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Pakistan, America, and Canada


AnonyPoni

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Normally I don't feel like I have enough of a right to talk about my problems, since there are people that actually have REAL problems that actually deserve advice.

 

But this is a problem I have had my whole life and I might as well voice it.

 

 

My dad is in the US Air Force, and (within the rounding error of me being born on a US base in Germany) I've really lived in the US my whole life.

 

But here's the deal, we're from Pakistan. I'm not part Pakistani or something, but like full purebred Punjabi Pakistani (again, within a rounding error).

 

And yeah, I'm Muslim as well.

 

 

ISLAMOPHOBIA! Woooo It's something I had to deal a lot with when growing up. Most Muslims in the US live near other muslims near a mosque, so they get to grow up around each other and feel ok and supported by each other.

 

Me? Not so much. Being in an Air Force family, we move all the time (this summer will be my 10th... to Belgium) and we live near the Air Force bases. Normally, where we live there are only white and black people, mostly really only white. (For the record I'm going to have to use racial terms like that just for sake of clarity. I don't mean anything derogatory in it, I promise.)

 

So I'm around people who aren't muslim, and sometimes don't like muslims because of Islamophobia spread by Fox News <..< (and other networks I know but Fox is so vehement about it). Most people are ok with it though, but there is that feeling in the air. I normally have to explain that muslims are not "blarg honk blarg" and stuff like that. (I get tired of explaining what Sharia Law ACTUALLY is, which is tribal law masquerading as Religious law <..< but I digress)

 

Now on the OTHER side (the muslim one), Let me be frank... I'm pretty sure I don't like that label on me. I'm good at being muslim or believing stuff. But you cant just say "oh if you don't believe in it, you can always be Atheist or Agnostic." I don't exactly know how that's going to help. While I probably agree with them on most levels, I'm not totally "THERE IS NO GOD" or "I DONT CARE". Also, it doesn't fix the LABEL issue, and I hate the Label of being Muslim. With my name and obvious ethnicity (I look the part), I'll still be looked at as a Muslim and people will still ask "Are you Muslim or something?"

 

"Where are you from?"

"Depends. I'm from America."

"No, I mean where were you born"

"Then I'm German"

"Wha really? No you aren't, you're brown!"

"Well ask your questions better"

"What country is your family from?" or "What ethnicity are you?"

 

^^ I'm so evil XD but at this point, I answer "I'm Indian" even though that is really a complete lie. But let's be honest, you think india and you think Taj Mahal, exotic women, and customer service. You think Pakistan and you think Taliban, Corruption, Anti Americans (which isn't technically true but I'll explain it some other time), Al Qaeda, the place Bin Laden was killed, and instability. It's no wonder why I say I'm indian in that situation. I even try to pull off Latino when I think I really need to.

 

Though I dont actually LOOK Latino or Indian if you sit me next to one, but to most people just who see "brown" and It can work.

 

I do explain pakistan to some people, but normally not.

 

I'll be honest, in that level I sorta wish I was white like most everypony else. Then it's not assumed I'm a certain religion in America. And people dont look at you weird

 

Anyway, because of my whole "I am not proud of being a muslim" thing, I hate going mosque. When my parents drag me there, I feel overly alienated. I can't speak the language (Gujarati, not Arabic. I'm not going to explain that <..<) and suck at the customs.

 

At one point, I was eating at taal (I cant find anything on google that I can explain with. Basically, we all share the food on a big metal dish and you eat with your hands. It's very unhygienic but somehow no one gets sick) with several guys my age. The conversation was just... UGH it wasn't fun for me. To sum it up, I'm apparently not muslim enough and going to hell. I

 

How am I supposed to feel about that? I grew up with people telling me I wasn't American because I was Muslim (and Pakistani). Now I'm not Muslim enough. What the buck am I supposed to be?

 

And yes, I know there isn't a spectrum where Muslim is on one side and American is on the other. But the Media makes it seem that way. And so do the people who tell me that <..<

 

Anyway, I've had Identity issues to a point. I dont want to be pakistani or muslim, but that's what I am. I've been trying futilely to get away from it for most of my life. I want to be more American, but I also dont know If I want to, since what is American, the stupid people who tell me I am not? They seem to think so.

 

<..<

 

Hmm so. Uh.... I probably shouldn't say this.... mmmmm well might as well. So I chat with a friend the forums who is Canadian. Once, when she was about to sleep, I said "Good Night, Miss Canada!"

 

She replied "Good Night, Mr America!" (we've done it like this ever since)

 

And I dunno... Something clicked in my head. Besides that being the most masculine thing anypony (or a girl for that matter) had said to me, It sorta made me feel an Identity. I've had a hard time feeling like an American while growing up. I've been separated, I've been teased, and I've been confused about this issue of being a Muslim or an American or something else. Then this Canadian girl just called me "Mr America." She didn't call me Pakistani, Indian, Muslim, or anything different, but American.

 

To be honest, I know she was just making the logical reply, but it didn't change the effect it had on me

 

So does this solve my problem? Probably not. I'm probably going to have to deal with it for the rest of my life. But I'm getting to a point where I feel better about it. The "Mr America" thing did let me feel more American, and when it comes down to it, I am that. It has nothing to do with religion, ethnicity, or even belief. I am an American because that's what I am.

 

Thank you, Miss Canada, for helping me feel that way smile.png

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now hopefully she isn't angry about me talking about that in a blog post

  • Brohoof 3

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I'm one of the people who wishes humans would stop labelling and stereotyping other people. Yeah, if it's used in good humour, by the party being stereotyped, I don't mind it. Otherwise, it can be offensive. I get tired of hearing my own mother B*^ing about assylum seekers and muslims in Australia "Coming here for the Australian Lifestyle and not adjusting their beliefs and customs."

 

I really wish I was brave enough to tell her off. The assylum seekers aren't here for the lifestyle. They're here for the safety. They don't want to live in a place where they could be killed when they've done nothing wrong. They want a safe happy place to live. My mum just doesn't realize this. Maybe I'm just more open minded and accepting of other people (a good thing)

  • Brohoof 2
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It's hard to not really belong in either group. Somehow both sides are constantly looking up excuses to cast you out, and you either have to pretend all the time, or get used to being on your own all the time, or even go back and forth between the two.

It hurts me to know you're being pushed into rejecting your heritage because of the ignorance and stupidity of others.

 

I don't see why you'd be forced to go to the mosque to be a good Muslim, or have the same interests. That isn't the point of Islam, nor of any religion actually, but it's simpler to just say "you belong to this group, so you must behave exactly the same way and have the same mentality or skills" and "you don't look and think or act like that, so you don't belong in the group".

That's the basis of pretty much every single kind of discrimination, like Islamophobia and "Turcophobia" (which I had to deal with in France, because I'm Turkish). Fetishization is also a result of it, but that's just annoying and not harmful.

 

I didn't know the truth of the Sharia Law... but it doesn't surprise me to learn it has nothing to do with Islam. Plenty of allegedly "religious" customs (like dressing codes, how women are seen as inferior or boys are circumcized) are actually simply cultural habits, confused with religion because they were spread along with it (or were mentioned in sacred texts, being a part of those times' customs rather than eternal rules).

  • Brohoof 1
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Probably best to dump the whole national identity thing altogether, because when you pretend in order to avoid people's preconceptions, you're buying into the problem.

I mean, it must be an absurd situation for your father being in the U.S. Airforce while the country treats Pakistan like a big villain (among many others). Much of their military activity is based on that divisive propaganda. You have to realize that racial preconceptions are a tool for that military conquest. But for your father, it would probably create massive existential fears aside from the identity crisis. Fox News is a government lackey, and the military is its executive arm. The more people drop illusions about things like this, the better they can attain personal freedom and empowerment.

 

If people give you crap for being a Pakistani, then you shove their nose into that crap (in a polite way if possible though). It's them who should feel bad for being like that. They have to be led into a dead end with their preconceptions. They might not like you for triggering that, but that's their problem really. If they can overcome their uneducated views, WIN!. If not, nothing lost. As soon as you base your interaction with them on the acceptance of their preconceptions, you lose. You have to treat them like you have no idea about these things. A bit like a socratic dialogue. Don't let their beliefs creep into you. Beliefs can be tricky like that.

You can spend so much time and energy trying to convince people, but you can also focus more on more productive stuff - stuff that's nourishing you.

I've tried to make people wake up a while ago, passionately, and let's just say it felt like dealing with an army of zombies. ... Zombies are walking very slowly though.

 

Can you imagine how Japanese immigrants with US nationality must have felt during WWII when they were forcibly put into concentration camps by 'their' government?

It seems that sometimes people bear so much crap without acting consequentially as a result. If a country treats its own people like this and gets away with it, it will happen again.

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(shortened because it was really long

 

Well that's probably a rather extreme way too look at it. XD But you had some good points. I'm not in that much fear of concentration camps anymore, though if you watched the Republican Primaries it's clear that it's a twisted idea that is sorta still around.

 

Pakistan is also an ally of the US, but most people don't realize that. And drones <..<

 

Also, My dad being in the Military doesn't make me feel like I'm in some absurd situation. I guess i'm an idealist, but I do feel like the Military is on my side (well the Air Force at least). I live in Military communities, have military kids as friends, eat food from the Military commissary, have a Military ID card, and live off Military health care. So the fact that I should feel awkward about being in a military family doesn't really feel all that strong for me. Ignoring the stuff they do sometimes, on my side it's not so bad.

 

(My dad is actually a high rank with a high job too, so that helps)

 

And normally I feel that the people who are really bad are those NOT in the military. They don't get a different view of the world and stuff like that, and aren't as open minded.

 

Course, Army and Marine Corps guys and their kids are pretty insane sometimes when it comes to stuff like this. XD But for most part the Air Force and their people are the most open minded.

 

And I do give people crap if they ask insulting questions about where I'm from or about Pakistan or Islam. I do it by ripping apart their questions to make them feel stupid. However, if someone ACTUALLY is curious and doesn't mean to be insulting, I'll explain stuff to them. I guess one issue is that I don't feel very muslim, but since I am the ONLY muslim wherever I live, I feel like i'm the religion's ambassador and should try to defend it.

 

Hmm what else... Uh, have you heard Henry Rollins? I love that guy. Look him up if you get the chance (I have a feeling you'll like him). Anyway, what he was saying is that he is an American, which means he has a big mouth and the rest of the world has to deal with it. He's no patriot or radical right winger, but he is still an American. Somehow the logic of me saying that helps XD

 

And I don't want to be a certain identity because people tell me to be that.  I want to feel like an American because, IMO, that let's me be who I want to be. No matter what Fox News says.

 

 

So I guess that's my 2 bit reply XD Thank you for the insightful and positive advice for me, though. :)

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I'm one of the people who wishes humans would stop labelling and stereotyping other people. Yeah, if it's used in good humour, by the party being stereotyped, I don't mind it. Otherwise, it can be offensive. I get tired of hearing my own mother B*^ing about assylum seekers and muslims in Australia "Coming here for the Australian Lifestyle and not adjusting their beliefs and customs."

 

I really wish I was brave enough to tell her off. The assylum seekers aren't here for the lifestyle. They're here for the safety. They don't want to live in a place where they could be killed when they've done nothing wrong. They want a safe happy place to live. My mum just doesn't realize this. Maybe I'm just more open minded and accepting of other people (a good thing)

 

Heh. Going to Australia for safety. Isn't like 90% of your wildlife lethal? :)

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