You know when there's something you can never stop talking about? This is it for me.
My life is significantly less depressing for me now than it was only a mere couple of months ago. I mean you all know a big chunk of why this is, and if you don't, well, you haven't been paying an awful lot of attention to what I've been posting about said thing is over and over again. If you don't know, as of late February or Early March of this year (can't look because of inane forum drama), I have been happily in a relationship, one that has helped me out significantly.
Two months ago, I had a chance argument with a man who would later become my boyfriend. He was arguing about a post he made in regards to being depressed, he sounded like he was trying to force his sadness on other people. Then we apologize to each other, and then after that he begins to sound like the sad little puppy. Adorable, but definitely very depressed about life as a whole. I don't know what switch flips on in me, but I come to love him pretty quickly, and within a week, we've both said that we love each other. Though at first I admit I was a little unsure if I really loved him or I was desperate. But, after a while I come to realize, this guy, was in all ways but physically everything I ever wanted in a romantic partner...
- He's smart enough, and oddly civilized enough, for me to have intellectual discussions with.
- He has been immensely courteous to me, to the point it makes me feel guilty sometimes.
- He's also presses the right buttons if you know what I mean , and if you don't know what I mean, well your mind isn't sick enough to know.
- He also shares interests with me, mainly in the areas of science, mathematics, a specific type of humor, and his musical tastes aren't really too different than mine.
But when I saw him in real life a couple of weeks ago ( had a great time by the way, though it didn't quite go as far as I wanted ), I realized he was also a big cute teddy bear too, you know like the one that's begging to be cuddled with. I'll also say that we slept in the same bed together and I nearly kissed him. Like I was inches from his face before I backed off, because he looks like a big chubby angel who's begging for a kissing.
But to what he's done for me.
- His complements towards me have helped me find a renewed self-esteem, as in I don't view myself as ugly anymore. I still feel like I don't deserve such high praise, but I'll admit I look pretty cute .
- He also helped me through a depression that was spiraling out of control, by giving me hope and love that I've needed for a long time. Seriously, I was quite seriously thinking about hanging myself from the pecan (let's pronounce that: pi' KAN (It's a joke most of you may not get about another couple)) tree growing in the backyard, but since him, they've been replaced with thoughts of cuddling, kissing, and everything else.
- He's helped me get along in the pursuit of my dream of making my own successful tabletop game. He has resources that are getting content from the current version printed off! That and he's really encouraged me to work on it.
- He's also made me realize that it is always good to appreciate what you have. On another philosophical tangent, he's made me realize that negativity is necessary for positivity to exist.
This is not the complete list, but only the list of what is the most impactful of these things.
As for our future together, we're supposed to be going on our "second date" a week from now! We've also been planning about what happens when we really go the distance, and live together under the same roof. He's been planning to get his driver's license renewed, and he's been planning to save up for some sort of place to live for the two of us. We haven't discussed anything like legal marriage or anything yet, but I do fantasize about our lives together as one little bitty gay family of 2 (or 3 if adopting a kid is ever in the cards). I just hope it gets there!
Sorry if I keep bringing this up almost non-stop, but can you blame me anyways? After all my life has improved dramatically since I and he have been together. I am not sorry.