Hello everyone. To those who knew me back in the day and have stuck around the forum, I'm sure you didn't expect to see me again, and with good reason. To say it's been a while is an understatement. To say it's been an eternity is probably closer to the truth.
There are those who said this day would never come where I'd return, those who have some understanding what happened all those years ago, and those who don't. So it's time to set the record straight, turn a new leaf, and put it all out on the table. This is going to be a long one so please bare with me. I'll try to split this into sections to make it a bit more palatable, and hopefully I can make sticking around for the whole thing worth it.
Part 1: Apologies
Well, this is where I should start. It'll give necessary context for everything that happened back then, and the circumstances that led up to now. Back in ancient times (2012-2013) I was a fairly popular user on this forum, and had a significant following both casually and with a lot of die hard friends I made along the way. But there was a problem, I was a dumb fourteen year old kid full of vanity, and this was the first time I had ever been what I would consider "successful" in a social situation. Those are the ingredients for stupid decisions.
Having what I considered to be "fame" (I know, thinking that having people like your posts on a MLP forum often is 'fame' is pretty laughable in hindsight), I felt invincible. And I felt that I could treat people any way I wanted, with no consequences. And it should go without saying, that's a morally egregious way to behave. In retrospect I'm frankly quite disgusted with myself and I look back on a lot of the things I said both to users and to staff trying to keep me under control with sheer embarrassment and sympathy for those who had to put up with me. Even if I could have gotten away with acting that way it still wasn't right, and that's why I'm actually glad all these years later that I did get banned. Because after the anger wore off, it started sinking into my head that the way you treat people is important.
Being funny isn't enough to excuse being a jerk. And I was just too stupid to get that through my thick skull back in the day. I harassed a couple of specific users, even going as far as to go out of my way to cause them trouble offsite by insulting them on apps like Skype.
It should come as no surprise to anyone then that I got the boot, a permanent ban slapped on my account, and rightly so. The moderators back then displayed insane amounts of patience with me and frankly I don't know if I could have handled fourteen year old me as well as they did back then.
I'm sorry. And I am not just saying that. It's been many years but when I think back to things I've done that I sincerely regret, the way I treated people here in my last months before the ban still comes to mind. I know words cannot properly convey sincere regret, but I hope that now that I've been graciously been allowed back into the site I can once again contribute positively to the site, and this time it can last. I'm a twenty one year old man now, and it's been an immense weight off my shoulders to, after all this time, finally get to say sorry.
I hope that if you were around back in the day and were affected by my terrible behavior, you'd be willing to put that aside and allow me to start fresh, but if interacting with me again is something that some people don't want I understand completely and will respect those boundaries.
There's no justification for what I did back in the day and I don't wish to try and justify it. I hope I can once more be a positive influence here like I used to be in what boomers like me may call "The good ol' days".
Part 2: So what exactly has happened since the ban?
Well, I could write an entire novel detailing the amount of things that have happened since then, so I'll keep it concise and put it into a bullet point list to make it more accessible for anyone who just wants a brief summary of what's been up.
-I got semi-stable work as a freelance writer, doing mostly commissions for fandoms.
-I moved into another house, still live in the same state and town though.
-I enrolled in college, though that's currently on hiatus due to the pandemic.
-I improved my health and can better manage my Type 1 Diabetes
Obviously there are thousands of other things that have happened between then and now, but those are the most relevant to the overall state of my life. I look forward to catching up with any old friends who may still be around to this day. I've already reached out to a few.
Part 3: Why did I come back, and what happens next?
To answer the first question, there's no single concise answer that fully explains it. It's more of a compilation of small factors. The main contributing factors were my desire to apologize to those I've wronged, the fact I found an old fanart of my pony OC while going through a old hard drive, and that I befriended someone on Discord who is part of the fandom and reminded me that it's still kind of a thing, even if not as much as it was all those years ago. I was nostalgic for this place, and I sincerely missed it.
The answer to the second question is more exciting. I'm back and just going through the backlog of my old content right now, and while a lot of the things I did were pretty silly, I did have a few good ideas I plan to continue, such as the interview series with users of the forum. One of the fondest and most vivid memories from back then was me getting the chance to get to know so many of you through that, and so it brings me pleasure to be able to continue it.
I plan to become active in the forum, and the fanbase as a whole once again. I haven't watched the show since the middle of Season 4 so I'm quite a bit behind, but I'll end up irresponsibly binging all the episodes in a row some day like the weirdo I am, don't worry.
If anyone has any questions for me, relevant to the blog post or not, I'm willing to answer them in the comments.
And yes, Celestia is still best pony. Some things never change.
Edited by Harmonic Revelations