I probably went down a lot of blocks in the charm list because of my latest blog, What affected me the most is that I hurted my friend ponyEcho, which I love dearly. I begged him for forgiveness and thank God he forgave me. That blog probably also made me look like a "rich" (LOL I ain't no rich) snobby brat that enjoys to step on other people unfortunate economical situation and just hate on them because they are poor and filthy, end of the story, when in reality I am not like that.

I can't fix that fact that I looked like an asshole, because the things I wrote in my previous blog were very much true. Many people will dislike that right off the bat and I can't do anything to change it, but what I can change is what I want you to see from my points of view (which they were poorly excuted in my latest blog) from a subjective manner to a more objective and well explained manner of what I trully meant. I let my emotions to speak for me and I'm not sure if I didn't word alright my ideas or I didn't explain myself well, or my lack of proper english words betrayed me, so allow me to fix this, not to mention that I want to apologize for the horrible things I wrote.

Let me start by saying that I don't like or hate people because they are poor, to be a friend of mine, that's completelly irrelevant to me, but what I do is that I often judge people at first sight or on a first impression, it could be the on the clothing, or how they look or how they behave in the first minute I interact with them or see them.

I think it's very easy to know when someone's homeless based on just their appearance, or if they are looking for stuff through the garbage, yeah I have seen people doing that. And yeah, as assholish as it may sound, I kinda look at them with a kind of superior attitude. This artwork of Rarity would explain better my reactions. Concentrate on her face.

I feel bad when I do this. Because it's not fair to just judge or think people is inferior to me just because they are poor. I know this is wrong and I'm aware of it, but I still do, and I hate this of myself. But I'm sure I'm not the only one on here that judges people in X or Y thing. And it would be hypocrytical to call me names when you do the same thing, I'm not trying to find guiltiness, I can only be responsible of myself and my own acts, not for other's.

I repeat, though a first impression is important to me, it can always change when I get to know that people better, and when they show me how ignorant and stupid I were for judging them, then I start to feel guilt for my actions and for the way I thought of them. My problem is that I fail to be emphatetic, I know there is poverty around the world, I know that there are hunger and people that have no choice but to beg, that life is trully a piece of shit to them. But sometimes I forget about these stuff, I just want them to go away when they ask me for money, how cruel I can be? But I have my moments when I get touched and became generous and lend them some money because I feel like doing it.

But I'm sure I'm not made of stone, I am ignorant and I am even more ignorant because I never went through the hard life of a poor person or a homeless person. I never slept on the streets, I never beg for food or education, I had what I wanted. So it's hard for me to be on a homeless person's shoes if I am not shown what is like to have a very hard economical situation in life.

I remember I saw this movie "In search for happyness" with Will Smith, and the scene when he was in a public bathroom with his son because he had nowhere to sleep and he had to lie to his son in why they had to sleep in a public bathroom, and when someone tried to come in, he kicked the door shut still with his son in arms and it was so overwhelming that he had to cry in silence because their future was uncertain and their life was practically shit. That scene broke me inside, and I don't want to see that movie again.

I saw another movie of a colombian woman who got together with an american man in the US I think, and she had 2 children, he either died or left and she was alone, and on top of that she was illegal, so a shitstorm of bad things happened to these 3 and on top of that she was pregnant again.

I cried in both movies, and I really FELT for these people (note both movies are based on real events) and it made me feel guilty for how I act sometimes. Now that you see that I am not a heartless monster, I want to explain in a objective way my "thing" with poor people.

I should have categorized poor people in 2 groups. One group, is the poor people that have no choice but beg (If they have nothing) but they try, looking for jobs or something to get a better life, no matter what cost (this explanation was kind of shitty). And the poor people that use their condition of "poor" to awake feelings of compassion on other people and get what they want in the shameless way possible, that's the people that I dislike.

Continuing with the second group, these people make a living out of other's charity and they take advantage of it. Let me put convincing examples, so I can show you want I trully mean.

1. A parent sell things on the streets, if they don't get things bought they bring up the fact that they 8 kids to feed. Why in the hell you had 8 kids in the first place if you are that poor? And if that is not enough, they bring the 8 kids with them and they put them as well to sell things, and if they don't make enough money, they get beaten up. This is not new of course, and I consider this child slavery (because it is slavery) is not permitted (at least in my country). These kids should be in school studying.
   
2. These guys that sell things in public buses are very popular. Many of them just ask for funds for a random organization that helps a abandoned children shelter house. When they get the money during the day, they usually open the piggies and take the money, it's been confirmed by the newspapers and local news.
   
3. Using the name of God as an excuse of why I should give them money or buy whatever they are selling is often used, when it's obvious that they are trying to manipulate us.
   
4. And the people like this woman that was outside of my house who takes advantage of a kindhearted action of other person, when the cleaning lady gave her a cup of coffee and crackers to eat, she still asked for money to buy gas....Seriously, tell me if that is correct to do. Why didn't she asked her to buy her a house instead.
   

Now, I hope you get my reasons, and though I know this will not save me, at least you can be open minded enough to understand me. I'm not a snobby person, I don't firmly believe that I am better that anyone else. I don't have a maid, I have to do home chores, like washing the dishes. I've been taught that money don't come off of trees and that I have to work to get what I want, I have my feets on the ground and I know that if I want a bloody WiiU mommy and daddy will not get it for me, if I want one, I'll have to get it myself. In fact, when I didn't get something when I was a child I never made embarrassing scenes to my parents, if I couldn't get something because it was too expensive or they said no, I accepted it. Now, the poor people (the first group) to believe in this, and what to be successful in one future have my complete respects like I mentioned in my other blog's comments. Because they started with nothing and ended with everything.

Now if you still believe that I am a fucking asshole, you should see this MTV's show called "My super sweet 16", I've never seen such as spoiled brats as this bitches who just don't get pleased with anything and they are just disrepectul to their parents and friends. At least I'm grateful for what I have and it doesn't hurt myself a bit to say "I'm sorry" or "thank you"

Well, many will not read because this entry was too long, but I'll use it as a way to say sorry to whoever I offended and that my last blog was poor in content and objetivity.