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The Past, Present and Future.

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Demencia

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So, to start this off, this is a look back at my past (the last 4 or so years).

I remember when I had found out about My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and the fandom. It was in the middle of 2013, I was in a dead end marriage and pretty much had no friends, no thanks to my ex wife. An ex of mine had found an old copy of the original g1 MLP movie I had made for her and had contacted me... I won't go into detail here, but suffice it to say, I thought of looking up episodes for my 11 yr old step daughter and 3 year old son to watch. But instead I had found G4, started watching it and found the fandom.

Skip ahead a month or so. I had been going to some of my local meetups and had made some friends. I had then found out about PonyconAu and my wife (now ex) had reluctantly let me go to it. On the first day, I felt so alone and depressed, I had just sat in a corner on my phone. That is until some of my friends introduced me to Evdog, who then proceeded to spend the rest of the day with me, essentially saving my life.

Skip once more to November 2013. I had enough of my now ex wife trying to control me and backing out of agreements we would make. I then also find out, she had been cheating on me with our guild master from SWTOR for a few months now. That was the last straw, I ended up telling her I wanted a divorce, which she took surprisingly well. A week passed and a friend (now ex friend) had offered for me to move in with them, and so I did near the end of the month.

Skip to December 2013 to early 2014. I had been struggling with my depression a lot, and the separation wasn't helping any at all either. I was going through having to move not once but twice over the coming months and coming to terms with not only my sexuality but also my gender dysphoria, as it was all so new to me.. now during that time, I was also very confrontational, aggressive, abrasive and down right immature. I had said and done things to other members on here that were just (see above) and honestly, looking back, while I wasn't trying to be edgy, it's how I came across and I cringe at it all. Now my struggling with above things were and still aren't any excuse or reason for the way that I acted and behaved back then. There are some old members on here (notably Lightning Bliss, though I doubt she'll see this), that I may have upset or angered with my past behavior. I sincerely wish to offer my deepest regret for my past and hope that somehow we can well and truly bury the hatchet, as I quite enjoy her content on YouTube. I'd also like to offer the same apology to anyone else on here I have offended in the past.

This, I hope doesn't come across as me trying to sound more mature than I am, as I know I still have a lot of maturing to do. This is simply me looking back at my past and wishing none of that happened on here.

TL;DR: I looked back on my past, cringed, want to apologise to anyone I offended.

Second, let's look at my present (or more specifically, 2017 to now)...

Skip to mid to late 2017, when my ban was kindly lifted due to the help I received from some members on here. I have now made some awesome new friends and rekindled some old ones as well. Back in 2017 to mid 2018, I was still in a bad situation with housemates and living situations in general, but thanks to the support I got from my friends on here, I got through it all. 

In mid 2018, I had finally moved back into my parents house with my live in partner and things since then have been getting better and better. 

I hope that with the coming times ahead of us, I can continue growing in maturity and continue to enjoy my time here.

Lastly, the future.

No one can really tell what the future will hold for us, what with the closing of FiM's chapter being Season 9, and Gen 5 coming in the future with two more movies possibly also being in the future. What I can say is this, I hope we can all continue being friends on and off these forums, and go on a brand new journey together when Gen 5 does eventually start.

Sincerely, 

Scarlet Rose

P.S whew this took ages to write on my phone, but I am glad I finally got around to writing it 

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Well, I'm glad things are getting better for you. No matter how bad things get, as a wise man once said, "Keep moving forward."

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Well, at least things are getting better for you :)  That's good to hear (even though I hardly know you :P)

 

They certainly have for me, but I'm not going to brag about that here... I've done enough of that. :sealed:

 

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