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I Have No Idea Anymore

DJ_Vinyl.Scratch_3

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I want to blog right now, I do. I just don't know why or what about. There's so many things going through my head right now and I definitely can't write about all of them. So I'm writing about all of them. 

Yeah, yeah, super counterproductive sure. But I won't be too specific. A lot of these things probably seem petty or stupid or just plain you know wanting to punch me in the face for being stressed over this. 

I just want to grow up. I want a choice in how my house looks, or what food we buy. And where I can go. I just feel so trapped and I want to grow up. I want to make all the decisions kids are scared to make.

I failed my post test in History. I just found out a couple minutes ago that I could have redone it and all the work I missed because I had been really sick the last week of school. But my mom didnt tell me about the email and she said he wanted all final grades in by tomorrow. So now I have like no time left to do anything. And I've never failed a test before not EVER. 

GREY'S ANATOMY IS TOO EMOTIONAL AND HAS TOO MANY GOOD LESSONS ABOUT LIFE THAT I KIND STAND HEARING RIGHT NOW

I keep finding random things to cry about and my moms wants to play a game as a family. I just can't go downstairs because I'd have to try so hard not to cry. And my dad is gone at a funeral so he can't help me with anything. 

I go back to school on Wednesday. I'm not ready to see people EVERYDAY, kids! 

The only good thing about next week is dance, but that's only twice a week. 

HAHA I like a really good friend of mine and obviously I can't tell him. I REALLY LIKE BEING SINGLE. 

I have too many books to read and that probably sounds dumb but I used to read every hour of every day and I just can't now. Reading was my life and I really really miss it. I just can't seem to get myself to read. I'm too distracted and by things so stupid I even want to punch myself.

I guess that's life though. Right???

 

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Don't rush it on the growing up part. Being an adult is fun until the joints start aching  :P

You need to relax your mind. Perhaps try some stargazing? Or maybe a hobby you haven't participated in a while. :fluttershy:

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41 minutes ago, Phosphor said:

Don't rush it on the growing up part. Being an adult is fun until the joints start aching  :P

You need to relax your mind. Perhaps try some stargazing? Or maybe a hobby you haven't participated in a while. :fluttershy:

Okay. Thanks, I'll try that!:mlp_rarity:

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My mom always said "Enjoy your time while you still have your parents to take care of you, being an adult is hard." and "Sometimes, I miss the time when your grandma took care of me when I was at your age."

Also, after seeing how my mom lives her life, it looks like she's more trapped than me. Maybe that's just life after marriage, but that's a part of being an adult, right?

Edited by Kevin Tang
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I'm almost 21 and I still don't know what I want to do in life. I have a good job but I don't know if I want to that for the rest of my life. Don't rush through life and miss out on the experiences. I still am eager to grow up but still have the damn mind of a kid. I don't feel like everyone else. I hope you get to feeling better and most importantly enjoy life.

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9 hours ago, Lord Midnight Madness said:

I'm almost 21 and I still don't know what I want to do in life. I have a good job but I don't know if I want to that for the rest of my life. Don't rush through life and miss out on the experiences. I still am eager to grow up but still have the damn mind of a kid. I don't feel like everyone else. I hope you get to feeling better and most importantly enjoy life.

Thank you. I guess I should probably be more of a kid while I can.

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Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and echo what others have said about not being too eager to grow up.  They always say that time seems to move faster the older you get, and I always thought that sounded like cliché tripe, but I cannot believe how true it is.  It's exponential.  It feels like years 0-10 take a century to pass.  Years 10-20 take about 50 years to pass.  Years 20-30 take about one year to pass, and years 30-40 take about two months.  That's really how it feels.  I'm 33, and I still cannot believe it.  I feel like I'm still supposed to be 20.  I felt like I was 20 a couple of weeks ago.  I don't know where the time went.  Try to savor every point in your life, because it goes by fast, and every stage of life has its own challenges.  Being an adult is no better or worse than being a kid, in my opinion.

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