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Rewrites, Review, and Character Backstory

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Doctor Derpy

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I haven't really seriously written a story before, especially in the MLP universe. So I thought it was good practice. Truthfully, it was a rough start. I had originally intended it to be a 'fluff' story and slice of life but couldn't quite get what I wanted down on screen. So in favor, I threw in a more major plot line that fits in with the story I'm writing that doesn't have any ponies. I just thought it would be an interesting scenario.

Before I explain who Evelyn Night is, I'll toss in the link for the mostly outlined 2 chapters and the intro to the third.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/439649/evelyn-night Password: Evelyn

Spoilers? ahead. Mostly explaining the characters backstory.

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I've spent a few years creating Evelyn and her backstory. I relied a lot of science fiction occultism and religion when doing so. One of the major aspects of her story is mostly in parallel with Lucifers downfall. It was one of the bigger reasons Evelyn never revealed her true self to others. It could cause a potentially dangerous war.

Her race, the Precursors, were facing a war against The Council. In preparation, The Precursors copied their own genome and planted it on a planet which would become known as Earth. This was in hopes that if they fell, and indeed they fell, their legacy would live on.

The Precursors were arrogant, thought of themselves to be the protectors of the universe. They created The Traverse, a prison system that was built to hold the most powerful creatures that they came into contact with. Unbeknownst to Evelyn, its original design was to hold her as she could control Time and Space

Prior to the war, Evelyn's father trapped Evelyn in The Traverse in hopes to keep her away from The Council. For over a millenia, Evelyn was trapped inside the prison with another being that was able to persuade the wills of others.

However, there was a problem. The failsafe had failed to bring Evelyn out of the Traverse so she was trapped for longer than intended. After she had gotten out, due to the actions of others, her mind had blocked the traumatic memories she experienced while imprisoned. Landing in 1942, in the middle of a muddy battlefield, and with the fresh memory of her father trapping her, she was overwhelmed and started mercilessly killing humans she had encountered.

A while after and no way off the planet, she began to settle down and began researching found artifacts. In 1962, she created the Alias of Octavia Melody. In honor of her first human friend that played as a Cellist in a Orchestra. Her friend left her Cello to Evelyn/Octavia. (major change in attitude towards humans)

In 2001, she had attended University in Oregon where she soon found Precursors ruins at a digsite in the middle east. Precursors were the only ones able to get into their own facilities, even the newer aliens species hadn't yet solved their mystery. At the digsite, Evelyn found the Mark 1 Valkirye Response Unit and a message from her father explaining his reason for entrapping her. This quickly changed Evelyn's outlook but she still never fully forgave her father.

Evelyn still thought only a hundred years had passed and only figured out the truth when an alien scouting ship had begun kidnapping humans in 2017. When she had the chance to fly off into space, she heard her roommates (and best friends) voice screaming through a radio transmission. Without hesitation (a big development in her character) she went and rescued the other humans. In the process, she got shot by an alien rifle. However, she was able to get the autopilot to land the ship and disappear before anyone noticed.

The  scouting aliens, sent by The Council, were investigating the rumors about the Traverse. They had finally just found out about the prison system and sought to rescue their brother, Kai, from his prison. Kai would be later found out to be the one terrorizing Evelyn in her dreams/memories.

Later on, Acacious is sent to investigate the loss of The Councils soliders and he finds Evelyn. She gets stabbed by a blade, poisoned by a very old, and incurable virus that helped kill her race and also inhibit her own powers.

What takes place between this and the MLPverse fiction? After finding an AI repeating a series of codes, Evelyn finds the location of the most powerful ship ever created, her ship. After struggling to travel through space by her own powers, she ends up face to face with Acacious, the one who nearly killed her. His battalion was laying waste to a planet below. In one last ditch effort, Evelyn evacuated the planet and sacrificed herself by splitting Acacious ship in half.

This is where she wakes up as a pony with her health back and the resurgence of her powers (non-canon but fun) it's in a new dimension as she searches to find her ship that ended up on Equis.

The same aspect happened in the pony dimension but before her other self wakes up from the prison. It's a bit more sinister.

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I'll stop there for now as there's way too much to touch on.

There are also other characters that intersect with Evelyn.

Alex Jones reopened The Traverse by using a portal system he dug up. He accidentally thought it was a highway system through the galaxy. His activation released Evelyn.

The League, an occult research group, was created after a soldier witnessed Evelyn tearing through his allies. It was also suppose to rival Hitlers own occult research groups.

James, a soldier that meets with Kai in the Traverse after trying to find Alex Jones.

 

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