon, and Happy New years!

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I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. As Snow said, see a therapist or psychiatrist and get the help that you need. Keeping everything bottled up and not resolving your issues will only cause things to get worse. I had a roommate and good friend who fell into a severe depression after his fiance cheated on him. We found a suicide note by him written on the fridge. We had to have him committed before he tried anything. Thankfully he was able to get the help that he needed.

I hope that you are able to come around. :kindness:

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