(before we start this i want to go ahead and state that i am actually looking forward to the game and im impressed with what i saw, but that doesnt mean i can have a little fun)

Hi, I'm Activision Overlord Eric Hershburg, now i know you've been waiting almost an hour to see some kind of game play footage, so im going to make this quick, maybe you were expecting MW4, well your wrong, we at Activision decided to get rid of all the creative restrictions on our slaves team at Infinity Ward, and trust me, we had a lot of those! we are done being lazy and we finally getting around to making a new engine for our game, but without further adieu, here is the only thing you'll care about this conference

We here at Infinity Ward are so happy to be making the next gen CoD, even though we are only making it because Treyarc made the last one but you take what you can get. Our new game is awesome! we got new characters and a new setting, like most sequels, oh and we have super cool graphics now. we brought in a guy who knows a thing or two about writing we really wanted characters that you could get emotionally attached to, like most franchises, the game begins with an action set piece, and america is ruined, like in most blockbuster movies, you have a squad of dudes from all the special forces, and one of them is a dog, which is cool, i mean dogs have always been in CoD, but before it was like "Dog!" but now its like "Daaawg!" we have a new engine, it makes the graphics look super cool dude! one of the new features is the lean ability, its new...even though its already in the PC versions of the previous game,we also have a slide feature, even though that feature was in far cry 2 back in 07...but its new because CoD, and also we brought in a brand new advanced fish AI, fish move out of the way when you get near them, here at Infinity Ward we strive for excellence, this is why we take pride in our fish AI, we have also added a realistic fishing mechanic to the game so you can play around with the fish AI more, now for the multiplayer, we have new stuff, like customizable characters, now you may be wondering how that will work, if you've played Saints Row 2, its something like that. we have the best fans in the world, that's why the CoD community is the most hated community on the internet, we have become so popular and sucessful because we focus on gameplay, because if it aint broke dont fix it that and activision wont let us make major changes dont tell them i said this so i believe we will continue to do good.

This will be the most beautiful CoD ever made, I'd have sex with it if i could, now heres some side by side comparisons, MW3 models are crap, ghost models are amazing, they are so hi res you could reach out and lick them. now here the trailer you've already seen!

(i hope this was entertaining, if i should never attempt to be funny ever again let me know, but if you like it i might do more)