I met a lovely gentleman today named assface who share with me a grave concern about salmonella poisoning. Okay so that is not his real name but for the purposes of this blog that is what I am going to call him. Because my wall load (yogurt, cheese, eggs, juice ect...) came so early that it got there before the milk load it was a lot more difficult and time consuming than usual to break down and work the milk load which put me really far behind. Assface freaked out and yelled at me because *gasp* get ready wait for it you are going to love this...
HE FOUND A FEW EGG CARTONS WITH BROKEN EGGS!
Can you believe it the nerve of me for not being able to alter physics and make eggs which are one of the most fragile things ever unbreakable? I tried to explain to assface that I was behind but his majesty decreed that unless I bent over and put my lips on his decrepit behind that he will complain to the corporate office and the health department. If I didn't need my job or didn't care I would have said this "yes sir do you want me to do that before or after I chew your food and wipe your butt for you?"
But since the customer is always supposedly always right and I had the order from management I had to check every egg carton on the shelf, so I had to take the product I had out back to the cooler and take this shopping cart full of cardboard to the bailer and go to the front to get another shopping cart to put the broken egg cartons in and come back literally no more than a minute or two later and assface scolds me again and orders me to "do it now".
But maybe I am being a tad cruel to this guy, it was unprofessional and inappropriate for me to divert some attention away from his holiness the second coming of Jesus Christ himself to put away highly perishable product I had out at room temperature and clean up my own cardboard and get a new shopping cart to put the broken egg cartons in when I could have just said "screw physics" and had a black hole come suck up all the broken egg cartons and leave the good ones intact.
So this puts me behind by at least an hour possibly even more than that and I barely find anything, but hey it is not like I was doing anything anyway. Yep, I may complain about how hard I get screwed at work but it is all a lie all I do all day is hang out in the cooler brink beer and play pool and occasionally come up front to the checkstands to play video games and eat Doritos.